Seeking help - Negative entity taken residence in my field

[Cyan]

Hey everyone

Hi old friend.

Just a warning, the very real details of this story can be a little shocking due to their relation to sexuality and drug use. However, this is my genuine life experience, and the catalyst I've encountered is as it is and much be spoken about truthfully and honestly as it is.

Thank you for the warning.

Also a request... Of course I give permission to any of you to view/feel what my energy field is like, but PLEASE do not perform any sort of action (even healing) without my permission. Thank you for this respect.

I try my best to never ever interact with anyone unless given specific prior, and usually written, permission to that affect.

Even by reading your field I am in a minor way altering it (cant read being entirely passive as you are certainly aware) but moving anything is not an option for now. I noticed the entity you mentioned immediately upon scanning.

This is a catalyst that has been with me since February of this year, and continues to persist with me despite many life changes and personal transformations since then. Every technique and attempt to work with the catalyst has failed to bring resolution to the situation, and I'm totally at the end of my rope here. I'm asking for help from you all now... Attempting to tap into the massive storehouse of wisdom and love that Bring4th is home to. Details below...

Roughly the same time That I awakened, roughly in the same way.

It is something you cant "work with". Its a person.

You created, what amounts to, a "prostitute golem".

My previous teacher warned me strongly and many times against creating golems of any kind.

They are very difficult to dismantle and usually require group effort.

The story he told me was of a guardian golem thought form that someone he knew created to guard their safe and then people distances away started getting really weird feelings and all kind sof weird stuff started to go on and then they had to do a real group effort to get rid of it.

But, in my opinion. You created a person, live with it .

This person, right now, is only filled with the red ray stuff that you sent at it, the dark channelings and the various other things you did. Which will make it very defensive and reprodusive.

I channeled that energy into my design for a Dragon body. That way it can have a safe, enjoyable, entirely green (runs on solar) body of its own, that it can use to explore this illusion we share.

You cant have a living creature (dragon) without having a soul (channeled group). You have an extra soul now, do something funky with it is what I recommend. You used it for sex and now its going "waa, you dont want me around, anymore, meanine!" Essentially.

Dont think "evil bad demonic entity" think "very very upset little girl/boy depending on which way you thought of it as an entity that you gave birth to thats now your responsibility. Be a man, live up to what you did " The entity emotional age maybe as little as 1-3 years while intellectually as much as eons or more.

Thats just based on a look on what you described ofcourse, i would have to see you and the stuff in detail. But I did get a random picture from my guides that had a mushroom, your name, and an eye on top of it that i sent to you over PM. If memory serves.

When they draw (my guides) I simply asked for "something nice for someone on B4" and thats the picture I got, if you forgot it I'll reupload and show, it may be relevant as it happened this year and my guides very rarely give out names in their works. Who knows.

In February, I became involved in a channeling group which attempted to channel a known negative entity. I would never ever do such a thing now, but at the time I sincerely believed I was offering my light and love in the best way to be of service. The point of the contact was to ask questions about spiritual evolution and have them answered. There was no power seeking or anything inherently negative about our motivations with creating this contact. But upon looking back on it, I can see that it was a working of mixed orientation - it wasn't entirely service to others because of the conditions and limitations we placed on it.

I didnt have a known name for my group (just someone who is from 4th D negative with no specific naming other than that its someone Ra / Q'uo thinks is "Okay to be reading b4). I had very little limitations (I accepted almost everything happening, including at one point language that i would not EVER accept from me and waving meat cutting scissors around showing how easy it would be for me to die). Both of which are true, I dont know any entities real names anyway, and any negative entity could jsut walk up to me randomly on the street and shoot me.

What I wanted in my search wasnt specifically answers, but more along the "sheer presence" so that i could just feel my way around their field. They were happy to oblidge and we did several initiations and healings and various other things on one another. Was interesting working with a bodied 4th D negative on healing. But it did burn through my "sto" side energy reserves to a bare bones minimum very quickly. So, all things have payments. They left when I asked and while they still keep a tap on me telepathically (if i think strongly about them, one of the group will call me) and sometimes being very straightforward and even rude to point out that I can see through the mask/veil.

But beyond that, they are a blast to work with, difficult as hell as people but they are a blast. Show a weakness and they'll drain you empty but they'll be glad to show you how they did it if you want to try to prevent them. After a while, you get really good at blocking any kind of greeting without magical exterior works (pentas and such).

All in all. You get what you summon, you summoned a 5th density that obliged (you created a life for it within the parameters of your illusion but no further) and now that its there, its finding that its supremely narrowed by the parameters of your illusion and focused mostly in sexual ways.

How would you feel?

Essentially you are "its" parent. Take it from there.

But if it really is a high level neggie. You'll be in for the ride of a lifetime, buckle down. I'm somewhere between designing my own UFO and building a Dragon body for the souls /soul that i managed to spawn. Though I ofcourse dont think about it in those terms specifically but that's the overall tone of it.

You sign a contract for a ride, you get a ride.

Anyway, two of us in the group were greeted in different ways during the channeling, of course. There was one particular session in which our negative contact and the beings who were doing the greeting discovered one particularly effective way to begin to manipulate me. They became aware of distortions regarding my sexuality and have played on those ever since.

*hugs* been there bro, been there. The less said about my sexuality in terms of how manipulatble it has been, the better.

I say "they" because it was the negative contact which ordered one of the beings underneath him to begin to manipulate me in that way. I don't remember the specifics of what happened right at the beginning, but I'll attempt to share as much as I remember. The channeling group ceased activity shortly after, not because of the greetings but because the questioning and answering had reached its resolution.

You order your hand to move, or you move your hand.

Its not that its ordering the minions to do work, its that it is its minions doing the work. But what "it" is is an extrnalized way of looking at the self from the area of "wisdom, negative, sexuality, repression". How about instead of thinking it in terms of powerstructures and such, try to think about it in terms of the life you are creating/spawning and its purpose. What place are you pegging for this entity in your heart/story. The evil guy you channeled that put up a fight but you won and went "wohoo" or The evil spirit that I channeled but later learned was just a expression of my self love to myself and it taught me some hard lessons and went away on its own and we both still have love for each other in our hearts. I wont summon him again until i'm ready to talk with him though.

Someone that made me open my eyes wider than I thought was possible.

After the group ceased the contact, the greetings became particularly worse for me. Now at this point, I wasn't personally aware of anything that was going on - I wasn't even aware that I was being greeted by something outside of me due to the subtlety of the manipulation, so there was no way I could draw a correlation between it and the channeling group. I figured all that out much later. And even later after that I discovered the nature of my "companion".

For 4-5 months after my channeling experience. Everyone I talked with or perceived seemed to be talking to me without any kind of veil or awareness of our separation.

Since that cant realistically be true, I knew for 4-5 months straight that while i perceive them to be talking to me without the veil, they are actually doing something entirely else in their own opinion and if i dont find my own opinion of looking at their opinion, i'll be lost.

So that while i see them, i dont see them, and after enough of studying this phenomena I understood where STS is actually coming from and what STO is in reality.

Its a very hard lesson, but one i recommend learning. And its best learned in company of STS because their interest is keeping you from... well... going nuts and showing bad on their record. STO doesnt believe, in general, that stuff like "death" and such are important, not for real anyway. STS does. So, when you really untangle stuff, its near certain you'll have use of a STS entity.

Mostly because if you call for them, their mocking /laughing at is kind of like the other side of the angelic choir that to us sounds like "singing praise from heaven"

I could go into more details about the workings of the inner mind and how it can be used to meld with "demons" and how that maybe useful here. But. I feel it is inappropriate to share here in more depth.

I hope I have been able to help thus far.

At that time, I was smoking a lot of marijuana, usually on a daily basis. I am already very energetically sensitive so when I smoke, it opens me up greatly. What began to occur in regards to the specifics of the greeting is that while being high, I became aware of what I suppose I could call a dark other-self in/on/around me. This intelligence would interact with me in a sexual fashion while I was engaged in.... uhhhh... shall we say, normal automatic self-sexual behavior.

Interact with, or trying to help in what you were already doing.

Have you tried to do anything super creative as of late, like do a big painting, and try to focus the "sts" entity you see into guiding "your hand" but only "your hand" so it may draw what it likes. Or, better yet, ask for a bodied version that says some key words that will let you know it sfrom the same soc-mem. And then get high and just relax and let your field go super smooth and then let the "sts" person draw on that painting.

You be the anchor thats shining the love in the situation, they be the body that is describing your love in the situation.

Art takes all types.

I have always been heavily biased towards sexuality of the mind, as opposed to body or spirit. The mind is where my heart, or at least my current interest, of my sexuality lies. The manipulation began during periods while I was high and exploring my own sexuality. This intelligence interacted with my thoughts by stimulating my energy body and physical body in a sexual manner wherever I wished it to be. I could feel sexual sensations in my throat, hands, or anywhere and everywhere and however specific way I requested of this subtle intelligence. It didn't feel like a separate being.

It most likely is, in the way you are looking, a separate being, but its separation is, far as I can tell, closer to a parent/child kind of separation than a "mate/partner" or "possessive/owning". Based on the story, what i've had, and all the stuff i've observed, its closer to a supremely curious "heres a toy from self to self" that you are scared at, which is quite alright, because it is usually very scary to contact STS'rs.

This was actually a great service to me because through this, and through the unasked-for manipulation of my energy body later on, I was able to gain intimate and detailed awareness of my energy body that I would have probably never otherwise gained. i.e. I know where almost all of my energy channels/lines terminate, and know which energy channels/lines affect which portions of at least the lower energy centers.

Yeah, imagine how much they have learned of themselves and how much they value you now because of it, and how much love they are sending to you to keep that link going.

They are just waiting what you do now, that the link is there. Do you freak out and cut it or do you go "oh sweet jesus, this means I can walk into a group of STO channelers and flawlessly channel a STS entity and still be STO myself... This has opportunities...." For example. Which would be close to my path at the moment.

So on it went for a short time like that. Eventually this intelligence began slightly changing the game it was playing. It began to move into sexuality of the mind, playing on my distortions there. It slowly but surely unequivocally set up its dominance over my sexual function. At the time, my distortions were in such a way as to allow this due to curiosity combined with the feeling of helplessness - that I couldn't do anything to change it. When what seemed like some kind of intelligence that had split off from myself in the first place began to play power and dominance games with my sexuality, I was a little disturbed and confused, but also sickly curious as to how fun playing on the playground of the sexuality of the mind could become.

That would be the logical outcome of energy of sexual nature directed at the creature you created.

It attempted to show its dominance over me by activating/stimulating me sexually at inappropriate times, and by otherwise forcing sexuality onto me or dictating the whens and hows my sexual function. This only continued on because of my own distortions in that area, which mentally allowed this to happen. I didn't know how to respond to this, being unsure if it was even psychic greeting. My reactions ranged from sending love to seeing it as self to seeing it as other than self/from outside of my soul stream to seeing it as higher self... My responses ran the gamut from frustration and anger to sending love and complete acceptance to forgiveness to asking for all kinds of aid from all positive sources. Nothing worked because I needed to learn the lesson.

Who says you needed to, and not that you wanted to? May sound like a small point in the post but still, we feel it has some merit .

It wasn't until probably around two months ago that the lightning struck the tower, archetypically speaking. I suddenly realized that I didn't deserve this kind of treatment! It was that pre-conceived notion that was keeping me illusioned and prone to the manipulation and domination. I was asking for it on some level. I finally strengthened my orange ray and said "Enough. I am the Creator and I deserve love." When I learned this powerful lesson of self love and self respect, the catalyst didn't go away... it just changed a little.

I was at a winter party last year, when I was in the highest point in my channeling, and I was told so many times that I deserve love and was being told that I can accept it, from the same kind of semi-STS intelligences that i interacted with. And I beamed out a thought that "If there is a chick like Rinoa, from a physical and emotional/psychological standpoint, that would like really like me/my jokes on a personal level, I'll take your argument about love seriously."

Same evening, I ran into a girl in Rinoa clothing that did the plenum style *beep* jokes and we had a great time laughing and what not.

That changed me and made me really consider my thoughts about sexuality and love. My answer was, essentially, to throw myself at the possibility that if this is now possible, and has always been possible, then I may be wrong in my STO orientation and that STS may indeed be the answer. So i threw myself down that path as hard as I could, with the understanding that since STS just wants power, it wants to grant you as much as you are willing to take, so its a matter of just taking as much as is offered. Turns out I was right, and i refused all power.

That threw my STS intelligence for a loop and its not sure what to do now.

So, its resorted to what I said earlier, helping me with art and art related works. Seems like an equitable understanding. If I have a project i need help with in a specific way, i contact them. If i have a project that requires a different way, i contact someone else.

Sounds pretty simple, having Orion and Q'uo next to each other on speed dial. Actuality is that its never that easy and I go through isnane amounts of trouble every few months to keep my psyche in order.

But. If you dont get people in the streets talking to you in Orion randomly referring to your internal possessions. You're doing super well.

There was no reason for this entity to keep up its charade as my sexual master once I healed my orange ray. It has dropped all sexual games. (Although it still gives me unwanted activation when I attempt to remove the energy link between it and me. It does this when re-establishing the connection to show dominance.) And it moved on to giving me fearful dreams and drawing energy from me like a vampire.

Hmm...

Vampire = Baby

Fearful dreams = Ask a random parent about this.

Re-establishing the connection = Tantrums at parent leaving.

Sexual master = Having to give parent away to parents proper lover, Etc,

It was through these dreams that I was able to ascertain the nature of this being, or so I believe. I have come to the conclusion that it is a 4th density negative "Grey" being, affiliated with the Orion empire.

I would concur, based on observations, but would point out that it is infintely likely that the entity sees you as a Grey too. (Lacking definition of real nature that is not predictable)

The way that it has been affecting my energy body from the very beginning has been largely unchanged, except the sexual stuff. I feel it place non-physical "devices" or other uncomfortable energy structures in or around my lower rays, especially orange. It also sometimes places them around my head/shoulders, and fingers and toes. It largely affects the left side of my energy body. It likes to make both my kidneys, but especially my left one, very tight and painful and uncomfortable - like placing much dense energy into them.

This is, far as I can tell, a very common STS contact side effect. Reality is that most peoples bodies hurt at all times, but they block it out. STS makes you clearer as you are "afraid" to be hurt, you notice what is already hurting much much easier.

On that note, i recommend a daily dose of sorbet ice cream. Why? Because its darn delicious =)

These devices and connections always serve to do one of two things. Either they block and disrupt the free flow of energy through my energy body, or they siphon my energy away and give it to him. Sometimes I can feel him around the left side of my head and shoulders. I think this is where he is within my field. I feel uncomfortable static-like sensations/sparkles that wash in waves over the left side of my face and head when he makes his presence known. These waves disrupt thought processes, but they're the least uncomfortable energetic sensation out of everything.

High serotonin causes sparkles.

Also rapid withdrawal from SSRI's and/or as well as high quantity of weed use will cause sparks and a lot of the stuff you describe.

Almost always when STS its left side face and when STO is right side, the less you know about the names and specifics the better, in general, because if you simply start to shun all STS, you end up in a lot of trouble. So knowing when its this guy or that guy may not be a good idea. Better to think of it as a principle of STS showing stuff

Pretty much since the beginning, but especially so lately, he has an energy cord connected to my orange ray that sucks from me and gives to him. It feels like my orange ray is ruptured down the middle and there is an uncomfortable sucking feeling. The closest that any of these sensations come to the physical is sharp muscle pain. When they are in the energetic realm, they are extremely uncomfortable and painful in their own way.

I have a similar tear down my solar plexus, but usally only when I'm super tense about fear or feeling threathened.

...

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These sensations are all near-constant, increasing and decreasing in intensity as days go by. I don't remember what it feels like to have a clean and clear energy body. This entity has been attached to me and manipulating me for so long. And I have tried everything from love to unity to anger to calling upon every metaphysical source for help. Nothing works to sever the link between me and this entity. Every time I remove the energy cord, he puts it back. Every time I remove the devices, they eventually get put back. Each instance of attempting to accept this entity, to clear my energy body, to love it as the Creator, turns into a power struggle, a tug of war. It is the most persistent and stubborn being I have ever encountered, and it really doesn't want to let go of me. I can accept the situation in love, but I "cannot, on equal footing, allow itself to be manipulated in order to remain purely positive". I don't know what to do.

Oh maan, to have a clean and pure field for a day

If you dont know what to do, accept it, and do nothing or start doing something else.

My friend who is in the STS said;

"How does a black hole stop being a black hole, by doing something"
My STS friends stated goal is to get everyone to stop, look around, and notice they are already in paradise.

One saying they have is "I'm not an evil guy, but my evil plan is to make everyone else in the world happy"

Of course I have used all advice from the Ra material regarding psychic greeting. Nothing provides a solution.

What if you think of it this way. Janus-Ra and Janus-*

=)

=(

I want to share this experience here for two reasons. One, just speaking about it to a group of people brings the awareness of this issue out of the orange ray and into the yellow ray. Two, I'm at my wit's end in dealing with this catalyst and I'm calling out for help. This catalyst has been like an impassable brick wall for me.

I too find this topic interesting thus my lengthy response and as it is borderline interest to me, I do look forward to any replies as well.

Speaking about demonic stuff is always the most difficult, especially since you know there is only the self. So, how to truly talk

Thanks for reading such a long post... I love you all!

You too. Hope you come to good conclusions.