How I Really Feel

[Lycen]

I feel the same as Tenet and share many of the same life experiences.
And I'm just so sick and tired of my life and being "me", my human, which is not me, not the real spiritual me, I'm so out of control of my own human, in fact I more or less hate it/myself, I can find love for every other human in the world if I reach far enough, but not my own, its like there is a deep command in my subconscious that I may not feel any positive feelings towards myself, but I don't know where this command came from or how to get rid of it.

All of the things I want are not even possible in this world. I just want to die and go home.

Sorry if I am intruding in this thread, most of you probably don't remember me from my older posts as I haven't been here in some time and I wasn't that active to being with except as a lurker...but, well, I think my post is relevant to the subject of the title

Infinity is, where is you're hurry? This existence but a blink of an eye, you are here for a reason. Find/remember it and live it

I love you, all is well, you are loved

EDIT:

how on earth am I supposed to remember things I decided before I came here?

What the head forgets the heart knows. Live as you feel is right and you will know.