Introvert/Extrovert

[turtledude23]

Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or balanced? How has this affected your polarization?

[CircleofOne]

Heavily introverted. On the meyer's-briggs test I almost always come up an INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). I can't objectively say how it's affected my polarization. From what I can tell it goes hand in hand with being a wanderer with heavy feelings of alienation from those around them. It formed more self-reliance when it came to questing for answers about the world, because the kinds of questions that come up along that path are not exactly ones you ask the average person with any hope of a deep, relevant answer. On the other hand, as much as the particular path of introversion has led me to where I am, I can see that it fostered feelings of separation. It's hard for me to feel a connection to the majority of people I encounter. It's something I'm constantly working to improve.

[gharghur]

Balanced.
There is a time and place for everything.

[turtledude23]

Heavily introverted. On the meyer's-briggs test I almost always come up an INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). I can't objectively say how it's affected my polarization. From what I can tell it goes hand in hand with being a wanderer with heavy feelings of alienation from those around them. It formed more self-reliance when it came to questing for answers about the world, because the kinds of questions that come up along that path are not exactly ones you ask the average person with any hope of a deep, relevant answer. On the other hand, as much as the particular path of introversion has led me to where I am, I can see that it fostered feelings of separation. It's hard for me to feel a connection to the majority of people I encounter. It's something I'm constantly working to improve.

I agree with your statement so much.

[@ndy]

I'd not herd of that test, and not done one in years since I saw psychologists.
I get the NFP but with the Extroverted at the front. So ENFP

I have ADHD and Dyslexia and I think that helped build confidence. I guess I was lucky to have an accepting and supporting family otherwise I may have been more introverted.
Polarisation I think it helped for the longest time I just thought everyone was the same as me.... I still do to an extent, it makes it easy to trust, forgive and love. I rarely get upset by other people.

[Richard]

No doubt..I'm a bit of an introvert. I am perfectly happy at home with family or working in the yard. My wife, however, is an extreme extrovert. I wonder if the two are somehow drawn to each other? We make it work though..most of the time

Richard

[Shemaya]

I hear you Richard, I am more introverted and my husband is more of an extrovert, though I find myself getting extroverted when I really feel comfortable.

I think we are attracted to others who compliment us, so to me it does make sense, that I'd find an extrovert more attractive

And like you....most of the time we make it work, though it is work!

[Richard]

I hear you Richard, I am more introverted and my husband is more of an extrovert, though I find myself getting extroverted when I really feel comfortable.

I think we are attracted to others who compliment us, so to me it does make sense, that I'd find an extrovert more attractive

And like you....most of the time we make it work, though it is work!

Have you ever noticed, Shemaya? That extroverts almost to go out of their way to look for ways to bring us out of our shell? Drag us out to this or that function, lolol. Guess we gotta get out once in awhile, but sometimes...well, it is work.

“oh..you’ll have fun”….the most dreaded words in an introverts vocabulary, lolol.

Richard

[zanny]

INTP - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
(Introverted Thinking with Extraverted Intuition)

This is what I always get when I take the test. I feel it is accurate. My husband is an Extrovert. I don't feel unbalanced but I have at times wished I could be more outgoing. I think that is because the grass has always looked greener on the otherside. But as I have grown older I have begun to appreciate the fact that I can spend hours alone with myself and be perfectly happy and at peace. Mostly I see the difference between my husband and I as...He is seeking attention from others vs others seek my attention. Kind of like the watcher and the watched...Or the observer and the observed. It works for us.

I am wondering what prompted the question?

zanny

[Lorna]

i've never really felt that either of those labels suit me, although i'd probably be classed as introverted to an extent
i like your reworking of the concepts around attention zanny, that makes more sense to me

[@ndy]

I'm not sure I'd agree with attention seeking/giving. Though I'm prepared to admit could be me trying to wriggle out of being an attention seeker

Say for instance you walk down the street and smile and say hello to people, or chat to people in the bus stop. A waitress in a cafe that is chatty and friendly. A singer singing to people.

There all extroverted behaviour, but in any exchange there is energy both ways. Your smiling and acknowledging the other person, a singer is expressing them selves - In return attention/energy is recipricated

The exchange could of course be more selfish.

Would being introverted be more a non exchange perhaps? Avoiding interaction and energy exchange?

I'm with an introverted person so I agree with the opposite thing.

[Lorna]

lol! but there's nothing wrong with seeking attention / interaction! so why try to wriggle out of it?

actually when you think about it a lot of singers / performers have naturally introverted personalities - the act of getting up on stage and engaging being appealing / energising / liberating for exactly that reason. a chatty waitress may well just be using a work persona. I would probably separate behaviour from personality traits in that respect

[@ndy]

lol! but there's nothing wrong with seeking attention / interaction! so why try to wriggle out of it?

I'm not, but it's a possible motive for my disagreeing

actually when you think about it a lot of singers / performers have naturally introverted personalities - the act of getting up on stage and engaging being appealing / energising / liberating for exactly that reason. a chatty waitress may well just be using a work persona. I would probably separate behaviour from personality traits in that respect

Attention Seeking/Attention giving, suggests a one way flow of energy and that would be very STS on behalf of the extrovert.
Interactions can be balanced, positive or negative.
I'd see it more as seeking interaction with others or wanting to interact with own self.

I guess most people have a time for both

[Questioner]

I put in one of the balanced/in-between votes. I consistently test at the middle. I need quiet time to rest and think, and I also need interaction time. For me they both must be present and balanced for me to have a balanced day or week.

[turtledude23]

I am wondering what prompted the question?

I assume the majority of people on this forum are wanderers or feel like they are, my theory is that wanderers (or people philosophically inclined enough to join this forum) are more likely to be introverted, and so far the poll seems to support this. Also the polarization part is interesting because you could be any of the 3 options and polarize well to STO, but I was wondering if extroverts or more balanced personalities would have an easier time than introverts, or vice versa.

Also I didn't answer in my original post so: I'm introverted but for the past several months I've been trying to be more extroverted, I want to reach a more or less balanced state, maybe still leaning more to introversion. I find reading (especially LOO and this forum) exciting, but given the option I'd chose hanging out with friends because I do it so seldomly.

[JoshC]

I'm somewhere between introverted and in-between, though I think I'm closer to in-between.

[Deekun]

I am wondering what prompted the question?

Also I didn't answer in my original post so: I'm introverted but for the past several months I've been trying to be more extroverted, I want to reach a more or less balanced state, maybe still leaning more to introversion. I find reading (especially LOO and this forum) exciting, but given the option I'd chose hanging out with friends because I do it so seldomly.

Wouldn't you have a better time at learning your strengths as an Introvert rather than trying to become an Extrovert? I think you will be fighting an uphill battle against yourself by, well, not being yourself and trying to be something you are not. How have you found your experiences so far when trying to be more extroverted?

[turtledude23]

Wouldn't you have a better time at learning your strengths as an Introvert rather than trying to become an Extrovert? I think you will be fighting an uphill battle against yourself by, well, not being yourself and trying to be something you are not. How have you found your experiences so far when trying to be more extroverted?

Since I started working towards this goal in June it's easier for me to talk to people I don't know so well, I can maintain longer conversations, and I find social gatherings more enjoyable now. I'm also happier in general and more accepting of others but this is probably only partially due to the increased extroversion because I've been improving this way ever since I started my spiritual path 2 or 3 years ago. But recently I feel like I've hit a harder bump, so right now I'm both embracing my introverted/nerdy side more, as well as trying harder to make new friends. I think I'll always be more of an introvert but I feel like, for me anyways, a balance would be better. I would LOVE to be able to be the kind of person who's life's greatest joy is computer programming or something, because then my happiness would be dependent entirely on me, but this lifestyle doesn't suit me. I want a nice balance of socializing with people I enjoy being with, and alone time.

[Deekun]

Nice, I'm glad you are having a good transition, I only asked because I have had some friends that worked on that as well. Their experiences did not fare as well as yours, I think that they pressured themselves too much to change too quickly. This inevitably led to feeling uneasy and out of place. But I do get what you are saying about the computer programming gig, I personally don't know that many happy programmers though The unbelievable deadlines placed on them is enough to make you cringe. Anyway, good luck Turtledude!!!

[Plenum]

INTJ here ... along with being a double Capricorn. It's meant quite a lot of balancing over the years as the strong will of Capricorn tends to pull me in very definite directions, reducing the amount of spontaneity in the moment.

Being in the now, being in the moment, responding to the impulse as it arrives ... something I've had to learn as a 'habit'.

[Diana]

It is difficult for me to be in public for great amounts of time, and I require recuperation time alone. As long as I take "small sips" of being in public, I am fine. There is so much to deal with when in a group of almost any sort. But to be monk-like and completely sequestered does not serve me, as I seek catalyst to grow, and also, I like to share what I am. I don't mean that in an elitist way; I will give an example: I have 3 nephews and a niece, and I make a point to be in their lives. Their parents are very mainstream, and I feel I give them another perspective, and represent more possibilities, as I am very much "out-of-the-box."

I endeavor to embrace fully wherever I am. When I am alone, I love it. And when I am out in a group setting, I embrace it and attempt to extract as much fun, joy, and opportunity for expression as I can. I have stated the ideal here, and I do fall short sometimes.

I am INTJ by the way.

---

Mostly I see the difference between my husband and I as...He is seeking attention from others vs others seek my attention.

This seems like a judgment to me upon extraverts, suggesting that he is immature and you are beyond that behavior. (I am not an extravert by the way, so I am not defending myself.)

Perhaps extraverts simply enjoy the interaction, and closeness, and energy exchange with others. Perhaps they are more open to trusting, and giving of themselves to others. Perhaps they are not just seeking attention.

I have often thought, since I am more on the introverted side, that I was being selfish in indulging my comfortable alone time. It is so easy to be alone, because you are not encountering any catalyst to grow and learn in your controlled environment.

[Parsons]

Here is my profile... Maybe it will help people realize I have the best of intentions overall, whether or not it may seem like it in the moment.

INTPs are independent problem solvers who
excel at providing a detached, concise analysis
of an idea or situation. They have a high regard
for competence in themselves and others. They
ask the hard questions, challenging others and
themselves to find new logical approaches.
INTPs are mainly interested in ideas and have
little liking for small talk.
They value autonomy, home, family, and health.
• Logical
• Analytical
• Skeptical
• Objective
• Critical
• Abstract
• Ingenious
• Quick
• Complex
• Curious
• Insightful
• Contemplative
• Reserved
• Detached
• Contained
• Quiet
• Flexible
• Adaptable
• Tolerant
• Independent
INTP Descriptors
Introversion ▪ Intuition ▪ Thinking ▪ Perceiving
INTPs represent approximately 3% of the U.S. population.
Characteristics of INTPs
• INTPs are theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in
social interaction.
• They seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them.
• They have an unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their
area of interest.
• Their natural skepticism leads them to doubt or question many statements
or ideas until they can be convinced of their logical consistency.
• They love to spend time creating models of or forming theories about
complex systems.
INTPs with others
• INTPs tend to have a small circle of close friends and enjoy being with
others who like to discuss ideas.
• They value people of intelligence and competence.
• They love to theorize and discuss abstractions with others.
• INTPs prize precision in communication and dislike redundancy or stating
the obvious.
• They are usually quiet and reserved, although they can be quite talkative
about areas in which they have a lot of knowledge.
• They can become so absorbed in an idea that they ignore or lose track
of others.


INTPs at work
• INTPs bring great energy, intensity, and focus to researching or analyzing a
problem that arouses their curiosity.
• They are more interested in the challenge of solving problems than in seeing
the solutions put to practical use.
• They quickly see inconsistencies and illogic and enjoy taking apart
and reworking ideas. They naturally build complex theoretical systems
and models.
• Depending on their interests, INTPs may be good at pure science, research,
mathematics, or engineering.
• They may become scholars, teachers, or abstract thinkers in fields such as
economics, philosophy, and psychology.
• They find it difficult to work on routine tasks and are often not satisfied
managing people.
Potential blind spots for INTPs
• If INTPs have not developed their Thinking preference, they may jump
from insight to insight, never analyzing them with a critical eye or
integrating them into a whole.
• If they rely too much on their Thinking, they may overlook what they and
others care about. They may decide that something is not important just
because it isn’t logical to care about it.
• If they have not developed their Intuition preference, INTPs may have no
reliable way of taking in information and may become immersed in their
internal logical systems. Then they find it difficult to communicate or act on
their ideas.
• Also, they are in danger of gaining too little knowledge and experience of
the world. If so, their thinking will be done in a vacuum and nothing may
come of their ideas.
• INTPs want to state the truth precisely, but sometimes they make it so
complicated that not everyone can follow them.
• They often find it hard to express appreciation, which can cause difficulties
in their work or personal relationships.

This described me eerily well, with the caveat of I am not considered to a "family man".

Anyways, I just wanted to make sure you guys know I have much love for you all even if I "challenge" any of you often:idea:.

That being said... You may have to turn the garden hose on me sometimes when I first learn about something that interests me greatly from enthusiasm.

---

INTJ here ... along with being a double Capricorn. It's meant quite a lot of balancing over the years as the strong will of Capricorn tends to pull me in very definite directions, reducing the amount of spontaneity in the moment.

Being in the now, being in the moment, responding to the impulse as it arrives ... something I've had to learn as a 'habit'.

So you are my counterpart with the exception that I Percieve, not Judge.

[Plenum]

comparing INTP and INTJ ...

So you are my counterpart with the exception that I Percieve, not Judge.

Brother, brother!

[Peregrinus]

INTJ here ... along with being a double Capricorn. It's meant quite a lot of balancing over the years as the strong will of Capricorn tends to pull me in very definite directions, reducing the amount of spontaneity in the moment.

Being in the now, being in the moment, responding to the impulse as it arrives ... something I've had to learn as a 'habit'.

I am also INTJ, though spontaneity has never been something I have disdained or have trouble with, but actively enjoyed. I have always chosen to take "the scenic route", the route less travelled, that which offers the unseen or unnoticed. Under the old system, I was born an Aries, though under the new system, I am a Pisces.

[Oceania]

i'm an infp, i usually get along with intjs and intps and infps and infjs. i do not get along with s types and extroverts usually lead so busy lives they don't talk online.

[Meerie]

“oh..you’ll have fun”….the most dreaded words in an introverts vocabulary, lolol.

Richard

That just made me laugh Richard , I am always suspicious if someone says that.
I think I am an extroverted introvert, large gatherings like partys or group happenings are usually hard for me to tolerate. Anything with more than 4 people around me feels uncomfortable (except if they are all my friends and I know them ).
Although I seem to convey that I am quite the social type, no idea where that comes from

[apeiron]

I don't want to explain in terms of introvert-extrovert but for me it is hard to be a participant in other people's lives, to participate with others for an extended period of time. Short periods are fine overall, especially if humor is in between since I am not interested anymore in regular conversations. These vibrations are difficult to withstand for a certain amount of time and if some other vibration is not compatible at the time, I feel very much irritated and will probably include a dry departure.

I don't even think is related to blockage of yellow (or orange) since if I need to I can use this ray very appropriately, it is just that they feel very limited at this point.

[Oceania]

there's no blockage, it just means you're not into it. i hate when everyone makes preference into a block. it's negative thinking and THAT is a blockage. you do what feels right for heavens sakes.

---

sorry for ranting, i'm just crabby today.

[Ecz]

INFJ here, makes me feel better to hear that other people are also introverted. I was of the thinking that that was a major area of deficiency in my personality but perhaps its not.

Sometimes, like once a year I'd say - I'll have an experience where I fill the shoes of a extravert at a social gathering and get comments from my girlfriend afterward like, "Where did that come from? Every time I turned around you were laughing/talking with someone different." I think it's correlated to finding a sweet spot in alcohol consumption lol. Enough to throttle back inhibitions while not getting sloppy. This is a challenge as I don't drink often, but possible if I'm careful. Teaching guitar for 5 years has been beneficial in this respect as well, teaching me techniques to deflect "awkward" moments.

The usual outcome at social gatherings however is a feeling of being "left out" even though it's my own fault for not plugging myself into conversation. Or worse - I'll chime in somewhere and notice everyone glaze over as I speak. This leads to massive insecurity and me shutting down for the rest of the night.

[Oceania]

i'm very social but i get overloaded and have to retreat. otherwise i'd be an extrovert.