Accepting guidance and the Higher Self

[Lavazza]

For some reason, though I just can't seem to access that higher understanding in the heat of the moment. 5 minutes later, no problem, it's just hard for me to do while the catalyst is flying

Yup, this is me exactly in many circumstances. I don't hold out much hope to actually eliminate my emotional reactions in the midst of a confrontation / argument, in all honesty. Although I do intend, and have made progress doing already, reducing the severity of retaliatory statements and also attempting to find resolve faster instead of letting it fester. Not easily done of course. When in an argument with my wife I try more than anything to imagine what my statements would feel like on her end being received... empathy. One of the hardest things to feel when you are angry, let me tell you. It's hard spiritual work. Better still is to try and learn from the confrontation so that it can be prevented from happening again, which is what I usually do most. Of course, that may not be easy in your circumstance, Pab, since you're dealing with someone who may not quickly change her attitude, thus leaving you with little control over the catalyst she offers reoccurring. Of course what they say is true, "It's not what happens to you, it's how you handle it". True though it may be, it's not easy!

I share these 'symptoms' in my own personal situation. I am troubled by 'bursts' of short term anger sparked off by my partner providing the catalyst.

I wanted to note that it is my partner with whom I share such interactions, from time to time. It seems paradoxical that I should vent anger the most with the one person I am closest with, however it's actually the fact that our paths are so closely intertwined that I practically identify herself as myself. With other selves that I am not as close with I seem to be able to offer less confrontation and instead opt for a mental well wishing for them on their specific path.

As an aside, perhaps a good conflict and rise of emotions is a sign that we chose well those entities with whom we would interact with before we took incarnation. I can only imagine that a tranquil and utterly peaceful third density life, while being quite enjoyable, may not perhaps yield as much fruit to the over soul. See, everything has a silver lining