Cognitive Dissonance and Selective Compassion

[norral]

i think as humans we have a tendency to obsess about our perceived shortcomings. i mean to exaggerate we could jump on the train tracks in the path of an oncoming train pull a person to safety save ourselves and them and we would beat ourselves up because our actions make us late for an appointment ha ha. im saying we see and magnify our faults and overlook our good points. its just human nature imho. kindness and gentleness with ourselves is key. and all of this stuff is very much related to our upbringings. i remember i worked with a fellow and his kid was very smart. and he was saying he was going to let her have it when she scored like a 95 on a test instead of her usual 100. i thought to myself how cruel. and he seemed to relish it. lots of parents withold love from their kids no matter what they do. and then the kids spend their lives doing things to prove to their parents, as adults, that they do deserve to be loved. but the issue is not really the kids but the parents inability to show love to their children. so we are definitely imprinted as children bu our family enviornment and spend a lot of our adult lives trying to make parents happy who can never be made happy ha ha because our parents were screwed up ha ha. we just aint perfect that be the truth. what i look for in people is the thrust to serve , is it there, is there a desire to be of service. the other stuff is just that stuff, whether its their stuff my stuff we all we having stuff . so i guess we just have to love and embrace our stuff ha ha well be happier . well find others who have similar stuff to us and then well have friends ha ha and partners and we can work on these things together. each day i feel we get a little more concious and self aware just as this thread is a great thread right now because the spotlight has been turned on ourselves which is honestly the only thing we can really change. look at all the dysfunctional stuff in the news, all the result of surface living . what happened in south africa with the guy killing his girlfriend , surface living both on his part and her part. why did she stay with him obviously the dude has lots of issues but her issues matched his issues and voila we have a pair. and im not criticizing her but people stay in dysfunctional relationships all the time. something in it works for them. again i am not judging or being critical i am just pointing out the truth as i see it. which is covered by my own veil called norral. its not perfect either ha ha . but one thing i do have is a healthy sense of self. i dont care who loves or likes me it doesnt matter i loves and likes myself even on my worst days. its not about perfection for me, its more about direction. if the general direction of the soul is good that works for me . lots of people look "beautiful" but their direction is not appealing to me at all . and then there are people who dont look so "beautiful" and yet they have a wonderful direction. ill take a person who never goes to church and works to save animals anyday over someone who lives in church and doesnt take care of the animals they have just to make a point. its not the appearances that count its the direction. just my thoughts sorry for being so long winded here thats me chatty kathy ha ha.

norral