Admission: I can't sleep in my bed at night nor in complete darkness.

[Aureus]

Changing from the outside to the inside is one way to go about it.. But what is much safer and efficient is changing from the inside to the outside. It sounds like your higher centers are going too fast for the lower to follow. As always I will recommend meditation.

I'll quote a character I had in a dream last night: "When you meditate you notice the person you think you are is not the person you're carrying" Inside you're full of godly potential, which can be made real if only you give it a chance, not by forcing it, but by allowing it.