Past Lives

[Spaced]

I have had the opportunity to remember a few of my past lives on this planet, sometimes through meditation sometimes through the experience just taking over my whole awareness while I'm sitting here at my computer desk. It can be a jarring experience, I have learned a lot about myself but not all of it is good naturally .

I think sometimes its for the good that we dont know our past lives. If I get the chance by destiny than I take it but I won't cosciously seek for my past lives. Who knows what if you were some rapist or something? Additional catalyst I guess

It's funny that you use this as an example because if what I have seen in my past lives is true than my soul has being doing a lot of work with the issue of sexual control and dominance.

I've written about some of my past lives on this forum before, but maybe without making direct allusion to the central theme. With that somewhat foreboding introduction I can tell you some of what I remember. This might be a long story, I hope you all don't mind. One last disclaimer: I cannot say for certain that any of this is true as it could just as easily be the product of an over-active imagination, but either way I love a good story and these are the stories that resonate with me.

The first life that I can remember (chronologically speaking, in fact it was my most recent past life experience in terms of this lifetime) was in Atlantis, near the end. I had incarnated as a beautiful woman with the pre-incarnational intention of becoming a healer and a lightworker. However, those were chaotic times with wars the scale of which we can only begin to comprehend since the dropping of the atom bomb on Hiroshima shaking the globe. There was a group who sought power at all costs and when I came onto their radar they could not see my innocence and purity, they could only see my power. This group arranged for me to be kidnapped and then sexually and psychologically tortured with the intention of reprogramming me in the role of a living weapon. I can remember using crystal technology for a number of violent applications, the most interesting to me being the fact that lightsabers were at one time real and the most traumatic being a memory of me destroying an entire city with a beam of red light.

After that life I feel I spent a lot of time unincarnated. I think the next time I worked up the courage to incarnate was after witnessing the life of Christ from time/space. Just a gut feeling. This next life is the haziest and earliest past life memory back when I was a teenager and depressed and decided to download some past life regression .mp3. This memory consists of two things: me staring down at my sandalled feet and seeing a bunch of sand underneath them and this overwhelming sadness at the murder of my wife and kidnapping of my daughter by Roman soldiers.

I don't remember anything else about that life, but I know that at some point I decided I wanted to have a chance to emulate Christ's sacrifice in some way, and so my next life I was a devout French noble (I can't remember if I was a man or a woman in this one, whoever they were they were slightly androgynous I think) living at Versailles right in time for the French Revolution. The idea was that as I was brought up to the guillotine and I was gazing out at the crowd of peasants I would forgive them. Sounds nice right? Well instead I have this memory, which is my most vivid past life memory, of looking out at the crowd of peasants and thinking how filthy and ugly they were, how pitiful! And I was mad! I was so angry at them for what they were doing to me! Before the bag went over my head I locked eyes with one peasant, his few teeth brown, warts all over his face, eyes cloudy . . . I can still see that face . . . funny thing is I'm pretty sure he is my boss right now, a self-made millionaire, and I'm his lackey who sends out mail for him .

That anger must have been pretty fiery because I wasted no time in incarnating again, less than a century later in Japan during the Meiji Restoration. In this life I was a swordsman of some renown. I was feared for what I could accomplish on the battlefield, but I had a darker secret. This life is the hardest for me to remember, not because the memories are hard to access, but because they are very painful to process. In that life I was obsessed with beauty. If I found a woman met my high standards of beauty I had to have her, and I turned these women into literal possessions. I kept them in a dungeon and did terrible things to them. I rarely if ever fed them. When they died they were replaced. . . . . . I'm not sure if I should post this, I kind of want to cry now, but at the same time I feel this honesty is important. As Ra says:

"This game can only be won by those who lose their cards in the melting influence of love; can only be won by those who lay their pleasures, their limitations, their all upon the table face up and say inwardly: 'All, all of you players, each other-self, whatever your hand, I love you.'”

That incarnation ended with a trial and a verdict: in order for my family to retain their honer I had to commit ritual suicide, seppuku.

And that brings us to now. I've been told that before this incarnation which I currently enjoy that I was a Tibetan Buddhist monk by a member of my dad's psychic friends network. The concept resonates and I feel some Buddhist influences but no memories.

I feel the weight of my past lives and carry them with me. and the weight helps remind me of who I really am, and and also helps me to better understand those who follow darker paths I thank God that I haven't fallen into the same traps I did so many times before, I feel like I am finally on the right track.

I have more questions than responses.

What is the significance of knowing what you had been in your past life?

For me it has given me a sense of continuity, I never thought that I was telling a very important story with my life, but in the context of this additional narrative my life seems to have more meaning and a central character begins to resolve.

How does knowing your past life aid you in working through your distortions in this current life time?

They reveal a source for the distortion.

Why does it seem like people choose to 'remember' heroic and/or glamorous past lives (e.g., queens, kings, spiritual adepts) instead of more ordinary or non-glamorous ones (e.g., maid who emptied chamberpots, village idiots)? This is my personal bias around this topic. There appears to be more fascination around 'who I was in my past life' than actual work done around one's 'remembrance' of past life. It seems to me like we create our personal myths around what we believe we had been in our 'past life'. Could maybe use this personal myth to understand new things about oneself?

Interesting that you mention personal myth. I have become obsessed with mythology recently after dreaming about the Greek goddess Persephone. I have come to realize that the reason I have been drawn to this myth is that I can relate to all of the characters. I have been the victim Persephone, I have been the grieving parent Demeter and I have been the rapist Hades. In a way, this myth has become my own.