12-17-2012, 01:56 PM
I have never understood the world in which we live. Even during my teenage angst years, something never felt right. The way people obsessed over looks, making fun of others, physically harming each other, etc. I have never even been in a situation where a fight was imminent. I was always cool with every clique though I never understood the need for cliques.
As I grew older, the need for material items faded as I realized they did nothing but enable the urge for more and more with no apparent satisfaction due to ever increasing wants and desires. Soon after, during a particularly rough period of my life, through the suffering I embraced my love of nature. The grass on the side of the road became more flowing. The Sandhill cranes became more beautiful and the clouds. Oh the clouds became heavenly in all their innumerable shapes, sizes, and colors depending upon the time of day.
Fast forward some to the time of my true awakening when I found the LOO which, for the most part, answered the questions I didn't know I was searching for yet were so familiar once discovered. Though I have had a difficult time balancing my intellect coming from a scientific background and embracing faith when I was neither raised with any nor studied any before, I have come to see that the life I was living by always being myself, always asking why and why not to the status quo, and always yearning for a better world free from the constraints of conforming, was the life truly free. Free from the illusion that so many are imprisoned by. Free to make my decisions based upon how I feel is right rather than what others feel is right. To live morally and in respect of others for others. I have always taken an issue with lying even as a child.
I'm not sure where all of this is going but I am envious of those who have such a connection as what has been posted here. Though I'm a relative newbie to spirituality, I have come to finally figure out a purpose in this illusion by finding the love where I have for so long shunned and shut down. I highly doubt I will make this harves though maybe that's yet another aspect of the work that I need t accomplish which is self worth though I do consider myself a much more honest and pure person than most of those other selves I meet on a day to day basis.
I just wanted to thank you all for showing me what I can become
As I grew older, the need for material items faded as I realized they did nothing but enable the urge for more and more with no apparent satisfaction due to ever increasing wants and desires. Soon after, during a particularly rough period of my life, through the suffering I embraced my love of nature. The grass on the side of the road became more flowing. The Sandhill cranes became more beautiful and the clouds. Oh the clouds became heavenly in all their innumerable shapes, sizes, and colors depending upon the time of day.
Fast forward some to the time of my true awakening when I found the LOO which, for the most part, answered the questions I didn't know I was searching for yet were so familiar once discovered. Though I have had a difficult time balancing my intellect coming from a scientific background and embracing faith when I was neither raised with any nor studied any before, I have come to see that the life I was living by always being myself, always asking why and why not to the status quo, and always yearning for a better world free from the constraints of conforming, was the life truly free. Free from the illusion that so many are imprisoned by. Free to make my decisions based upon how I feel is right rather than what others feel is right. To live morally and in respect of others for others. I have always taken an issue with lying even as a child.
I'm not sure where all of this is going but I am envious of those who have such a connection as what has been posted here. Though I'm a relative newbie to spirituality, I have come to finally figure out a purpose in this illusion by finding the love where I have for so long shunned and shut down. I highly doubt I will make this harves though maybe that's yet another aspect of the work that I need t accomplish which is self worth though I do consider myself a much more honest and pure person than most of those other selves I meet on a day to day basis.
I just wanted to thank you all for showing me what I can become
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