Is Conforming Neccessary to polarize STO?

[JustLikeYou]

My own experience in the concept of conformity in the context of polarizing is this:

At first, I imagined that being STO meant that I had to keep any desires to act in ways that would disturb others at bay. This included saying controversial things, practical jokes, sexual advances, and overtly illegal actions. The problem was that curbing my natural inclinations involved a hidden assumption that I had a set of deeper desires were somehow dirty or evil. I eventually discovered that maintaining a constant good-boy appearance had two drawbacks: 1. It was insincere and the more balanced people -- the ones I wanted to be around -- could read my insincerity immediately; 2. The desires I was attempting to keep at bay would manifest at strange moments as sudden uncontrollable urges -- urges that I didn't understand well because I didn't have enough experience with their manifestations to understand them. Essentially, attempting to comform to my perception of what was expected of me socially resulted in repression.

When I allowed myself the freedom to do whatever I wanted, I didn't suddenly become wildly flamboyant in my non-conformity -- as almostdone's Nazi example suggests. Awareness of consequences doesn't disappear when you allow yourself full freedom of expression. What happens is that instead of abiding by a strict rule about what is and isn't acceptable, you begin to weigh your desire for any given expression against the consequences of manifesting that thought as an action. Frankly, this is a much healthier approach in my experience, because it allows flexible border between the acceptable and the unacceptable. Murder is unacceptable -- not because it is wrong -- but because I don't want to kill anyone badly enough to accept the consequences of actually doing it. I don't want to kill anyone at all, but even if I did, the feeling would still need to be accepted as a part of who I am.

Moreover, I discovered that when I began to trust the things that I do and say without premeditation, without enforcing rules of appropriateness upon myself, I learned that the Spirit complex is capable of managing the appropriateness of my actions without my Mind complex constantly monitoring to make sure that I don't step out of bounds. There are plenty of times when I strayed out of bounds, but in each of these instances, someone let me know exactly what I did that was unappreciated. After contemplating and balancing my thoughts, actions, and the responses of others, the desire to do the things that were unappreciated fell away. This has proven to be a much more efficient way of "conforming" than any conscious effort to do so. It is not that I have any desire to conform -- because I don't -- it is that I want to learn how to be of greatest service to others, and this entails abiding by certain social norms. Because I have no desire to abide by consciously imposed rules, I simply trust myself to intuitively "feel out" what is appropriate, and whenever I misstep I make sure to learn from the mistake -- not by imposing a rule, but by appreciating the deep intentions and consequences that led to the misstep.

The magic of balancing is that you don't have to change your actions. When you become aware of everything in yourself and make sure to look at both sides of every experience, your desires to act will change in a way that seems like magic. You don't know what is going on until suddenly you have no desire to act according to your old ways. It's very striking.