the moment contains love - the power of now?

[Ankh]

It seems the layer of humanistic elements of rape and torture has blinded me for a moment from what actually exists.

They have caused the same in me, too, Adonai-1. I have ranted and railed against the One Infinite Creator for that, and against the greater hierarchy of powers (like the galactic logos). I have poured my heart out and have cried bitterly into the nights. I have gotten so depressed and frightened by them that I have lashed out as a demon, against people I could.

Thus, I am with you, there, brother, for I know what you mean and, probably, know against what you struggle

This was very intersting... I too had my share of catalysts, not much unlike Confused's...

My belief is that these experiences need to be seated within first, before the light and the love can be fully accepted, because otherwise, and this is my personal experience, the love and the light is just not accepted.

If there is such a darkness and such a suffering, how is one supposed to "believe" in love and light? How can love and light, being the almighty One Infinite Creator, allow such things to happen? These thoughts need work, and all experiences need to be seated before the opposite, the complete light and love can be accepted, in my experience and understanding...

It never worked for me to overcome something, or to ignore it, and that's why I had troubles with accepting most of the philosophies and spiritual beliefs in the past. Because in my thinking, they weren't honest. And since the self can not be honest regarding the dark aspects of this illusion, how can it be honest regarding the light and love? That was the main reason to why I in the past thought of love and light to be fake sometimes... Both the light coming from within me and the light that others sometimes shared, when they were trying to be "loving". It's not that they and I were or are actually fake in this regard per se, but the problem was that the darkness was not accepted yet, and I could sense it. So the light and the love were perceived to be fake... This was indeed intresting...