*trigger* beware need advice

[Charles]

Forgiving does not mean that what was done is okay.

Forgiving involves an understanding of your grandfather's twisted mind illness. Maybe he couldn't help himself, maybe he's a sociopath.

I don't know, but sometimes such an illness has a physically imbalanced cause, and sometimes the cause is terrible emotional pain as a child.

So either because he can't help it, or because he needs to protect himself from further hurt, he may have created his own universe where only he matters.

Charming sociopaths never really give a damn about others feelings. They need a way to express hostility through domination, and abusing a child would be a release.

Lying is very easy for them, while shame or embarrassment may be impossible. In their universe they are powerful and always right, but perhaps somewhere in that twisted mind, is an unrecognized spark that maybe their universe isn't true . . . and this would create rage and fury. A child victim would release such tension. And there would be zero thought or concern for the human heart devastation they leave behind.

I don't know this, I don't know your grandfather. Sociopath is only one of many ways to understand.

But I did need to forgive and release my mother, and understanding her weaknesses and her needs, helped me get there. It may help you too.

And there is also, always, a soul contract question. Did I require (my case no where near as harsh as yours) being betrayed and lied about? Did I require loosing the entire rest of my family? Well, maybe.

Maybe this soul lesson has helped me stand on my own? Combatting the low self esteem she caused took a very long time, but was a needed part of the process? Has this helped me realize my inner strength?

I am no longer a victim, I am now a survivor. I am no longer terrified, I am now living easier. Forgiving is a wonderful release, and is really an entirely selfish act. Forgiving will cleanse your karma with him. It will free you, and he never need know.

I agree with Monica:
My philosophy is: If parents ruined the first part of our lives, why let them ruin the rest of it?

Just change parents into grandfather.

I'm a hypnotherapist, and I do Life Between Lives (LBL) work. In one such session, my client (and her twin), had been molested often by their much older sister's husband. Their protests were ignored and dismissed by this older sister, and both twins despised her.

(In LBL we go to the most recent past life, and live that life, and re-experience that death, and then ascend towards . . . . .the space we go between lives, to meet our Teachers and our soul group and our Soul Self . . . . . 4D? . . . . . another dimension . . . . . nirvana . . . . . .)

As this client was ascending after her past life death, a wonderful and loving deep blue being appeared to comfort her. That being was my client's older sister. Client astonished by the love there . . . .

Time with client's Guide and Elders . . . It seems that my client was so spiritually oriented, and her desire and instinct to just float out of her body was so strong, that she need this weight, this grounding, to have her stay on this planet and in this body. And that explanation resonated an understanding and balance for her.

If interested in such a spiritual journey, you may find a Life Between Lives Hypnotist near you at: http://www.spiritualregression.org


When we are certain of our path, we should follow it. Your question reflects a certain uncertainty, so I feel doubtful that a confrontation would satisfy.

When uncertain and conflicted, then wisdom may involve listening to the warnings of your own heart, and leave him to die.

Maybe the work you need do is within you, and really has nothing to do with him any longer.

I don't know the correct answer, this is just what I feel, only you know what to do.

But the cosmos seems to have created a "hurry up," around this decision, because he's dying. I say (and you know) time isn't real. So take your time, and do this healing for yourself, in your own manner. I think that the timing of his death should not hurry you.

When he dies, his Guides and Elders will lay this all out for him in their perfectly patient, and understanding, and loving, and clear, firm, and inescapable manner. He will receive the lessons and the help that he needs, as he should.

When you work through this weight you are carrying, and you let go of him with forgiveness, he may then recognize and celebrate your wisdom, and that may further help his own release.