A question for the advanced

[zedro]

However, neglecting the lower when striving towards upper balance would be folly, and should be considered to be spiritual bypassing; a potentially dangerous state of lower-upper imbalance...

Just to tack on a thought here, a wanderer from an higher density would already be advanced in the higher energy centers and would not be coming here for that kind of work.  If the lower area seeks and the higher area is that which is sought, then the opportunity here is to further tune the seeking in the lower energy centers.
From this perspective, one might do well to seek diligently to find in these lower centers the vibrations which most closely correspond to what one most deeply is.  I.e., in 3D one has greater opportunity to purify the desire to seek and to serve.  The experience in the higher centers, in some sense, is all built upon the intensity of the lower yearning, as the higher answers the call of the lower.  In the same sense--speaking in symbolic terms--the feminine responds to the seeking of the masculine.
  

In the case of the higher density wanderer who is living a 3D life behind the veil, lower balancing is simply a necessity thru normal living, especially if you have garnered interest from the negative polarity entities who would love nothing more than to compromise and block one from service. The consequence is being "f***** with" for being here in service seems to be common, so many wanderers have to deal with very difficult circumstances (internal/external) which lead to these distortions. I understand most consider this to be a chosen incarnational challenge to improve oneself (this is a side effect no matter what), but for some it is simply the price of admission of parachuting into the 'spiritual war', a gamble fraught with pitfalls to make it to the time of service, but in the meantime getting beat up in the waiting room. So while the wanderer has experience to be extremely resiliant, they would not be exempt from battle damage, that coming in the form of lower energy center issues. And without that lower balancing, accessing the higher centers would be too risky/dangerous because they are naturally developed, so they get limited/closed down by the higher self or SMC.

[LeiwoUnion]

However, neglecting the lower when striving towards upper balance would be folly, and should be considered to be spiritual bypassing; a potentially dangerous state of lower-upper imbalance...

Just to tack on a thought here, a wanderer from an higher density would already be advanced in the higher energy centers and would not be coming here for that kind of work.

Perhaps or perhaps not; I can only speak of my own perception. Distilling from that information I can see value in higher energy center work under the thick 3D veil. Reaching points of clarity here, must be valued highly in the higher realms; why would, for example, buddhist traditions or secluded hermit work be so valuable otherwise? Can't be the lessons for graduating into 4th density, no? While wanderers must show their willingness to be of service of the planet in their contract, they still come here with the expectation of also refining their own, and their group's, spiritual evolution. When everything is clouded and you manage to see something, it can be envisioned more intensely, with greater focus. This is my understanding.

In the case of the higher density wanderer who is living a 3D life behind the veil, lower balancing is simply a necessity thru normal living, especially if you have garnered interest from the negative polarity entities who would love nothing more than to compromise and block one from service. The consequence is being "f***** with" for being here in service seems to be common, so many wanderers have to deal with very difficult circumstances (internal/external) which lead to these distortions. I understand most consider this to be a chosen incarnational challenge to improve oneself (this is a side effect no matter what), but for some it is simply the price of admission of parachuting into the 'spiritual war', a gamble fraught with pitfalls to make it to the time of service, but in the meantime getting beat up in the waiting room. So while the wanderer has experience to be extremely resiliant, they would not be exempt from battle damage, that coming in the form of lower energy center issues. And without that lower balancing, accessing the higher centers would be too risky/dangerous because they are naturally developed, so they get limited/closed down by the higher self or SMC.

Well said; this also leads to the fact that around the time of Ra contact only 10% or so of wanderers became aware of their mission, even though there are a staggering amount of skilful magicians and other occult practitioners who should have no problem tapping into 'the stream of truth'.

[Ohr Ein Sof]

However, neglecting the lower when striving towards upper balance would be folly, and should be considered to be spiritual bypassing; a potentially dangerous state of lower-upper imbalance...

Just to tack on a thought here, a wanderer from an higher density would already be advanced in the higher energy centers and would not be coming here for that kind of work.  If the lower area seeks and the higher area is that which is sought, then the opportunity here is to further tune the seeking in the lower energy centers.
From this perspective, one might do well to seek diligently to find in these lower centers the vibrations which most closely correspond to what one most deeply is.  I.e., in 3D one has greater opportunity to purify the desire to seek and to serve.  The experience in the higher centers, in some sense, is all built upon the intensity of the lower yearning, as the higher answers the call of the lower.  In the same sense--speaking in symbolic terms--the feminine responds to the seeking of the masculine.
  

6th density wanderers come to balance wisdom with love and vice versa

[zedro]

6th density wanderers come to balance wisdom with love and vice versa

That's one situation/reason, Ra did not describe all the reasons they are here. Some may be more outwardly functional, and not necessarily for internal growth, not that the latter can be escaped.

[Sacred Fool]

However, neglecting the lower when striving towards upper balance would be folly, and should be considered to be spiritual bypassing; a potentially dangerous state of lower-upper imbalance...

 
Just to tack on a thought here, a wanderer from an higher density would already be advanced in the higher energy centers and would not be coming here for that kind of work.  If the lower area seeks and the higher area is that which is sought, then the opportunity here is to further tune the seeking in the lower energy centers.

From this perspective, one might do well to seek diligently to find in these lower centers the vibrations which most closely correspond to what one most deeply is.  I.e., in 3D one has greater opportunity to purify the desire to seek and to serve.  The experience in the higher centers, in some sense, is all built upon the intensity of the lower yearning, as the higher answers the call of the lower.  In the same sense--speaking in symbolic terms--the feminine responds to the seeking of the masculine.
  

In the case of the higher density wanderer who is living a 3D life behind the veil, lower balancing is simply a necessity thru normal living, especially if you have garnered interest from the negative polarity entities who would love nothing more than to compromise and block one from service.

 
What you say is quite true in the context of climbing up the mountain, what I noted is true in the context of trekking back down.
When one is sailing the sea of randomness, buffeted by catalyst and seeking.....seeking.....  Then one does well to balance the vortices and maelstroms of inner discord as one seeks for smoother water.  But when one has found the treasure of the inner self, then one perceives those odysseys of seeking differently.  One feels the yearning at each level of consciousness and desires to answer each calling of hope and hopelessness with that which is sought, to wit: Love.

6th density wanderers come to balance wisdom with love and vice versa

There is one other factor Confederation sources teach that higher density entities seek to balance.  That is power.  One could say that the right use of love, the right use of wisdom, the right use of power is to offer love to those who seek (as well as to those aspects of self which seek), for what they most deeply seek is their own deepest expressions of love.  Why is this?  It is because these are the vibrations of self which most nearly match the vibrations of infinity, the vibrations of the Creatrix in her fullest beauty.

This is why, one might suppose, the purification of seeking in the lower levels of consciousness is so precious.
   
  

[Indiken]

Just to tack on a thought here, a wanderer from an higher density would already be advanced in the higher energy centers and would not be coming here for that kind of work.  If the lower area seeks and the higher area is that which is sought, then the opportunity here is to further tune the seeking in the lower energy centers.
From this perspective, one might do well to seek diligently to find in these lower centers the vibrations which most closely correspond to what one most deeply is.  I.e., in 3D one has greater opportunity to purify the desire to seek and to serve.  The experience in the higher centers, in some sense, is all built upon the intensity of the lower yearning, as the higher answers the call of the lower.  In the same sense--speaking in symbolic terms--the feminine responds to the seeking of the masculine.
  

I think I am shy, speak low voice, have many fears and feel physically weak, have low energy levels. Yet I have very strong will, determination, a good looking body and people say I am beatifull.
When I did read Ra Material, I thought that I need to strenghten my lower centers. I still think so. As I understand, I want to feel more safe(red), feel powerfull to withstand one on one rough people(orange), have a role in the society(yellow). I feel green is too bright and active(compassion). Blue is strong(sincere communication). Indigo I do not know.
I think it is hard to fit for me, because I would not want to hurt or insult anyone. When I will accept that if needed for myself I can threathen others and show that I will defend myself fully, perhaps then I will be of more balance. But this will be power relationship, which I do not want to have. Yet can there be an equal relationship between non equals?

[Indiken]

With full respect and best wishes.

One more thought from me.

I read the comments and have the feeling that people are simply wandering in the intellectual sea.

I do not understand why the thread moves to the "wanderer".

What is the difference if You are a wanderer or You are not?

I see none.

It does not matter at all.

You still have to live a life.

What are You trying to achieve this way?

Perhaps, You want to think that You are a wanderer.

This way one would feel special.

I read the comments and I lack substance in the answers.

There are many analogies and abstract reasoning.

It is my fault.

I am not that smart after all.

I ask more "technical" detail on how energy centers work, where are they found, how to "tap" into them.

I think I have experience with "crystallization" of an energy center(Red ray). It related to my practice of Daoist alchemy. Yet Daoist Alchemy do not talk about these energy centers. The crystallization was of red ray in the tail bone. I simply concentrated there and was feeling intense pleasurable pain at the point. This feeling looked very "metalish" to me. The more I concentrated the more safe and stable I felt. It was an interesting experience.

Another experience I have with blue ray. It is located in the middle of the back of the neck. When I concentrated strongly on thoughts about not speaking,
I had a feeling, what I would call a "dispersion" of the energy - many tinglings at the one point in the middle of the neck.

The third experience comes from saying affirmations - "I am safe", "I am strong". After a while I felt more safe and stable. An there was a light feeling the tailbone and sacrum.

Anyway, Thank You for replying.

[Dtris]

With full respect and best wishes.

One more thought from me.

I read the comments and have the feeling that people are simply wandering in the intellectual sea.

I do not understand why the thread moves to the "wanderer".

What is the difference if You are a wanderer or You are not?

I see none.

It does not matter at all.

You still have to live a life.

What are You trying to achieve this way?

Perhaps, You want to think that You are a wanderer.

This way one would feel special.

I read the comments and I lack substance in the answers.

There are many analogies and abstract reasoning.

It is my fault.

I am not that smart after all.

I ask more "technical" detail on how energy centers work, where are they found, how to "tap" into them.

I think I have experience with "crystallization" of an energy center(Red ray). It related to my practice of Daoist alchemy. Yet Daoist Alchemy do not talk about these energy centers. The crystallization was of red ray in the tail bone. I simply concentrated there and was feeling intense pleasurable pain at the point. This feeling looked very "metalish" to me. The more I concentrated the more safe and stable I felt. It was an interesting experience.

Another experience I have with blue ray. It is located in the middle of the back of the neck. When I concentrated strongly on thoughts about not speaking,
I had a feeling, what I would call a "dispersion" of the energy - many tinglings at the one point in the middle of the neck.

The third experience comes from saying affirmations - "I am safe", "I am strong". After a while I felt more safe and stable. An there was a light feeling the tailbone and sacrum.

Anyway, Thank You for replying.

Any energy work, whether it is Daoist, Buddhist, or Western Magic, will work with the energy centers. There is direct work with these centers in Daoist alchemy they are just referred to in different ways. When you practice the microcosmic orbit you are working on balancing the energy centers. There is also indirect work such as affirmations and other practices.

The exact balance of these centers will differ for each individual. Even activation or crystallization is not necessarily the goal or desirable. What is important is that the balancing, whether done directly thru meditation or indirectly thru emotional work, should result in changes in mood, beliefs, and behaviors that enhance your life and make you more truly who you are.

[Indiken]

There is direct work with these centers in Daoist alchemy they are just referred to in different ways. When you practice the microcosmic orbit you are working on balancing the energy centers. There is also indirect work such as affirmations and other practices.

Thank You.

Could you elaborate more? Please, say all the things You know, if they are shareable. I think You only scratched the surface.

I too think, that balance is what is needed more now.

Yet the balance is not a goal.

One moves higher and higher.

The balance means the adjustment to different.

When balance is achieved, time to move forward.

Hence a new disbalance occurs.

[zedro]

What is the difference if You are a wanderer or You are not?

I see none.

It does not matter at all.

You still have to live a life.

What are You trying to achieve this way?

Perhaps, You want to think that You are a wanderer.

This way one would feel special.

Threads drift as needed, but to answer the above:

Ones past/spiritual makeup can put into context the incarnational issues/goals that one may have and put things into a different perspective. Now does that make the solution sets different between an earthseed vs starseed...well maybe, but not necessarily, the tools may be the same, but it can explain some events/experiences one is having, the difficulties, the karmic realities, and the relationships you may have with other entities, both here and in the other planes. Its not about being more special, no more than a mercenary vs a native, or a man vs a woman, it's a circumstantial and perhaps archetypal difference. People here talk from their perspectives and experiences, and some will share from their academic study. Just take what resonates.

You presented some personal experiences, and some information about yourself, and asked what it all could mean....no one can tell you for sure, but while your specific experiences are unique the over-arching situation is not, and so some tangential perspectives were shared. How you interpret them is up to you. You are early in the new leg of the journey, so things may not make much sense yet, but they will.

[Sacred Fool]

I read the comments and have the feeling that people are simply wandering in the intellectual sea.

  
What would be a good alternative?
By the way, what's the point of balancing the energy centers?  Is it for the purpose of getting along more easily in the world?
It could, but the context Ra discusses this in is learning to become a healer or otherwise focusing one's dedication to serve.  This aspect should maybe not be overlooked, in my view.
   

[Indiken]

Threads drift as needed, but to answer the above:

Ones past/spiritual makeup can put into context the incarnational issues/goals that one may have and put things into a different perspective. Now does that make the solution sets different between an earthseed vs starseed...well maybe, but not necessarily, the tools may be the same, but it can explain some events/experiences one is having, the difficulties, the karmic realities, and the relationships you may have with other entities, both here and in the other planes. Its not about being more special, no more than a mercenary vs a native, or a man vs a woman, it's a circumstantial and perhaps archetypal difference. People here talk from their perspectives and experiences, and some will share from their academic study. Just take what resonates.

You presented some personal experiences, and some information about yourself, and asked what it all could mean....no one can tell you for sure, but while your specific experiences are unique the over-arching situation is not, and so some tangential perspectives were shared. How you interpret them is up to you. You are early in the new leg of the journey, so things may not make much sense yet, but they will.

Understood the meaning.
I am very thankfull for the love I have received here.
I do not want to insult or hurt anyone.

[zedro]

I do not want to insult or hurt anyone.

You need not worry, you are being respectful. Also feeling insulted is the responsibility of the reader, although the interaction will play out depending on the boundaries one sets.

BTW as an example, the above concern you have would represent some orange and yellow ray blockages, shadow work would seek to discover why this is a leading concern (it may seem obvious on the surface, but it isn't, as having that on your mind suggests some issues to be processed). Having balanced lower energy centers would feel like freedom 'from', and interactions would just flow like water, unconcerned with the obstacles and consequences, but still observant and cognizant of ones actions and surroundings.

[Indiken]

What would be a good alternative?
By the way, what's the point of balancing the energy centers?  Is it for the purpose of getting along more easily in the world?
It could, but the context Ra discusses this in is learning to become a healer or otherwise focusing one's dedication to serve.  This aspect should maybe not be overlooked, in my view.
   

Thank You for Your questions.
These questions make me think.

I think all alternatives are good.
I just offered my honest opinion in return to the comments.
One of the alternatives would be just throw this stuff out.
The material and the forum.
First one should ask question of oneself why do one do this?

If I could, I would heal everyone.
The balancing is a sidequest.
The balancing would be of use to achieve things what I think I cannot do now.
Things I desire, but am afraid to do.
For example, to find a girlfriend.
Now I think, who can be with me, when I am like this.
A very shy person, who only likes to talk about metaphysics.

When I wrote my first post, I did not want to know the meaning of my experiences.
I simply wanted to share my thoughts.
It was an irrational desire, deep from the being.

[zedro]

If I could, I would heal everyone.
The balancing is a sidequest.
The balancing would be of use to achieve things what I think I cannot do now.
Things I desire, but am afraid to do.

You just pointed out why balancing is not a side quest, you cannot heal others without healing yourself. This is the fundamental nature of balancing the lower energy centers, it is healing.

[Indiken]

You need not worry, you are being respectful. Also feeling insulted is the responsibility of the reader, although the interaction will play out depending on the boundaries one sets.

BTW as an example, the above concern you have would represent some orange and yellow ray blockages, shadow work would seek to discover why this is a leading concern (it may seem obvious on the surface, but it isn't, as having that on your mind suggests some issues to be processed). Having balanced lower energy centers would feel like freedom 'from', and interactions would just flow like water, unconcerned with the obstacles and consequences, but still observant and cognizant of ones actions and surroundings.

I do not know, maybe I am walking in the middle of an open mine field and the snipers are watching.
No one seems to open himself here, expect me.
Maybe this is the lession I want to learn, to minimize my sincerity and openess.

[Sacred Fool]

I do not know, maybe I am walking in the middle of an open mine field and the snipers are watching.
No one seems to open himself here, expect me.
Maybe this is the lession I want to learn, to minimize my sincerity and openess.

Maybe.  Maybe not.

Take your time, travel at your own pace.  You'll find your way as you wander along.

That's all any of can do, right?
   

[Indiken]

You need not worry, you are being respectful. Also feeling insulted is the responsibility of the reader, although the interaction will play out depending on the boundaries one sets.

BTW as an example, the above concern you have would represent some orange and yellow ray blockages, shadow work would seek to discover why this is a leading concern (it may seem obvious on the surface, but it isn't, as having that on your mind suggests some issues to be processed). Having balanced lower energy centers would feel like freedom 'from', and interactions would just flow like water, unconcerned with the obstacles and consequences, but still observant and cognizant of ones actions and surroundings.

Ok, I will say this.
I do have a desire to hurt others and myself. A huge desire. (Interestingly as I said this, I felt energy pressure in the sacrum).
The more I try to put this away, the more it returns back.
It is very deep, but I repress this.
When I have these thoughts, my third eye area feels strange.
I can handle this.
This continues many years.
If it continues forever I am ok with that.

[Indiken]

You need not worry, you are being respectful. Also feeling insulted is the responsibility of the reader, although the interaction will play out depending on the boundaries one sets.

BTW as an example, the above concern you have would represent some orange and yellow ray blockages, shadow work would seek to discover why this is a leading concern (it may seem obvious on the surface, but it isn't, as having that on your mind suggests some issues to be processed). Having balanced lower energy centers would feel like freedom 'from', and interactions would just flow like water, unconcerned with the obstacles and consequences, but still observant and cognizant of ones actions and surroundings.

Ok, I will say this.
I do have a desire to hurt others and myself. A huge desire. (Interestingly as I said this, I felt energy pressure in the sacrum).
And eccentric thoughts. Ra talks about this as orange blockage, if I understand correctly.
The more I try to put this away, the more it returns back.
It is very deep, but I repress this.
When I have these thoughts, my third eye area feels strange.
I can handle this.
This continues many years.
If it continues forever I am ok with that.

[zedro]

No one seems to open himself here, expect me.

I would say this is a biased viewpoint based on expectations (interesting synchronous typo you wrote above), but not non-typical from where you are coming from. Keep in mind, the indirectness may seem evasive, but it is very topical as there is a certain neutrality that people who teach try to maintain, because the personal nature of problems are only symptoms, and are not necessarily the Crux of the matter, which is that to discover and focus on. This is why people are recommending balancing, and that is work only you can ultimately accomplish. The forum is litered with personal experiences and tools for healing, it may just take some work to find answers and solutions that suit you. Nobody has a magic wand here, nor would you want them to. Some rudimentary advice is present however, it's up to you to pursue.

I will search for and post here my shadow work method from another thread.

[Patrick]

Ok, I will say this.
I do have a desire to hurt others and myself. A huge desire. (Interestingly as I said this, I felt energy pressure in the sacrum).
The more I try to put this away, the more it returns back.
It is very deep, but I repress this.
When I have these thoughts, my third eye area feels strange.
I can handle this.
This continues many years.
If it continues forever I am ok with that.

It's possible that this is like hammering iron to make a useful tool. You want to hammer your self and your other-selves in order to iron out the impurities.

If that is the case, then it becomes a matter of finding a way of doing this same work that also happens to align with the Law of One in its more positive manifestations.

[Indiken]

I would say this is a biased viewpoint based on expectations (interesting synchronous typo you wrote above)

I will search for and post here my shadow work method from another thread.

Are there "non biased" viewpoints?

Yes, to drive the point home.

[Indiken]

It's possible that this is like hammering iron to make a useful tool. You want to hammer your self and your other-selves in order to iron out the impurities.

If that is the case, then it becomes a matter of finding a way of doing this same work that also happens to align with the Law of One in its more positive manifestations.

Yes, that is exactly what I want to do.
Ra says the way is imagination.
But I am not satisfied with that.

[zedro]

Ok, I will say this.
I do have a desire to hurt others and myself. A huge desire. (Interestingly as I said this, I felt energy pressure in the sacrum).
And eccentric thoughts. Ra talks about this as orange blockage, if I understand correctly.
The more I try to put this away, the more it returns back.
It is very deep, but I repress this.
When I have these thoughts, my third eye area feels strange.
I can handle this.
This continues many years.
If it continues forever I am ok with that

The fact that you try to repress these thoughts yet they keep surfacing (and reacting energetically) to me suggests that you absolutely need to deal with them, to expose, discern, dismantle and heal yourself from them. The thoughts themselves are just symptoms, the goal is to find the root and untangle it, and sometimes that may all be that is required (well self Acceptance/forgiveness is, but that needs to happen organically and not in a contrived way...some people can make daily affirmations work, for others it's just a form of bypassing). These thoughts are obviously invasive, and the distraction (to put it mildly) will absolutely hinder achieving higher activations, or just generally feeling well adjusted in mundane terms. As I pointed out before, this is typical, the exactitude of your thoughts is only relevant to you in processing them. Keep in mind, this can be a very uncomfortable process, just try to keep a practical approach and avoid the pitfalls of self judgement, because the key to acceptance is ultimately understanding what truly matters, and some things 'just are', and need no validation or scorn.

There are better 'academics' here than me to point you to appropriate Law of One passages (and other sources) which are indeed helpful to ones perspective, but I will offer you what was elemental in my healing, which is not entirely different from your case. The link below is a post I made for my shadow exercises, and the thread itself is useful in this respect as well.

https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...#pid286784

[Patrick]

It's possible that this is like hammering iron to make a useful tool. You want to hammer your self and your other-selves in order to iron out the impurities.

If that is the case, then it becomes a matter of finding a way of doing this same work that also happens to align with the Law of One in its more positive manifestations.

Yes, that is exactly what I want to do.
Ra says the way is imagination.
But I am not satisfied with that.

I would say it is only a matter of perspective to become fully satisfied with doing this work within imagination only.

The reason is that everything is imagination. We are dancing thoughts.

So with enough discipline of the personality, you can reach a point of view where doing this within your imagination becomes all that is needed.

For example, after having purified your self via imagination, your point of view will start switching and be able to perceive the more purified version of your self that was always there but that you could not see.

Basically, what needs hammering is not really your self or your other-selves per se, rather it is your perspective that needs hammering.

[Indiken]

The fact that you try to repress these thoughts yet they keep surfacing (and reacting energetically) to me suggests that you absolutely need to deal with them, to expose, discern, dismantle and heal yourself from them. The thoughts themselves are just symptoms, the goal is to find the root and untangle it, and sometimes that may all be that is required (well self Acceptance/forgiveness is, but that needs to happen organically and not in a contrived way...some people can make daily affirmations work, for others it's just a form of bypassing). These thoughts are obviously invasive, and the distraction (to put it mildly) will absolutely hinder achieving higher activations, or just generally feeling well adjusted in mundane terms. As I pointed out before, this is typical, the exactitude of your thoughts is only relevant to you in processing them. Keep in mind, this can be a very uncomfortable process, just try to keep a practical approach and avoid the pitfalls of self judgement, because the key to acceptance is ultimately understanding what truly matters, and some things 'just are', and need no validation or scorn.

There are better 'academics' here than me to point you to appropriate Law of One passages (and other sources) which are indeed helpful to ones perspective, but I will offer you what was elemental in my healing, which is not entirely different from your case. The link below is a post I made for my shadow exercises, and the thread itself is useful in this respect as well.

https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...#pid286784

Thank You, Sir.
Could You share what was healed on Your part?

I think I should start with the fear of death. The root of all.

[zedro]

Thank You, Sir.
Could You share what was healed on Your part?

I think I should start with the fear of death. The root of all.

Hooboy, not even sure how to answer that, because the essentials are basically that rudimentary list (fear, shame, guilt.....), the specifics involve a lifetime of experiences, but what you have offered yourself is not much different, although the issues evolved over time as they get buried with personality traits. The excercise is a form of ego dissolution, at least the toxic side which does not serve us or others.

Start with what feels obvious, and keep asking why? and all the other W's. Don't dismiss anything, just keep expanding until there's nothing left to talk to yourself about. Good luck, it was a long journey for me, and the process never truly stops, although it does get more superficial as you start to remove the majority of the bull s***.

[Indiken]

Hooboy, not even sure how to answer that, because the essentials are basically that rudimentary list (fear, shame, guilt.....), the specifics involve a lifetime of experiences, but what you have offered yourself is not much different, although the issues evolved over time as they get buried with personality traits. The excercise is a form of ego dissolution, at least the toxic side which does not serve us or others.

Start with what feels obvious, and keep asking why? and all the other W's. Don't dismiss anything, just keep expanding until there's nothing left to talk to yourself about. Good luck, it was a long journey for me, and the process never truly stops, although it does get more superficial as you start to remove the majority of the bull s***.

Thank You, Sir.

I feel that You are evasive. Am Ok with that.

The exercise you gave is good. I felt a relief instantly.

When I questioned myself and came to a point where I write:

"Do I want to die? I do."
"Why? I do not like my life."

It was a relief. The moment I thought I do not want to die, a discomfort arise.

Now I know what acceptance is.

I thought I was doing this type of exercise since I was teen. You gave a hint to look to the root.

Yes, red ray is in the tailbone. I clearly feel it now.

You know, I am listening to music now, when I started the exercise, the music was coincidently about death. And now it is soft and relaxing. And now it is playing "it's my life". What a coincidence.
I like to dig deep.

[zedro]

I feel that You are evasive. Am Ok with that.

While there is a component that is part deeply personal and convoluted to explain, the main reality is once you have gone thru the process it becomes difficult to reconnect to those old feelings as they become distant memories, almost like trying to communicate a bad dream years later. If I say there were issues with self worth/esteem, confidence, interpersonal relationships, family/childhood baggage, issues with sexuality, addictions (substance and behavioral), etc etc, how useful is it, and how deep into detail around the circumstances would I need to get to be satisfactory? I could write a book on myself, and it would only be of value in a voyeristic sense, because while our problems are not unique, our experiences are. This is why I don't put much weight on the specifics, because at the end of the road, you understand them in a meta-sense, and you forget all the rocks and eddies, and just see the river as a whole. So is it just to satisfy your curiosity, or to have validation, or are you looking for a blueprint to follow? Because none of those things are all that useful for what you are trying to accomplish.

[Indiken]

I feel that You are evasive. Am Ok with that.

While there is a component that is part deeply personal and convoluted to explain, the main reality is once you have gone thru the process it becomes difficult to reconnect to those old feelings as they become distant memories, almost like trying to communicate a bad dream years later. If I say there were issues with self worth/esteem, confidence, interpersonal relationships, family/childhood baggage, issues with sexuality, addictions (substance and behavioral), etc etc, how useful is it, and how deep into detail around the circumstances would I need to get to be satisfactory? I could write a book on myself, and it would only be of value in a voyeristic sense, because while our problems are not unique, our experiences are. This is why I don't put much weight on the specifics, because at the end of the road, you understand them in a meta-sense, and you forget all the rocks and eddies, and just see the river as a whole. So is it just to satisfy your curiosity, or to have validation, or are you looking for a blueprint to follow? Because none of those things are all that useful for what you are trying to accomplish.

I want to help You.