Depersonalization Disorder

[meowll]

1) This experience is extremely harsh compared to what I am used to. The catalyst on this planet at this timing is almost unbearable.

I couldn't agree more. I've been insane, and it was practically unbearable. I even got arrested and spent 3 weeks in jail because of my insanity. I should have been in a mental hospital. Instead, I saw ghosts and heard big bangs, and my food kept changing it's flavor while I was eating it. When I was insane I thought I was doing God's work. All that work for a God that doesn't really exist, at least not in the Christian sense.

My catalyst nowadays is work, and putting up with another that I live with. Also the court date coming up in December. I don't know how it will go.

I really hope everything will go well for you.

I went through a period quite similar and what brought me to a place of grounding was understanding that illusion is real. All is illusion and all is real. When I have a dream I really experience it and thus it is real. For a greater explanation see: http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...n+delusion post #9

Such a nice way to describe it. I keep reminding myself that the whole of this illusion is real, too, it helps me ground myself and not forget that I'm here for a reason and that this all is not the nonsense that my skewed perception of reality makes me think it is. This is one of the reasons that I don't relate to Buddhism as much as I used to; I agree that there is no self and the world is an illusion, but it's a necessary illusion.