Dealing with devastating separation.

[GentleReckoning]

My partner of 4 months broke up with me after my 21st birthday. I really don't remember how it went down, but it didn't really sink in for a while. It had been a rocky relationship, but as I felt I could help her I leaned on my compassion and used that to get past my constant thoughts of becoming too quickly attached to someone. She was immediately in the arms of someone else and I was left alone. I didn't handle it very well. My world immediately lost all meaning which was somewhat unfortunate as I was in the process of trying to graduate from school. Time blurred together, I slept a lot, and would occasionally become manic but most of the time would simply drift through life trying to look normal for everyone else. I cut myself a teensy bit, just because it seemed to be the thing to do when you were down. Unfortunately, I didn't get any kind of a rush from the act and didn't have any desire to explore that further. I got her to meet up with me twice afterwards and each time she was kind enough to talk to me for a bit. I dated a couple other people hoping that I'd be able to release my attachment in the arms of someone else, but it didn't do much for me.

I made her some knitted arm warmers as she had knit me a scarf and I was pretty desperate at the time. I simply assumed that deep down she felt the same as me and went off of that.

This event was catalyst that shaped my life and affects me to this day.

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Oh, I've finally started healing form that by learning to share myself and have kind of become extremely skilled at healing from repression through communication in the process.