04-23-2010, 07:14 AM
(04-23-2010, 01:31 AM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote:(04-22-2010, 10:21 PM)thefool Wrote: I really really find it so much saner/easier to just tell the truth and see how the chips falls. And deal with it one time then deal with living the lie everyday...
As adults, we have that option. We can tell the truth and not be responsible for how others perceive that truth.
However, Josh is in a different situation. He lives with his parents. By definition, his parents have the power to make life difficult for him if they don't like what he does.
Young adults whose lives are still controlled to some degree by their parents might not have the luxury of being totally open and honest with their parents, because their parents can do any number of things to make their kids' lives uncomfortable or even miserable.
A young adult living with his/her parents might be old enough and mature enough to make his/her own decisions about his/her private life, but not yet have the freedom to choose his/her own home, lifestyle, etc. and thus be subject to his/her parents' approval/disapproval.
If I were still living at home with my parents, who didn't understand my choices, I wouldn't feel deceptive in withholding personal details from them. I don't think it's a 'lie' to refrain from telling others about our personal lives. The key here is whether it is personal info. I would consider anything we do in our free time, what we choose to put into our bodies, what we do in the bedroom, etc. all to be personal details, and I wouldn't feel obligated to tell someone those details, especially a parent who has the power to enforce punishment if they don't like my choices.
That is fine. I already said it was not a targeted message to Josh. And I don't want anyone to read it that way...