How do you learn from/understand catalyst when it doesn't make any sense?

[AnthroHeart]

Maybe to teach me about obsession and attachment.

Maybe you have this internal switch that when pushed, it starts reminding you of some 'morality' stuff that isn't working for you. Where did you learn that these obsessions and attachments were disgusting? That sounds like more your socialized sense of morality. Are you struggling with acceptance of that part of yourself that obsessed/attached to things, and that part of you that feels this is disgusting/bad?

I don't have problems accepting myself. I just know that if my fantasies were to materialize I'd probably vomit. That's not saying much since even energy coming in can make me do that.