05-19-2012, 06:16 PM
I had a vivid dream last night that was chock full of symbolic imagery. It was another “possession” dream, but it differed from the other countless dreams I have had in that genre in several ways.
A lot of the dream is just a big blur, but the part I clearly remember was that I was going to be possessed. Either the possession had been going on sporadically for some time or somehow everyone simply realized it was going to happen because everyone was making a big deal over it. They had me hooked up to all kinds of medical equipment to monitor the effects on my physical body, and camera men were filming the whole thing and there was a crowd of reporters outside the hospital I was in, waiting to ask questions about it.
The actual act of possession is all a blur to me, but I remember watching the video of it that had been made afterwards, staring into my own face as these things happened to me. Before whatever it was actually entered into me several rather obvious omens began manifesting around the room, such as a small statue of the Virgin Mary sitting on a dresser by my bed starting to cry blood. The camera man zoomed in on each one of these omens dramatically as they happened, and I thought it was impressive that he noticed them so quickly and captured them so perfectly when the video was supposed to be little more than a live feed. It seemed as if he had known what to expect.
Then came the moment of actual possession. My image on the screen made a few strange sounds, then my left eye began to sink into my head, the eyelid being pulled down like this:http://ringufan.intelligent-light.com/ (I know you've all seen the Ringu eye)
As this happened the image on the camera warped and became distorted, and I felt as if I were reliving the experience again. I felt a surge/flux of energy through that eye. My eye quickly returned to normal, then it dipped down again; another distortion, another energy flux. Then my face became…something else. I did more after that, but it gets blurry. That image of the eye is still crisp and clear in my head, however. I remember my eyes turned an unusual pale blue color and even the whites had a bluish tint to them.
Some more random things happened and it all somehow led into me finding out that Clayton had (without my knowledge) fathered my son and then killed him. I’m not sure how I never noticed giving birth to a son, but it was all a surprise to me. Clayton apparently felt some guilt over the murder, but resolutely believed that it had to be done. He was haunted by visions of the child torturing him in hell, but he accepted this as the consequence of his actions.
Clayton had also apparently been doing research on my possession. At this point I seemed to be experiencing his thoughts through journal entries. I would see scenes and hear his voice describing them, as if he were taking notes. There were several images of my biological father, who looked like a very muscular Latino man. He then was studying a photo of the crowd of reporters that had been outside of the hospital, and noticed a woman with messy brown hair in the back who didn’t really look like a reporter, and he surmised that it was my birth mother, who had showed up because she was concerned about me.
There was more to the dream, but that is all I remember clearly.
One of the ways this differed from my usual possession dreams was the level of emotional detachment, both in the events of the actual possession and in my reaction to seeing them later. Usually being possessed in my dreams feels similar to when I have a seizure in waking life (it is highly possible that I am simply having a seizure in my sleep when these dreams come about). It is a huge influx of violent energy that surges through my system and immediately overrides my natural thought process. My consciousness reverts to a state of pure instinct and I go into a form of “frenzy” in which I become highly dramatic and destructive. It feels more as if a bomb of negative energy exploded inside of me than as if a sentient entity were consciously puppeteering my actions. In this dream the whole process happened slowly and calmly, the eye appearing as if that which was inhabiting me simply wanted to greet the audience with its own eyes. Though the energy I experienced was intense there was not the same quality of abrasive, system-wrecking current I am used to.
There was also my reaction- usually I find these dreams highly distressing, both within the dream and when I wake up. It is hard to not experience terror when one loses all control over their body and even their thoughts. However, this time I found the whole thing a bit disturbing but was not met with the same feelings of panic and dread. It was more like “Oh. Hm. Well, that was creepy.”
Another way it differed was the obvious symbolism. Religious iconography, the media presence, birth giving, dramatic family relationships…Usually these dream occurrences are spontaneous and can interrupt whatever dream I was having at the time, but this seemed to be going off of a script, with literal dramatic camera angles and everything.
So now, my interpretation:
One of the first symbols I pulled out was this huge media drama reference. Everything being filmed, reporters crowding around to get a glimpse of something shocking…It seems very indicative of the way we can watch all manner of grotesque violence on TV these days and not even be phased by it, and I feel this could be a dream illustration of how the negative polarity likes to create a lot of drama to take people’s attention away from the building blocks of seeking. Is freaking out about negative entities, dissolving into either a state of panic or a state of righteous indignation, really a productive means of escalating one’s growth? No, IMO, but it all the paranormal flare gives it a spiritual flavor, and therefore seekers simply welcome these experiences into their lives and latch onto them like a tick to blood, out of blind fear or out of the fact that being the focus of such attention makes them feel special/draws attention and sympathy to their being. I have gone through this cycle of attachment several times myself, and I feel like this part of the dream is an ardent warning against such behavior, urging me to excuse myself from the cycle of fear and devote myself to that which is truly important. Those beings can only truly harm them if I allow it, and if my heart and will are focused, the most they can do is make noise from the bleachers. This is a mental process I have been involved in most ardently as of late, so I can see why the lesson would show up in my dreams.
The part about Clayton I think could possibly reflect my actual relationship with this person, as it has been on my mind (and, obviously in my dreams) as of late. He disappeared abruptly from my life, and this dream suggests that this may have been more out of a feeling of need than a desire to be rid of my company. For one reason or another, he felt that what he did was absolutely necessary, though is perhaps still visited by thoughts of what was and what could have been. I see the killing of the child as the cutting off of the growth of our relationship, keeping it from evolving beyond our individual selves and into something that was made out of the both of us, though of course that process happens naturally to a degree with ANY person you meet, if even only briefly. You can’t help but create something comprised of each of your energies.
I’m still trying to figure out what the references to my biological parents might represent. I have been searching for them for some time now, filling out the appropriate forms to have my adoption records opened, etc., so perhaps it was just a wish fulfillment dream, though I found it odd that my father was Latino. I don’t look the slightest bit Latino and share none of the features of the man that I saw. I’m not sure what symbolism might be involved there. Perhaps my mother in the crowd could indicate that she still thinks of me and my well being, though I have never met her.
Anyone see anything I may have missed? I feel like this dream was a message from my higher self (perhaps with the aid of a mischievous friend or two), and I want to make sure I understand the messages within it.
A lot of the dream is just a big blur, but the part I clearly remember was that I was going to be possessed. Either the possession had been going on sporadically for some time or somehow everyone simply realized it was going to happen because everyone was making a big deal over it. They had me hooked up to all kinds of medical equipment to monitor the effects on my physical body, and camera men were filming the whole thing and there was a crowd of reporters outside the hospital I was in, waiting to ask questions about it.
The actual act of possession is all a blur to me, but I remember watching the video of it that had been made afterwards, staring into my own face as these things happened to me. Before whatever it was actually entered into me several rather obvious omens began manifesting around the room, such as a small statue of the Virgin Mary sitting on a dresser by my bed starting to cry blood. The camera man zoomed in on each one of these omens dramatically as they happened, and I thought it was impressive that he noticed them so quickly and captured them so perfectly when the video was supposed to be little more than a live feed. It seemed as if he had known what to expect.
Then came the moment of actual possession. My image on the screen made a few strange sounds, then my left eye began to sink into my head, the eyelid being pulled down like this:http://ringufan.intelligent-light.com/ (I know you've all seen the Ringu eye)
As this happened the image on the camera warped and became distorted, and I felt as if I were reliving the experience again. I felt a surge/flux of energy through that eye. My eye quickly returned to normal, then it dipped down again; another distortion, another energy flux. Then my face became…something else. I did more after that, but it gets blurry. That image of the eye is still crisp and clear in my head, however. I remember my eyes turned an unusual pale blue color and even the whites had a bluish tint to them.
Some more random things happened and it all somehow led into me finding out that Clayton had (without my knowledge) fathered my son and then killed him. I’m not sure how I never noticed giving birth to a son, but it was all a surprise to me. Clayton apparently felt some guilt over the murder, but resolutely believed that it had to be done. He was haunted by visions of the child torturing him in hell, but he accepted this as the consequence of his actions.
Clayton had also apparently been doing research on my possession. At this point I seemed to be experiencing his thoughts through journal entries. I would see scenes and hear his voice describing them, as if he were taking notes. There were several images of my biological father, who looked like a very muscular Latino man. He then was studying a photo of the crowd of reporters that had been outside of the hospital, and noticed a woman with messy brown hair in the back who didn’t really look like a reporter, and he surmised that it was my birth mother, who had showed up because she was concerned about me.
There was more to the dream, but that is all I remember clearly.
One of the ways this differed from my usual possession dreams was the level of emotional detachment, both in the events of the actual possession and in my reaction to seeing them later. Usually being possessed in my dreams feels similar to when I have a seizure in waking life (it is highly possible that I am simply having a seizure in my sleep when these dreams come about). It is a huge influx of violent energy that surges through my system and immediately overrides my natural thought process. My consciousness reverts to a state of pure instinct and I go into a form of “frenzy” in which I become highly dramatic and destructive. It feels more as if a bomb of negative energy exploded inside of me than as if a sentient entity were consciously puppeteering my actions. In this dream the whole process happened slowly and calmly, the eye appearing as if that which was inhabiting me simply wanted to greet the audience with its own eyes. Though the energy I experienced was intense there was not the same quality of abrasive, system-wrecking current I am used to.
There was also my reaction- usually I find these dreams highly distressing, both within the dream and when I wake up. It is hard to not experience terror when one loses all control over their body and even their thoughts. However, this time I found the whole thing a bit disturbing but was not met with the same feelings of panic and dread. It was more like “Oh. Hm. Well, that was creepy.”
Another way it differed was the obvious symbolism. Religious iconography, the media presence, birth giving, dramatic family relationships…Usually these dream occurrences are spontaneous and can interrupt whatever dream I was having at the time, but this seemed to be going off of a script, with literal dramatic camera angles and everything.
So now, my interpretation:
One of the first symbols I pulled out was this huge media drama reference. Everything being filmed, reporters crowding around to get a glimpse of something shocking…It seems very indicative of the way we can watch all manner of grotesque violence on TV these days and not even be phased by it, and I feel this could be a dream illustration of how the negative polarity likes to create a lot of drama to take people’s attention away from the building blocks of seeking. Is freaking out about negative entities, dissolving into either a state of panic or a state of righteous indignation, really a productive means of escalating one’s growth? No, IMO, but it all the paranormal flare gives it a spiritual flavor, and therefore seekers simply welcome these experiences into their lives and latch onto them like a tick to blood, out of blind fear or out of the fact that being the focus of such attention makes them feel special/draws attention and sympathy to their being. I have gone through this cycle of attachment several times myself, and I feel like this part of the dream is an ardent warning against such behavior, urging me to excuse myself from the cycle of fear and devote myself to that which is truly important. Those beings can only truly harm them if I allow it, and if my heart and will are focused, the most they can do is make noise from the bleachers. This is a mental process I have been involved in most ardently as of late, so I can see why the lesson would show up in my dreams.
The part about Clayton I think could possibly reflect my actual relationship with this person, as it has been on my mind (and, obviously in my dreams) as of late. He disappeared abruptly from my life, and this dream suggests that this may have been more out of a feeling of need than a desire to be rid of my company. For one reason or another, he felt that what he did was absolutely necessary, though is perhaps still visited by thoughts of what was and what could have been. I see the killing of the child as the cutting off of the growth of our relationship, keeping it from evolving beyond our individual selves and into something that was made out of the both of us, though of course that process happens naturally to a degree with ANY person you meet, if even only briefly. You can’t help but create something comprised of each of your energies.
I’m still trying to figure out what the references to my biological parents might represent. I have been searching for them for some time now, filling out the appropriate forms to have my adoption records opened, etc., so perhaps it was just a wish fulfillment dream, though I found it odd that my father was Latino. I don’t look the slightest bit Latino and share none of the features of the man that I saw. I’m not sure what symbolism might be involved there. Perhaps my mother in the crowd could indicate that she still thinks of me and my well being, though I have never met her.
Anyone see anything I may have missed? I feel like this dream was a message from my higher self (perhaps with the aid of a mischievous friend or two), and I want to make sure I understand the messages within it.