The One Infinite Creator becoming aware

[Aaron]

I'm not experiencing loneliness catalyst.
Frustration that I'm not learning my lessons,
and that I might not graduate.
But then that's selfish thinking and sts.

Gemini, I know you didn't ask for my help in this situation, so please forgive me and dismiss anything in this post that makes you feel not quite right, or that doesn't resonate with you.

Being concerned about your own wellbeing is not selfish... And it's definitely not self service to be frustrated with or otherwise non-accepting of yourself. Self service is a whole other thing entirely. It seems like you're judging yourself pretty harshly. If you can't accept yourself as you are (already perfect), then how can you begin to have a clear view of your progress regarding lessons?

It was very difficult for me to learn orange ray lessons of self love and self acceptance, and I'm still learning them. But I know that the self, which is already perfect, absolutely must be accepted as it is with no question. Then, one can begin to love and appreciate one's self, which is also absolutely necessary in order to spread that love and appreciation outwards to others. Then, that personal power which is seated in the orange ray, which can be quite frightening, is tempered by and moved through channels of green ray love.

This is the quote about the perfect self:

52.7 Questioner: Am I correct, then, in assuming that discipline of the personality, knowledge of self, and control in strengthening of the will would be what any fifth-density entity would see as those things of importance?
Ra: I am Ra. In actuality these things are of importance in third through early seventh densities. The only correction in nuance that we would make is your use of the word, control. It is paramount that it be understood that it is not desirable or helpful to the growth of the understanding, may we say, of an entity by itself to control thought processes or impulses except where they may result in actions not consonant with the Law of One. Control may seem to be a short-cut to discipline, peace, and illumination. However, this very control potentiates and necessitates the further incarnative experience in order to balance this control or repression of that self which is perfect.