Why do wanderers have low self-esteem

[AnthroHeart]

Yes, and notice in 84.10.. "It is well to remember in the case of the mind/body/spirit that the chakras or energy centers could well be functioning without crystallization."

Very good. Strange that I'm going through this experience to find intelligent infinity. I guess on my path the crystalization is necessary.

I think we find intelligent infinity when we can be who we truly are, without judgments or any inner conflict.

I had thought crystalization was necessary because that's my experience.

[native]

Yes, being who you truly are is the only way to crystallize. It naturally involves breaking away from others and embracing your individuality or uniqueness. We each serve a purpose by being unique and it is the duty of others and ourselves to accept those aspects of ourselves while balancing them in relation to others. It's why adepts are often labeled as having a cold personality or lacking compassion, because they are moving in direct opposition to the societal mind and express truth that others aren't ready to hear. Society can only inform or teach so much about the individual before its usefulness weakens.

Most wanderers do seem to have a dual function of teaching and crystallization..especially sixth density wanderers.

[AnthroHeart]

Well, the gravitational effects of crystalizing can also be fun, and unsettling at the same time. Hope we're not getting off topic here.

[native]

I'm certainly recognizing my abilities to work with energy and visualization more and more. Your veil seems to be thinner, but there is certainly something to be said about the unsettling nature of too much being revealed too fast which I've experienced. That signifies that there is still catalyst to be integrated below indigo or perhaps simply the indigo center itself as you attempt full expression of the self.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm finding we are our own veil. All our prejudices, desires, judgments, etc, are like a buffer that keep us from knowing and being our true selves. That point where there is no divide between conscious and subconscious. Unless there is also a larger "actual veil" that I'm missing. Am I right in presuming that we create our own veil (ie The Veil)?

For me, much of my catalyst is in stories that come up through my subconscious (because I LOVE stories). Stories about my desires (freaking intense desires I never knew I had). They cause emotional responses, which I observe, and just let them ripple till they are done. By allowing, not resisting, no matter how "sick" the story, it's been my way of processing catalyst. It can be very hard because they are like pushed against you so you're forced to face your most intimate things. It gets really interesting when the characters start talking to you about what you're experiencing, and then try to help you by throwing more catalyst into the story. It's actually funny and freakishly bizarre in some ways.

[native]

I think what you're trying to say is that we are directly responsible for upholding the function of the veil when learning is ignored, which I agree with. The veil itself is independent of the mind in that it shields what is known in time/space from our conscious space/time minds, but in that way it is directly interacting with the mind's conscious awareness.

We can only know that which we make an effort to understand, so ignoring or rejecting catalyst will not allow us to pierce the veil and make contact with the unconscious. In that way you could say we 'create our own veil' or uphold or amplify it, as long as it's understood that the veil is independent of the mind.

In what form do the stories come? During dreams?

[AnthroHeart]

No, these stories are now everpresent within me (within mind). They tend to be cartoon characters I adore. And they get more sophisticated as I grow. Of course my subconscious is creating them as symbols that produce the greatest response. They aren't actually the characters, but my mind processes them as such because that has the greatest effect on my emotions.

So I'll turn my attention inward (even while sitting here, eyes open), and the character will either change color, shape, what they're saying or doing, to me, or about me, or whatever, in response to the emotional feedback I have. So if I become aroused (or have an emotional response), the character will then begin pushing that button of that emotion very intensely, developing the plot so that it has the greatest effect of pushing on me. Then, when emotional response has stilled (which can be quite difficult to accept), that catalyst is no longer needed and the character or situation disappears. Or changes to another scene.

They're like "oh, you like that, well what about this...", and then on and on till it is no longer needed. It's a gravitational attraction of these symbolic subconscious patterns to my emotional vibrations. That's why the experience is somewhat fluid in feeling. I'd say the process is quite clever and knows me all too well . What can I say, I love this work. Though it is tiring on the body.

[LightBearer4u]

Someone mentioned "not being part of the society" as a possible cause.

I see a lot of truth in this.

I for one, always intrinsically have felt like an 'outsider', in every group i've ever been part of: the first being my family. I am the youngest, and have always felt the need to 'prove' my belonging to the group, as if my approval must be acknowledged before being truly integrating myself as part of the group.

This can easily be linked to shyness, and lower ego. Also makes sense to me, that we'd need to be 'accepted' by the group before claiming to be part of it; so as not to 'impose' yourself when you're presence/light is not requested.

I don't know, I'm just trying to view this through my own perspective, and i'm not sure how much of it makes sense when I put it in words, but through my eyes, it makes perfect sense.

^_^

---

Upon reading further, i saw something that I have to agree wholly with.

This illusion of "not-belonging", and yet "knowing" you belong. These mixed feelings of "knowing" you're expected to do something great, and yet seeing how inconsequential and helpless you are. Feeling that everything is going according to plan, all is right as it should be, and yet seeing the pain and suffering and confusion of others, who curse everything and everyone for these "dark times".
All these mixed thoughts, combined with the veil of forgetfullness setup a PERFECT condition for one to retreat within themselves, and seek answers. These circumstances are the ideal trigger to look within one-self for answers; to seek communication from higher forces; the mind/body/soul must make sense out of this nonsense, and KNOWS it all makes sense, just not really how...

Wanderer or not, these illusions of 'separation' and 'confusion/helplessness' are truly a great catalyst for self-growth and self-affirmation.

This 'dance' of Up/Down, Positive/Negative, Clarity/Confusion is our main asset in this 3D experience; all one must do is see it for what it is, accept it, and follow the flow with the purest of intentions.
This is a clear way to self-activation, and wouldn't-you-know-it, it also takes care of that pesky 'low self-esteem' thing we talked about.

^_^

[native]

No, these stories are now everpresent within me (within mind). They tend to be cartoon characters I adore. And they get more sophisticated as I grow. Of course my subconscious is creating them as symbols that produce the greatest response. They aren't actually the characters, but my mind processes them as such because that has the greatest effect on my emotions.

Well it certainly sounds like you're working within the realm of visualization. Whatever works!

---

All these mixed thoughts, combined with the veil of forgetfullness setup a PERFECT condition for one to retreat within themselves, and seek answers.

It does seem reasonable doesn't it? The danger is that people will reject society and then always remain at a distance. Rejection is useful in your teen years and perhaps early twenties, but hopefully one will have deeper realizations.

[3DMonkey]

society stinks