getting stoned. how often, and why?

[Observer]

So as I sit here I wonder why I am smoking pot, what does it do for me ?
After continuous use you continue to see weaker and weaker effects but you still see one thing.
A numbing of the emotional sensation of pain. I have always used pot for this reason because I am so very used to running to it when I am hurt emotionally by other selves.
I have been relying on my willpower as of late and I had a very rough year the last year, but everything is made to learn/teach and teach/learn so I am happy. I still smoke occasionally when it is offered to me by friends, but I will not purchase it, let alone grow it.