08-27-2012, 02:18 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-27-2012, 02:34 AM by TheInfinite1.)
Greetings brothers and sisters, friends, and family. At this current point in "time" my name is Samuel and I am a wanderer with a biological age of roughly 21 years.
I would like to write a personal, albeit short, biography of who I am and why I am here as many others have done.
I was born into a middle class family. My mother was a hard working beautiful woman from Pennsylvania and my father a hard working cowboy from Wyoming. I never saw them together as they divorced before I was just a year old. So at a young age I lived, half of the time, with my father and around horses and a plethora of other animals and then with my mother in the suburban area of town.
Living back and forth was like living in two different worlds/lives. Especially since my mothers rules and views contrasted differently with my fathers rules and views. This upbringing caused somewhat of an imbalanced perspective as I never really created a strong and crystallized image for myself as a person but instead was in constant states of trying to fit into both life styles. Which later would be quite the catalyst.
Moving on,
I always was somewhat of an odd one in the lower levels of grade school. Peers could intuitively sense that I "stuck" out. Never was this a problem as I didn't have trouble being social or making friends but I got told several times that I was odd or weird but I just felt like that's who I was, especially because I lived in a different environment half the time, and accepted it.
At a young age I had always been a day dreamer and an avid one at that. I would dream of fighting dark protagonists and protecting people whom I loved, flying above the building that I was in, teleporting to places, and the one I used to think was always odd was the reoccurring day dream of meeting back with my other family - not a conventional family more like a group of really close friends. I used to tell my mother that I had another family but it wasn't because I didn't like my family or my parents but just that I simply had another (this feeling later become a very important aspect of myself). Other times I would close my eyes and watch the trails and patterns in my Mind and on the back of my eye lids for hours (my first steps towards meditation). Teachers were fond of me for my intelligence as I had high markings and well put together writing assignments for my age - yet, they were distraught that I rarely paid attention and for the most part spoke of being in school as pointless and as I would say to my teachers "bad for me". Often when I would say statements that bashed the educational system I was sent to the office as it reoccurred several times.
Later when I was in middle school and I was starting to gain an identity on who I was and I begin to become very imbalanced towards self-acceptance. I was always very skinny and got bullied for it which caused me to become more and more unaccepted of my biological body and thus more and more blocked in my orange energy center. I started wearing long sleeves and pants all the time even in the summers to cover up my arms and legs so nobody saw how skinny I had looked.
Because of my self-essentricies I went from the open happy younger boy to a introverted and very depressed adolescent. I was quiet in school, and not very open or charismatic. I over analyzed everything, and even though I had a 4.0-4.3 (depending on AP classes) GPA through high school I hated school quite deeply. I felt that I was unlucky and mad that I got such terrible genetics to where I looked so ugly - even though people would say I was good looking or looked fine. This caused my upper energy centers to be very dim and because I hated myself the world (being a reflection of ourselves) reflected that hate. I thought of committing suicide as I felt to live was pointless but I always couldn't go forward with such an action as I cried over seeing my mother and father heart broken.
I got into drug usage and was an alcoholic by 15 years old. At 16 I got kicked out of school for selling my prescription pills because I knew they were very bad for me and I needed the money. I was out of school for 6 months and still hated myself and everything. Then something happened that was extremely epiphanic in nature.
I awoke with a pain in my side that I though was a heart attack and my mom, in a frantic manner, took me to the hospital. I had had a hole in my lung and several masses from Valley Fever. It was chaos in the hospital and I blacked out in the midst of it - supposedly only for a few seconds.
In an instant I went from this lack of self-awareness and blackness to this vividly beautiful and familiar beach with extremely colorful water and waves - colors that I hadn't seen before. I was walking with a man who was familiar yet a stranger. He didn't speak or communicate with words or thought but I watched as he stopped and looked out into the water and there out across the ocean I saw a beautiful and magnificent city shimmering with gold and white. The sky behind it was this violet shimmering boundlessness with thousands and thousands of stars glittering and gleaming. Then I felt my entire being get yanked backwards and I was being stabbed with a needle full of steroids to bring down the swelling.
When I was recovering at home from the traumatic event I begin to think about what I had experienced and even though my logic told me it was a dream my heart told me it was far more than that. I even would have to hold back tears thinking about it as it had such an emotional meaning to me. I begin to search from that point for an answer but to what? I didn't know what my question really was other than 'why?'.
I first got into conspiracy theories and such things like that and eventually into the Q & A's of individuals who claimed to be a part of this organization or that. I read the Bible all the way through but it felt lacking, and then the Quran which wasn't very different, and then the Dhammapada which was much more meaningful to me then others and pointed me towards meditation.
At 18 I was still self conscious and still had a dislike for life. I was even more confused after reading dogmatic literature and still doing drugs and partying. I then was given an opportunity to go to school in a different in Pennsylvania (away from my imbalanced lifestyle) which I reluctantly took. When I was in the air port to Pennsylvania a woman who I was sitting next to at the gate was reading a book, the Law of One volume 1. She laughed and said I probably thought she was a "werido" for reading such "nonsense" but contrary to her perception I was ecstatic when she begin speaking about it. I ended up ordering my first set of the Law of One material.
In Pennsylvania I completely changed. I started serious dieting and weight training and intensive meditation whilst not having any friends or doing any of the useful stuff I used to do. I worked full time, went to school full time, and was constantly fine tuning my exercising and dieting routine. All in the while I was reading the Ra Material and having powerful epiphanies and feelings of closeness to the material which wasn't so with the previous literature that I had read.
Within a just year and a half I had transformed my Body into quite a physique, I had transformed my Mind into being single-pointed, clear, and complete, and I had transformed my feelings for myself and others into an accepting and loving being-ness.
When I moved back to where I had lived before I was completely transformed. After a year of being back in my home I was continuing what I had done before but less intensively as I begin being social again. It was at this point of my life that I was getting into advanced studying of the Law of One and consciously working with the energy centers begin to become centerfold. I started to get quite blocked in my yellow energy center as I started to develop a strong sense of power and my ego followed. This was because of my new perception of my self physically and people's new perception and reaction to my new self (I wasn't used to the attention). I was perceptive of this and I started to look for my humbleness again which was a powerful plethora of lessons in and of itself.
My meditations became deeper and easier and I begin to do work in my higher energy centers as I more and more became crystallized in having a semi-meditative and still mental state. Like clock work, I had another powerful epiphany when I begin doing work in my indigo chakra.
I was working to open my indigo chakra with first the ritual of fully accepting my worth as the Infinite One and then feeling each lower energy center in motion and open. I usually had continuous pulses/flashes of energy around my brow area and also at the back of my head. This was normal to me until one day when I was an hour and a half into meditation the pulses went from being pulses to flowing into each other as one continuous flow of energy. My whole body was vibrating and I felt a pure sense of ecstasy even better than the actual drug and out of curiosity I opened my eyes - shocked to see that my world was stopped and still as I sat there feeling perfectly connected. My dog who was walking around my room was frozen in place, my small fan looked like it had just turned off and the fan was starting to become still, and then I felt my breathing in motion but so slow as I was inhaling that I thought I was about to suffocate! My Body immediately stopped vibrating and the world around me was back in motion when I was in that state of fearfulness towards my breathing.
This caused me to become quite intensive and serious towards working with my higher energy centers. Within a year since that night I have become quite sagacious in being able to "feel" which energy centers are blocked or functioning appropriately and in balance.
Even more significantly I have seen those 'magical' happenings that seem 'impossible', abnormal, or fairy-tale like occur through my contact and connection with the source/Intelligent Infinity - I have felt, know, and understand this connection yet it is still bathed in mystery as I believe it shall always be. And now at this very moment I am here with you all to tell you from a portion of yourself that, yes, the impossible is possible through you and through love. Outside of the distortions of this world there is an incredible universe that is timeless, resplendent, and full of a grand family. I now understand - the veil isn't quite as heavy as it once was and I feel I should just toss it off my eyes and 'fly' away but instead I wish to be seated in this life and in this world to shine with my brothers and sisters and mutually guide each other to the world that many hope for. A world of love, peace, and acceptance where all things are open and free - and I promise to you that all things are open and free to you.
I am thankful to have shared with you all my story and even more so to share knowledge betwixt each of us as we interact throughout the forum and teach/learn learn/teach each other about our infinite selves.
Te Amo brothers and sisters.
I would like to write a personal, albeit short, biography of who I am and why I am here as many others have done.
I was born into a middle class family. My mother was a hard working beautiful woman from Pennsylvania and my father a hard working cowboy from Wyoming. I never saw them together as they divorced before I was just a year old. So at a young age I lived, half of the time, with my father and around horses and a plethora of other animals and then with my mother in the suburban area of town.
Living back and forth was like living in two different worlds/lives. Especially since my mothers rules and views contrasted differently with my fathers rules and views. This upbringing caused somewhat of an imbalanced perspective as I never really created a strong and crystallized image for myself as a person but instead was in constant states of trying to fit into both life styles. Which later would be quite the catalyst.
Moving on,
I always was somewhat of an odd one in the lower levels of grade school. Peers could intuitively sense that I "stuck" out. Never was this a problem as I didn't have trouble being social or making friends but I got told several times that I was odd or weird but I just felt like that's who I was, especially because I lived in a different environment half the time, and accepted it.
At a young age I had always been a day dreamer and an avid one at that. I would dream of fighting dark protagonists and protecting people whom I loved, flying above the building that I was in, teleporting to places, and the one I used to think was always odd was the reoccurring day dream of meeting back with my other family - not a conventional family more like a group of really close friends. I used to tell my mother that I had another family but it wasn't because I didn't like my family or my parents but just that I simply had another (this feeling later become a very important aspect of myself). Other times I would close my eyes and watch the trails and patterns in my Mind and on the back of my eye lids for hours (my first steps towards meditation). Teachers were fond of me for my intelligence as I had high markings and well put together writing assignments for my age - yet, they were distraught that I rarely paid attention and for the most part spoke of being in school as pointless and as I would say to my teachers "bad for me". Often when I would say statements that bashed the educational system I was sent to the office as it reoccurred several times.
Later when I was in middle school and I was starting to gain an identity on who I was and I begin to become very imbalanced towards self-acceptance. I was always very skinny and got bullied for it which caused me to become more and more unaccepted of my biological body and thus more and more blocked in my orange energy center. I started wearing long sleeves and pants all the time even in the summers to cover up my arms and legs so nobody saw how skinny I had looked.
Because of my self-essentricies I went from the open happy younger boy to a introverted and very depressed adolescent. I was quiet in school, and not very open or charismatic. I over analyzed everything, and even though I had a 4.0-4.3 (depending on AP classes) GPA through high school I hated school quite deeply. I felt that I was unlucky and mad that I got such terrible genetics to where I looked so ugly - even though people would say I was good looking or looked fine. This caused my upper energy centers to be very dim and because I hated myself the world (being a reflection of ourselves) reflected that hate. I thought of committing suicide as I felt to live was pointless but I always couldn't go forward with such an action as I cried over seeing my mother and father heart broken.
I got into drug usage and was an alcoholic by 15 years old. At 16 I got kicked out of school for selling my prescription pills because I knew they were very bad for me and I needed the money. I was out of school for 6 months and still hated myself and everything. Then something happened that was extremely epiphanic in nature.
I awoke with a pain in my side that I though was a heart attack and my mom, in a frantic manner, took me to the hospital. I had had a hole in my lung and several masses from Valley Fever. It was chaos in the hospital and I blacked out in the midst of it - supposedly only for a few seconds.
In an instant I went from this lack of self-awareness and blackness to this vividly beautiful and familiar beach with extremely colorful water and waves - colors that I hadn't seen before. I was walking with a man who was familiar yet a stranger. He didn't speak or communicate with words or thought but I watched as he stopped and looked out into the water and there out across the ocean I saw a beautiful and magnificent city shimmering with gold and white. The sky behind it was this violet shimmering boundlessness with thousands and thousands of stars glittering and gleaming. Then I felt my entire being get yanked backwards and I was being stabbed with a needle full of steroids to bring down the swelling.
When I was recovering at home from the traumatic event I begin to think about what I had experienced and even though my logic told me it was a dream my heart told me it was far more than that. I even would have to hold back tears thinking about it as it had such an emotional meaning to me. I begin to search from that point for an answer but to what? I didn't know what my question really was other than 'why?'.
I first got into conspiracy theories and such things like that and eventually into the Q & A's of individuals who claimed to be a part of this organization or that. I read the Bible all the way through but it felt lacking, and then the Quran which wasn't very different, and then the Dhammapada which was much more meaningful to me then others and pointed me towards meditation.
At 18 I was still self conscious and still had a dislike for life. I was even more confused after reading dogmatic literature and still doing drugs and partying. I then was given an opportunity to go to school in a different in Pennsylvania (away from my imbalanced lifestyle) which I reluctantly took. When I was in the air port to Pennsylvania a woman who I was sitting next to at the gate was reading a book, the Law of One volume 1. She laughed and said I probably thought she was a "werido" for reading such "nonsense" but contrary to her perception I was ecstatic when she begin speaking about it. I ended up ordering my first set of the Law of One material.
In Pennsylvania I completely changed. I started serious dieting and weight training and intensive meditation whilst not having any friends or doing any of the useful stuff I used to do. I worked full time, went to school full time, and was constantly fine tuning my exercising and dieting routine. All in the while I was reading the Ra Material and having powerful epiphanies and feelings of closeness to the material which wasn't so with the previous literature that I had read.
Within a just year and a half I had transformed my Body into quite a physique, I had transformed my Mind into being single-pointed, clear, and complete, and I had transformed my feelings for myself and others into an accepting and loving being-ness.
When I moved back to where I had lived before I was completely transformed. After a year of being back in my home I was continuing what I had done before but less intensively as I begin being social again. It was at this point of my life that I was getting into advanced studying of the Law of One and consciously working with the energy centers begin to become centerfold. I started to get quite blocked in my yellow energy center as I started to develop a strong sense of power and my ego followed. This was because of my new perception of my self physically and people's new perception and reaction to my new self (I wasn't used to the attention). I was perceptive of this and I started to look for my humbleness again which was a powerful plethora of lessons in and of itself.
My meditations became deeper and easier and I begin to do work in my higher energy centers as I more and more became crystallized in having a semi-meditative and still mental state. Like clock work, I had another powerful epiphany when I begin doing work in my indigo chakra.
I was working to open my indigo chakra with first the ritual of fully accepting my worth as the Infinite One and then feeling each lower energy center in motion and open. I usually had continuous pulses/flashes of energy around my brow area and also at the back of my head. This was normal to me until one day when I was an hour and a half into meditation the pulses went from being pulses to flowing into each other as one continuous flow of energy. My whole body was vibrating and I felt a pure sense of ecstasy even better than the actual drug and out of curiosity I opened my eyes - shocked to see that my world was stopped and still as I sat there feeling perfectly connected. My dog who was walking around my room was frozen in place, my small fan looked like it had just turned off and the fan was starting to become still, and then I felt my breathing in motion but so slow as I was inhaling that I thought I was about to suffocate! My Body immediately stopped vibrating and the world around me was back in motion when I was in that state of fearfulness towards my breathing.
This caused me to become quite intensive and serious towards working with my higher energy centers. Within a year since that night I have become quite sagacious in being able to "feel" which energy centers are blocked or functioning appropriately and in balance.
Even more significantly I have seen those 'magical' happenings that seem 'impossible', abnormal, or fairy-tale like occur through my contact and connection with the source/Intelligent Infinity - I have felt, know, and understand this connection yet it is still bathed in mystery as I believe it shall always be. And now at this very moment I am here with you all to tell you from a portion of yourself that, yes, the impossible is possible through you and through love. Outside of the distortions of this world there is an incredible universe that is timeless, resplendent, and full of a grand family. I now understand - the veil isn't quite as heavy as it once was and I feel I should just toss it off my eyes and 'fly' away but instead I wish to be seated in this life and in this world to shine with my brothers and sisters and mutually guide each other to the world that many hope for. A world of love, peace, and acceptance where all things are open and free - and I promise to you that all things are open and free to you.
I am thankful to have shared with you all my story and even more so to share knowledge betwixt each of us as we interact throughout the forum and teach/learn learn/teach each other about our infinite selves.
Te Amo brothers and sisters.
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