Searching

[Nyu]

Hello!

I have recently come across the Ra material and the writings resonated strongly within my spirit, so I felt the need to contact others who it has also affected.

I am not sure who or what I am exactly. Am I a wanderer, or simply a 3rd-entity trying to find the 4th? All I know right now is that for my entire life I have felt intense alienation from society, and a feeling of being different somehow (as have others here that I see). I've always been an outsider looking at life rather than a participant, and what I am seeing lately is not pretty.

I've been searching for something "more" for a while now, as the worries of the world had been filling me with so much depression and a sense of hopelessness that I couldn't take it anymore. I even had a loud voice in my head that would tell me to kill myself because I don't belong and I am worthless to society - I now believe that I know what that voice is, and since then it has lessened, although not gone entirely.

My mother is very much a spiritual being, so I grew up with spirituality as a part of every day life, and in my teenage years I had some pretty strange dreams (mostly of leaving the earth, parallel worlds, higher beings, wormhole travel etc). However I was young and naive and I didn't want to be "different", I wanted to experience the world so I ran away from my spiritual side and closed it off, and it has been dormant for around 15 years now.

I have a son too, and I know every mother thinks their child is special, but I think mine truly is a different soul also. Like myself, my mother and my brother too, he has intense alienation from society, problems with being bullied not only by other children but by teachers as well for being "different". It's very heart breaking to see, and he is not even a teenager yet but already feels like he doesn't belong on this planet, doesn't understand why he is here and wishes he wasn't here. So my search isn't just to help myself, but to figure out the best way to help him find out who he is also.

A few people had urged me to look up David Icke, so I had a flick through of his site and came across David Wilcock. During a brief flick-through of his writings I saw him mention "The Law of One" and something inside me buzzed at seeing those words, so I went searching further and when I came across the Ra material, it was like turning on a light switch and my heart began to vibrate quite strongly. What I have read so far has been so fulfilling and insightful, I feel very grateful for having found it.

Since early adulthood, every so often I experience periods of lucid dreaming, and sleep paralysis where I will be trapped in bed and having negative beings crawling on me or whispering things to make me frightened.
A very frightening experience happened to me 2 nights ago (which is what has compelled me to come seeking others), where I was in a dream and then the dream became lucid (I had conscious control over the dream), but then something jumped into my mind and took control of me and in the dream I couldn't talk or scream or control my hands (it was like sleep paralysis but another level past the dream state instead of being between the dream state and being awake - if that makes sense), and I tried to get help but people just stared at me like I was insane because I was unable to communicate what was going on. But I fought and fought and fought, and after a few minutes I got control back and was able to wake up.

During the evening before this experience I had a profound conscious breakthrough in my understanding of what it means to become self-aware. When the thought happened a very large blue light flashed above my head. I feel there might be some kind of relationship between the breakthrough and the attack, but I am not certain. I wonder if these attacks happen because my mind is weak somehow and I need to figure out how to strengthen it. If there is any advice anyone can give on mind-strengthening exercises, I would be very appreciative, but I also understand that learning comes from within so I will keep on trying.

The point of me coming here and sharing a piece of myself with you is to firstly thank Don, Carla and Jim from the very bottom of my heart for this material, and to thank the Ra social memory complex for sharing their knowledge with us. It has changed my life from the minute I began reading.

Secondly, I am so pleased to find other people out there who are changed by this material also, or who are seeking a higher purpose in general. You remind me of the goodness and the hope that is still in the world, and that no matter how alone I feel sometimes I am definitely not. So thank you also, and I can't wait to keep reading more of this site and reading everyone's experiences.

Love and light. Adonai.

[Ankh]

Ah you, beautiful soul, thank you for sharing! I got tears in my eyes reading it. Welcome home!

[kycahi]

Welcome back, Nyu. Your words resonate with lots of us here.

I have been blessed with protection from the stuff you have experienced, but I know it is real. Look among the threads, current and past, for good info. The best source of protection info, that I'm aware of is Carla, so do some research in her writings. Probably her Channeler's Handbook is a good starting place. Did you talk to your mom about this?

Blessings to you and your family.

[norral]

welcome home brother. we embrace u with love. as far as protection goes u can ask the archangel michael and his angels for protection at any time. he is the archangel who is involved with protection . if u ask before u go to sleep for protection from negative entities u will be protected

norral

[kia]

Welcome Nyu! Thank you for being here at this time

[Confused]

Thank you for blessing us with your radiant presence, Nyu. Profound gratitude to you. And I am sure that as you girdle yourself with spiritual understanding and power, your son too will be influenced to seek out the true purpose of his presence at this time on earth. It could just be as simple as acting as a radiator of the ONE's love & light at this unique time in earth's history or something more dramatic for all the world to see. Whatever it is, may the ONE be glorified.

[Aaron]

Hello and thank you!! It's great to have you here.

[Unbound]

Welcome! May your passings be of peace, adonai.

[Nyu]

Thank you for your kindness everyone!! I feel honored to be welcomed so warmly and will definitely check out Carla's work for protection info.

Years ago my mum gave me The Keys of Enoch. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the book, it is something I think I must go back and re-read with new understandings, but she told me when I was young to put it under my pillow when I sleep (it's a pretty thick book btw, so it isn't that comfortable haha). Last night I did so in the hopes that it might help protect me, and before I slept I chanted something from it that is "Kodoish Kodoish Kodoish, Adonai Tsebayoth" - which I believe means "holy holy holy the lord of hosts" (correct me if my understanding isn't right), for a few minutes and then visualised being blanketed in warm white light. And I can report that I had a very interesting sleep filled with lucid-dream adventuring all night long with no attacks, and I actually woke up feeling rested for a change!

So I will keep that up and hopefully it will do the trick!

Thank you again! <3

[Meerie]

Welcome to the forum, Nyu!
There is a "dream thread" on "life on planet earth", if you ever feel the need to share a dream you have had.

[Ankh]

I've had countless psychic greetings in all kind of forms. In my dreams it is usually done by what I call Shadows. Last time it happened about 1-2 months ago and was quite different, and since then I haven't had any encounters in my dreams anymore.

As usual, in that last dream, I was surrounded by these Shadows who evoked pain and fear, and then I think their Master appeared, in short, situation got to the point of me not being able to handle it anymore. And suddenly there appeared a thought in my mind, like an implant: "Call the angels". Now, I have been skeptic about the concept of the angels before I read the below Q'uo session, because I thought that the angels were a concept made up by christians who idolized and aggrandized past human souls. I couldn't be more wrong and actually got tears in my eyes when Q'uo explained who they are. (Maybe now people think, reading my posts in this thread, that I am a some kind of cry baby I don't cry often, but I do get tears in my eyes when I am deeply moved or touched =))

So, then I called them, and instantly there appeared bright light which dispelled Shadows, pain, fear etc, and I felt ebuilent joy, like a laughter. Then they woke me up, and I could still sense them in the room. It was magical.

Anyway, here is the session, maybe it can help you as well.

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0212.aspx

[Brittany]

Hi and welcome!

And here you were saying on my thread that you never had interesting dreams! Sometimes it is the nightmares we can learn the most from. My experiences with night terrors and sleep paralysis have contributed a lot to my learning how to build shields and deal with negative visits in a positive way. In time I've come to find their efforts humorous. They're like that trusty sidekick that never leaves your side...and tries to kill you while you sleep. Sort of like Gollum in Lord of the Rings. Lol.

Feel free to express yourself on here and welcome to the family!

[kycahi]

Way to go, Ankh! Don't worry about making tears. We now have a high member of the U.S. government who cries in front of cameras, and he's MALE.

I find my throat closing during movie scenes sometimes. That's pretty good for a guy. It is not always sad scenes, too. Sometimes the writing and performance of a critical part move me. Sometimes when I tell a story, I'll choke while telling it. That will embarrass a little, but I just let it happen anyway.

[Nyu]

Haha you guys are funny, I cry at ANYTHING. Granted I'm a girl and I'm meant to but its fairly annoying. I've always been over sensitive and people sometimes get angry at me for it.

I know of the angels though, learning about them was a big part of my upbringing, but like you I thought they were just a christian thing, but now I'm thinking they are other-dimensional beings. My mum has always communicated with them and she told me when I get the flashes of light its them. Lately I have been getting flashes of blue light very often, several times per day. Sometimes its white, but not often, and sometimes its black but that's very very rare. Does anyone else get the lights?

[Raman]

Haha you guys are funny, I cry at ANYTHING. Granted I'm a girl and I'm meant to but its fairly annoying. I've always been over sensitive and people sometimes get angry at me for it.

I know of the angels though, learning about them was a big part of my upbringing, but like you I thought they were just a christian thing, but now I'm thinking they are other-dimensional beings. My mum has always communicated with them and she told me when I get the flashes of light its them. Lately I have been getting flashes of blue light very often, several times per day. Sometimes its white, but not often, and sometimes its black but that's very very rare. Does anyone else get the lights?

White yes and black as well although never blue.

[Meerie]

The Arcturians are sending flashes or beams of blue light, allegedly.
I am getting blue myself these days a lot... sometimes when I sit with my eyes closed and I open them everything around me suddenly has a tinge of blue.
I think it has to do with discovering intuition and intuitive knowledge.

[Nyu]

oh really?? I have no clue who sends it, I wonder if it has something to do with my spirit guide, coz I still have no clue who that is. I've never had the tinge of blue though, just flashes, sometimes small and bright, other times large but duller in colour. I should look into the Arcturians and see if anything resonates for me with it.

[Meerie]

http://www.scribd.com/doc/12406448/Conne...ansExcerpt
There is some info from the book "connecting with the Arcturians".

[Ankh]

I find my throat closing during movie scenes sometimes.

Oh well, I might as well admit it. I get lot of tears in our local food store. Where we usually sit down and eat after the shopping is done there is a desk of information where the lost children cry when they loose their parents. Our store is huge as an airport so it happens quite a lot. And every time I see a reunion, I must look away, otherwise, people around might wonder if my food was that bad that I had to cry while eating it. And airports!! Ah! There is so much sadness and joy in those places...

[kycahi]

O thou very green person, Ankh!

[Nyu]

I don't fully understand what the colours mean, I get red lol.. yellow, orange, green I'm not totally sure what aspects they are representative of, I think indigo is higher self and violet is the nearest perfection you can get to as the creator itself is white, is that right? (I mean colours of ourselves, not those lights I was talking about before).

Ahktu you sound very empathetic, and I can tell right away you are a very remarkable spirit. Even though you are words on a screen from my perspective, I find myself very endeared to you. I'm not just trying to be nice I promise haha, I don't know what it is but I see purity in you and that gives me a sense of joy. So like the being in your dream said, don't ever change!

I am overly empathetic in lots of ways too, like if I hear a story about someone being hurt (especially children or animals) I cry. Even THINKING about it I get choked up lol. Talking about any aspect of the painful things in my past I get upset, even though I've moved on from it, having to remember makes me upset. If I see anyone get upset I cry for them too. I don't know why and it has always caused other people to get annoyed with me coz they don't understand it. I don't even understand it. I've always wished I could be less emotional but I don't know how.

[norral]

dear sister

it sounds like u are an empath. there are many on this site. here is a link to a site devoted to empaths

http://mysilentecho.com/


norral

[kycahi]

I don't fully understand what the colours mean, I get red lol..

Throughout the Law of One books, Ra talks about colors and levels and octaves. So I derived my own list of the "seven levels of consciousness" to keep them straight. The primary colors that have names in most languages are parts of a continuous spectrum of visible light. Likewise, the levels of consciousness are continuous yet primary and identifiable. Those who see them give corresponding colors to our "energy centers" called chakras, from the Sanskrit.

The first level goes with the primary color red and has the first glimmering of consciousness as in rocks and minerals. I throw viruses into that category just to put them somewhere. It goes with our "base" chakra of survival.

The second, orange level is awareness of self. This is animals and plants. Ra says that each level of consciousness gets pulled forward to the next level, so those second level entities get pulled toward awareness of others. Some animals mate for life, for example. This color chakra associates with sex.

We pull our pets toward our awareness, the third, yellow level, which has awareness of others. We are pulled toward green. Humans are living in the "third density" and pass through seven sub-densities which happen to be divided into guess how many sub levels.

The fourth, green level is where we and our planet rapidly are headed. It is the compassion level. The heart chakra is this color. Greenies are pulled onward toward the blue fifth level, where compassion gets tempered by wisdom. The sixth level represented by indigo is kind of vague to me. Ra calls it the sacred, so to me it gets consciousness past wisdom into areas that Ra knows well but I don't claim to. The seventh, violet level is the consciousness of summing up and getting ready for the "return to the one." Its chakra is, I think, on our crown.

Having these levels in mind helped me follow the Ra material better and give a vocabulary that we use on these forums. You will see that others have slightly different definitions and usages.

[Ankh]

On the other hand, colours mentioned by Ra might have been used because they were already pre-existing in Carla's mind and the knowledge she had about the chakra system. The knowledge of the chakra system was brought to the Western world from the East in 18-th century (I think). When it was done the colours in that system were changed to colours of the rainbow. And that is what Ra might have used as it was an already pre-existing knowledge in Carla's mind, in order to make themselves understandable. Personally I never acknowledge that system until I discovered Ra material, and used instead four elements and their colours all the way up to the heart nexi. And in that system the colours are - brown (for Earth), indigo (for water/ocean), blue (for air/sky) and yeallow (for fire/sun). Each colour has it's own vibration of course and depending of the blockages in the each nexi the colour can differ. Yellow can for instance appear as both orange and red depending on possible/probable blockages. I think it is as much important to find the personal/individual meaning of the colours as it is to discover the social/collective meaning.

[Nyu]

dear sister

it sounds like u are an empath. there are many on this site. here is a link to a site devoted to empaths

http://mysilentecho.com/


norral

Oh thanks for that!! I will check it out

[Sacred Fool]

During the evening before this experience I had a profound conscious breakthrough in my understanding of what it means to become self-aware. When the thought happened a very large blue light flashed above my head. I feel there might be some kind of relationship between the breakthrough and the attack, but I am not certain. I wonder if these attacks happen because my mind is weak somehow and I need to figure out how to strengthen it. If there is any advice anyone can give on mind-strengthening exercises, I would be very appreciative, but I also understand that learning comes from within so I will keep on trying.

Hi, Nyu.

You might find it useful to think of these sorts of advances paired with challenges as both ways of testing your commitment to what you know in your heart to be true as well as opportunities to deepen your faith in your own process of spiritual growth. Ra comments several times that greater awareness is then challenged this way so that it may become more balanced and deeply seated within oneself. Thinking of it this way helps me keep focused upon my goal...to the extent that I am able to do so.

[Tenet Nosce]

Hello!

Greetings, Nyu. And welcome!

Am I a wanderer, or simply a 3rd-entity trying to find the 4th?

I have found this line of inquiry to lead to both greater awareness and greater confusion.

A few people had urged me to look up David Icke, so I had a flick through of his site and came across David Wilcock.

I have found these lines of inquiry to lead to both greater awareness and greater confusion.

I feel there might be some kind of relationship between the breakthrough and the attack, but I am not certain. I wonder if these attacks happen because my mind is weak somehow and I need to figure out how to strengthen it. If there is any advice anyone can give on mind-strengthening exercises, I would be very appreciative, but I also understand that learning comes from within so I will keep on trying.

I suspect that penetrating intelligent infinity from within the 3D illusion/veil necessitates the equal and opposite opportunity for negative contact. I have found the mental exercises most appropriate to these experiences to be the practices of awareness, discernment, acceptance, and forgiveness.