*trigger* beware need advice

[Charles]

Confused said:

Update on my previous post: Hi, just an update on my previous post. I had an open discussion with my mother and apologized clearly for all the mistakes I did. She said she forgives me and asked me only to construct a wall so that the past does not keep hampering and downgrading my present and my future. Now, the task is not to relapse, ever. At times, I feel sad that the abused need to be under the 'mercy' of the abusers, since they are usually more 'powerful' within a given context. In my case, I am going to make sure that I am going to stay firm on my commitment of honoring and respecting my mother, as a way of alleviating my karma over the way I have behaved with her so far. Thanks for opening this thread and discussing such a painful matter. It helps. It really is quite a distance from just talking the talk and walking the walk.

Wonderful good. Delighted that you are now able to see your behaviors as both wrong and correctable. I wish you and your mother well.

But I question this "wall."

When under siege, to protect myself, I constructed a wall of fire around myself. At one point, while ascertaining that my protective fire wall was strong enough, I saw one of my enemies (family, for me this was family), walk into the wall of fire and burn. I was shocked and upset by that.

I doubt that this was a curse, because I thought and felt no such intension. I don't know if this was precognition, because I've no way of contacting any once upon a time "family," to find out.

But I changed my wall of fire into a wall of Light. A wall can constrict you. Fire can harm you. A wall of Light feels perfect, only good may pass, either within or without. Only good.

I strongly suggest replacing this wall with a Light barrier instead. Works best for me. And there is no shortage you know, the Light is infinite.