Dealing with devastating separation.

[reeay]

I've never cheated but I've done the avoidant-style break up via email once years ago. Not my brightest moment. It was a selfish need to just break things cleanly w/o drama bc I did not want to even examine my responsibilities in this relationship. It was certainly not an action that considered the well being or done in care for another. At that moment of preserving faux-peace within, I acted in my own self interest.

Whatever your partner's reason (perhaps it's similar perhaps different from my experience), it is about her need for some sort of control/management of (potentially dangerous) situation. If she were to own up to the responsibility of her infidelity and her dishonesty, she would have to see herself in the most unpleasant light. Easier to avoid responsibility. Easier to avoid other people's response to own lack of responsibility.

I wanted to bring her up as a focus bc sometimes it helps to change perspectives - get a bit away from the sadness and pain of break up to understanding what catalyst other may be going thru to engage in such behavior. Perhaps you may see her actions and understand it a bit better, even if it's projecting one's own ideas about what she may be going thru.

Big hugs