loneliness of the body

[Jeremy]

Since separating from my ex of 13 years and a subsequent failed relationship after her, I find myself lacking the time for such a grand adventure such is the joining of two mates. Once I finally moved back out of my parents house after a year and into my own place coupled with child support resulted in working two jobs with the only days off being the days I have my daughter. This means that the only free time are the few hours between the time I get off from work and I go to bed.

I will admit that at times, the loneliness has consumed me to the point of drinking just to forget about such a thing. Spending ones life with another since the age of 19 makes one dependent in a way of having that other self for everything. I have come to the realization though that being alone at this time is exactly what is needed to work upon myself in ways that I have long neglected.

At times like this, I just sit outside as I am now, put my headphones in, and gaze upon the trees as they ebb and flow by the wind. Connecting with nature is really my only connection outside of work therefore I have come to truly appreciate and even talk to the various trees in my backyard including the most beautiful and gigantic magnolia tree.