Dealing with devastating separation.

[kycahi]

You are suffering the very worst kind of heart disease--a broken one. Most of us have been there and a whole industry exists because of it. You are experiencing this in real time, and fortunately time will heal it almost completely. The scar that remains will serve to strengthen it a little bit. Just live each day at a time while that goes on.

I used to write software, and the C language has a type of data container called a structure. The programmer defines it to carry whatever bits of information are appropriate for the task.

The word "structure" implies something that has strength and rigidity. For some reason that I don't remember, I decided that everybody carries around what I call "Assumption Structures" which give us some quick data for each person that we know and for a stranger that we meet. For example, when we first meet an elderly lady, we have a generic assumption structure that tells us not to use rough language around her and not to bring up certain topics. As we know her more, she will personalize the assumptions somewhat.

The assumption structure we have for our significant other self, whom we love very much, is rich with ideas and memories, and seems to be very strong. When such person suddenly proves that those assumptions are wrong, it leaves us with a gaping hole in that structure or breaks it completely. This is a huge shock to the fundamentals of the world as we know it, and severe pain results.

The gift to you and, therefore the One, is the experience of it. The kind that you can't read about in a book, but you can get a slight feeling for in a song, and Country Music is the "industry" that I mentioned up at the top.