ET Wanderer...Ben's story.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Thankyou all for your kind comments and encouragement. I benefited from them.

Yes it is like having the door open and not being discerning enough. Some experiences have seemed disturbing but maybe those in particular quicken the whole inner process.
My elder brother is a fundamentalist christian and for years I struggled with his repeated attempts at conversion as my wandering made me look like a lost sheep. I was made to feel guilty and underneath I was extremely angry with him for treating me like I needed fixing. The same old story of people playing a role instead of just acknowledging one's being. That's really all I wanted from anyone. My trusting nature allowed people to penetrate my inner world without asking permission. I thought that being spiritual or enlightened meant being accommodating but I just got more drained. I suffered(maybe still) from the pretentiousness of trying to be so understanding or above it all.

Recently with my brother whom I hadn't seen for a while..visited my parents place where I live now. We sat and he went into his usual patter of "God's coming back to fix all this.." I remained quiet and did not make any eye contact or acknowledgment of what he was saying. Eventually he asked me what I was doing. I said "Studying life on Mars in a NASA photo...there is alot of life there even humans like us and all sorts of beautiful sculptures and other kinds of beings too...it hasn't reached the news yet but it's good to get a preview". When I stopped he started, " Well I have a biblical perspective on this, these extra terrestrials..they want to be like us..they think we are angelic and want our bodies..I've been looking into it.." I let him rant for a while about it, the religious perspective and then said, "I don't care about religion, I don't have any feeling for it at all. I embrace the scientific temperament and acknowledge spirit in all things".

With that it was over. He folded his arms and maybe realized I wasn't open anymore. I had finally learned to shut the doors for once. It was a good feeling. There was an awkward moment then and lunch was over, I turned to say "Well it was nice to catch up with you.. I'm going now."

I didn't get the feeling that I had been disrespectful.
I have much to learn from the characters in my blood family, it's perhaps my greatest challenge but I will be ok. I will be love.
Cheers
Ben.

This is good inner work, Ben. I too have a teaching through the trial by fire natal family. I am learning much about loving unconditionally and remaining true and good to mySelf. Loving does mean acceptance but acceptance does not mean being walked all over with disrespect.

I am co-currently studying the teachings of Ghandi. I am finding much that is of assistance in my daily life here as well as of course the Ra material.

fairyfarmgirl