Service to Others becomes Self Service?

[anagogy]

Hello - I've just discovered the Ra Material and it has opened my eyes a great deal in my spiritual journey. I've only finished the first volume and plan to tear through the rest just as quickly.

A question I have (perhaps it is answered later on in the material, so forgive me if so) :

Now that I have a basic understanding of the paths of Service to Self or Service to Others....I want to follow the "others" way. But as I now understand the concepts, how can I not look at Service to Others as merely a form of Service to Self, since my goal of Service to Others is my being harvested into the 4th "positive" density?

Keep in mind, you are an "other" too. The positive polarity serves the "all-self" or the "macrocosmic self". You are included in that. It doesn't mean you have to forgo wanting for self. Not having desires for self is, in general, not the property of this density. But do you want for others what you want for self? That will tell you if you are oriented towards STO or STS.

The negative polarity seeks to exalt the microcosmic self (the ego) above other selves. The negative polarity loves power. The positive polarity seeks the power of love. The love of power is the love of control. The power of love is acceptance of others as equal aspects of the creator.

I suppose the answer may be to just forget I am on the path and just remember to live it daily but -

If I complete a "good deed" I cannot help but think unconsciously after the fact (maybe long, long after the fact in some cases): "hey that was a good deed - score one to Service to Others" ... isn't that in itself "selfish" ?

If the deed genuinely reduced suffering and/or increased love and harmony does it matter? If your actions were not manipulative of others, then they were actions that respected their free will. Only love respects free will.