12-25-2012, 02:08 PM
I've had a number of serious considerations in my life although I don't think I can say I may any deliberate attempts, although I would often reason with myself in a way that I would see suicide as more reasonable than continuing to exist and hurt people and myself. It wasn't until last year that I started to dissolve the bonds with the many demons I had allowed to take over my conscious mind, wanting their power, even knowing the price.
Realizing the Light, as all things, everywhere, and understanding it to be the multi-dimensional thought which gives rise to all of my perceptions, including the demons, my health, my energy. I had always known this, it was nothing new to me, I was always aware since the beginning of this body about my true nature. However, my view, of course, was limited and obscured by the nature of the mind/body/spirit complex, as some know it as, in that the unfoldment of my consciousness was based on a program of processing that can only happen through the occurences within space-time, thus you could say the seed was beginning to grow, and at a point the plant will penetrate the surface of the dirt, and then grow in to greater maturity. For me, between last year and this year has been the period of my breaking through, the year I was 22, which is also my Life Path number interestingly.
Now, I have realized the greater Light within me, and am losing more and more any desire to dwell in darkness, or the space of illusory separation. Well, more that the desire has become something new, and my relationship with the Dark within myself has become more clear and defined. I understand now that even though I am unified as One, I am still consisted of Many, and all the different aspects of my consciousness have inter-relationships within my consciousness. I, as the Creator, the I Am that I Am, choose what is what. Through the power of the Adam Kadmon I am able to so "name" whatever part as I choose and thus deduce, or within my consciousness, determine, such as through observation, its nature, form and being.
Realizing the Light, as all things, everywhere, and understanding it to be the multi-dimensional thought which gives rise to all of my perceptions, including the demons, my health, my energy. I had always known this, it was nothing new to me, I was always aware since the beginning of this body about my true nature. However, my view, of course, was limited and obscured by the nature of the mind/body/spirit complex, as some know it as, in that the unfoldment of my consciousness was based on a program of processing that can only happen through the occurences within space-time, thus you could say the seed was beginning to grow, and at a point the plant will penetrate the surface of the dirt, and then grow in to greater maturity. For me, between last year and this year has been the period of my breaking through, the year I was 22, which is also my Life Path number interestingly.
Now, I have realized the greater Light within me, and am losing more and more any desire to dwell in darkness, or the space of illusory separation. Well, more that the desire has become something new, and my relationship with the Dark within myself has become more clear and defined. I understand now that even though I am unified as One, I am still consisted of Many, and all the different aspects of my consciousness have inter-relationships within my consciousness. I, as the Creator, the I Am that I Am, choose what is what. Through the power of the Adam Kadmon I am able to so "name" whatever part as I choose and thus deduce, or within my consciousness, determine, such as through observation, its nature, form and being.
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