12-05-2012, 02:58 PM
What a beautiful story norrel, thank you for sharing that.
I remember feeling disconnected and alone in the world... and the world seemed contrary to my implicit understanding of 'how things ought to be' (compassionate, inclusive, sharing, kindness, caring, cooperative, warm, accepting, etc.). This led me to a dark place of pain and despair... anger, too, but I hid my anger by expressing it as sadness as I felt anger was terrifying and destructive. And when I focused on this disconnection and emotions, my inner guidance would remind me that it's OK... this is part of learning and growing. I really believe that I programmed my inner guidance to 'kick in' during these dark times... a sort of reminder from the 'future' (from our perspective in 3D).
When I was in 5th grade, I had an intense experience around rejection (and this was difficult as I was just starting to explore my extroverted side, being a very shy person). I thought there was no bigger pain than being alone and feeling rejected by family and friends bc I was not 'wired' the same way they were. I cried for about 2-3 days and suddenly I heard my inner guidance... it said something like, take what your friends say about you as feedback and take only those things that you honestly feel is true. They are your teachers, too. So I'm holding this letter that my friends wrote to me (full of painful things on it) and re-read it about 3 times. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for my 'teachers' for this lesson of understanding/acceptance.
I remember saying this in my mind to my friends - thank you for helping me improve myself. I forgive each of you. I can feel your pains, and understand that what you wrote about me is something you're struggling with too. I wish you all well... That was my first experience in forgiveness and the results were pretty stunning!
My sadness and anger did not cease completely, of course... it's a lifetime adventure of healing and growing. There is such importance in honoring and caring for emotions by holding it as if holding a wounded animal/person, and directing love/forgiveness to it. To just let it be, and let inner guidance flow. Why would we be here if we programmed our lives with what we think of as 'failure' or 'hopelessness'? The meaning of experiences may be reframed into something positive/growth-oriented at all times.
I remember feeling disconnected and alone in the world... and the world seemed contrary to my implicit understanding of 'how things ought to be' (compassionate, inclusive, sharing, kindness, caring, cooperative, warm, accepting, etc.). This led me to a dark place of pain and despair... anger, too, but I hid my anger by expressing it as sadness as I felt anger was terrifying and destructive. And when I focused on this disconnection and emotions, my inner guidance would remind me that it's OK... this is part of learning and growing. I really believe that I programmed my inner guidance to 'kick in' during these dark times... a sort of reminder from the 'future' (from our perspective in 3D).
When I was in 5th grade, I had an intense experience around rejection (and this was difficult as I was just starting to explore my extroverted side, being a very shy person). I thought there was no bigger pain than being alone and feeling rejected by family and friends bc I was not 'wired' the same way they were. I cried for about 2-3 days and suddenly I heard my inner guidance... it said something like, take what your friends say about you as feedback and take only those things that you honestly feel is true. They are your teachers, too. So I'm holding this letter that my friends wrote to me (full of painful things on it) and re-read it about 3 times. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for my 'teachers' for this lesson of understanding/acceptance.
I remember saying this in my mind to my friends - thank you for helping me improve myself. I forgive each of you. I can feel your pains, and understand that what you wrote about me is something you're struggling with too. I wish you all well... That was my first experience in forgiveness and the results were pretty stunning!
My sadness and anger did not cease completely, of course... it's a lifetime adventure of healing and growing. There is such importance in honoring and caring for emotions by holding it as if holding a wounded animal/person, and directing love/forgiveness to it. To just let it be, and let inner guidance flow. Why would we be here if we programmed our lives with what we think of as 'failure' or 'hopelessness'? The meaning of experiences may be reframed into something positive/growth-oriented at all times.
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