11-03-2012, 06:04 PM
I say confront, as simply appear before him, rather than with rage and blame. I assume that you haven't had dialogue with him in a long time, so just go and say, "Hi Granddad." After that, don't say much. He may stay quiet out of fear of strong words, but he may try to draw conversation from you to learn of your memories and feelings.
If he does probe a little, keep answers simple, but smile some. If he eventually gets around to asking if you remember things when you were little, say, "Oh yeah, I remember it all right." Now he may change the subject or he may ask if you can forgive him. If so, smile and ask, "Well, do you want me to?" If he says yes, then try to say that you do. If you can't say that, say "I wish!"
You have all the power while he is weak and dying. Is that how he sees it, or is he still attempting to be the strong alpha male? If the latter, and it's clear, then you can just say, "I'll be going now. Good luck."
Your goal while in his company, IMO, is first to assist him with his transition and second to forgive. Later if necessary, keep working on your forgiveness because you will be oh so better for it! Remember that he and you are (The) One.
If he does probe a little, keep answers simple, but smile some. If he eventually gets around to asking if you remember things when you were little, say, "Oh yeah, I remember it all right." Now he may change the subject or he may ask if you can forgive him. If so, smile and ask, "Well, do you want me to?" If he says yes, then try to say that you do. If you can't say that, say "I wish!"
You have all the power while he is weak and dying. Is that how he sees it, or is he still attempting to be the strong alpha male? If the latter, and it's clear, then you can just say, "I'll be going now. Good luck."
Your goal while in his company, IMO, is first to assist him with his transition and second to forgive. Later if necessary, keep working on your forgiveness because you will be oh so better for it! Remember that he and you are (The) One.