Death

[Ruth]

Someone that I know has passed away, has died. This saddens me. This person leaves two grownup children who struggle to except their mom's passing. https://www.facebook.com/groups/19386463...0/?fref=ts

This person's death reminds me of my own mortality. How will I die? Will it be painful? Will it be after a long painful illness? I am afraid to die. All my life I have been afraid to die. Yet at times I wanted to die.

The first time I had to deal with death I was 9 years old. A younger girl about 4 years old died while in a diabetic coma. I felt such a sense of loss. I talked to my mom about missing this person. She did not know what to say. I tried to talk to my dad later. He pretty much avoided saying anything.

So I grew up with this big emptiness inside of me. Every time I hear about someone dying that I knew, I am reminded of this emptiness. I don't recognize it as emptiness at first. Other emotions show up like shock, fear, anger. But then I come to this point where there is just emptiness, maybe loneliness. Eventually I just tuck it away somewhere until another day when it resurfaces. For some reason I have never learned to deal with death.

I'm so sorry for this family's loss of their loved one. I will send them love and light as they learn to continue on without her. Working through grief can be a very long and painful journey.

Like you, Jimhu, I experienced the death of a loved one at a very early age. Intellectually, and even spiritually, I know that there really is no "death" - there is just transition. But those who are left behind have emotions to work through. A sense of loss and hurt and pain, even anger.

I have not found a way for anyone else to help me with that work. I've had to just dig deep within myself and do the work myself.

So, I'll also send you love and light as you work through your feelings about death.