are you doing enough? (to serve)

[Plenum]

yeah Ankh, I've always held myself to very high standards, and in many ways, unless it is 'perfect' it is not 'good enough'.

this was a bias formed in my early years when I was encouraged to do well at school, and so a '100% mark' was something I internalised in myself. My parents didn't actually push me that hard, the self-driving was something I adopted myself after observing a few prompts from my parents that I had to do well in school to get ahead, and that it was a great opportunity to learn that they never had (my father had 6 years of schooling total, my mother 9 I think). Compare that to our current society where 16 years of schooling is not unusual (six for primary school, six for high school, and then another 4 for university).

so I wanted to do well, and I wanted to succeed ... because, well, it seemed like the thing to do. So my aim was at excelling in academic ways. Anything less than a perfect 100 in tests was a sign of self-failure (again, my parents were not harsh in any way, this was something I put on myself).

I've learnt to undo this particular expectation in myself over the years. High standards are always great, and one should always do the best one can, and always aim to improve, but its the effort that is appreciated, not the end result. With that more 'balanced attitude' in place, I think I tend to be much less judgemental of my efforts these days than I once did.

that last paragraph reminds me of something Mr Ra wrote:

(the thought was given in response to 'sweeping dust', but, as always, they offer a universal philosophical point from the example:

96.4 May we note that just as each entity strives in each moment to become more nearly one with the Creator but falls short, just so is physical spotlessness striven for but not achieved.

In each case the purity of intention and thoroughness of manifestation are appreciated. The variance between the attempt and the goal is never noted and may be considered unimportant.

it is an accepting, loving, and appreciative thought that serves as a useful balancing position to the nature of self-judgement that we might have about our efforts not achieving as much as we originally desired.

and yes indeed, the effort is required in the first place

peace and namaste,

plenum