The ultimate polarization technique

[caycegal]

Life has been tough for me recently. In July, on my birthday, a cop shot my uncle in the head in his own bedroom, stole money, and lied about it all; I even had to help clean up the mess. Soon after that I quit my job because of a sociopathic manager. I broke up with my girlfriend, moved out of our apartment and now I'm living with my parents. My sister got locked up and my parents are very busy so I am the one taking care of the newborn much of the time. All of this happened within a matter of months - it's amazing how life can change so dramatically in such little time. It's given me more time to evolve and serve in my own way, if nothing else. I am lucky to be jobless, my history with insane management seems to be a sign that I need to stop relying on others for my security, working with the kid is definitely a lesson in patience, the situation with my uncle a lesson in forgiveness, etc. I have much more time to meditate and produce art now, which I am most thankful for.

Anyway, I don't see any problem with enjoying your free time; over-extending oneself will reduce the quality of service. Service should not be a chore, it is meaningful because it is from your own free will.

Sounds as if you are a young person, so I am offering you some advice based on my experience. You are going through an incredible amount of stuff - sounds like you have a good attitude. It's possible you are simply burning up karma at a tremendous rate. That's what happened to me, as my life kept getting better. Best wishes to you.