02-20-2010, 06:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2010, 11:56 PM by Peregrinus.)
A final few thoughts then.
An open door policy is alright, but you must set up clearly defined boundaries and the result of crossing a boundary. If it is crossed, the consequence must be met. Failure to carry through with a consequence is a failure to be of any further help to the addict, because the addict will simply use it as a foot in the door to begin manipulation.
Having any sort of relationship with an addict is a huge commitment, and many times it is too much for even family members to take. Many, such as I, had to discontinue the relationship.
My addict is still an addict despite all I did to try and help her. As I explain to people, addiction is the only thing stronger than the motherly instinct, and it is very often stronger than the will to survive. If one understands that, they understand what little chance they have of changing the addict; none.
Yet another perspective. Do you have any habits you would like to change? Ok, change it now. There, wasn't that easy? or not?
A habit begins forming after a repetition of six times doing the same thing, and from then on only becomes stronger. How many times has that addict relied on drugs? How many times will it take to beat it? It takes a lifetime, if you ask one that has cleaned up. They are never over it. The most they can hope to achieve is staying clean, for the urge will always remain. It take a lifelong commitment on their part.
As is said. An addict will walk a hundred miles to get a fix. How far will they walk to stay clean?
An open door policy is alright, but you must set up clearly defined boundaries and the result of crossing a boundary. If it is crossed, the consequence must be met. Failure to carry through with a consequence is a failure to be of any further help to the addict, because the addict will simply use it as a foot in the door to begin manipulation.
Having any sort of relationship with an addict is a huge commitment, and many times it is too much for even family members to take. Many, such as I, had to discontinue the relationship.
My addict is still an addict despite all I did to try and help her. As I explain to people, addiction is the only thing stronger than the motherly instinct, and it is very often stronger than the will to survive. If one understands that, they understand what little chance they have of changing the addict; none.
Yet another perspective. Do you have any habits you would like to change? Ok, change it now. There, wasn't that easy? or not?
A habit begins forming after a repetition of six times doing the same thing, and from then on only becomes stronger. How many times has that addict relied on drugs? How many times will it take to beat it? It takes a lifetime, if you ask one that has cleaned up. They are never over it. The most they can hope to achieve is staying clean, for the urge will always remain. It take a lifelong commitment on their part.
As is said. An addict will walk a hundred miles to get a fix. How far will they walk to stay clean?