05-04-2020, 08:48 AM
In the Ra material to the point I have read so far, the act of loving is described as an easy thing to do, something you can accomplish on a whim with but minimal efforts. Send love vibrations to the chalice, to the instrument, and so on.
I find myself loving the creation/creator often, but often also not and in these instances, it's not always an easy thing to love, especially uninterruptedly and for a great length of time. In other words, I fluctuate very greatly.
To give you a more accurate idea, yesterday I cried about three times. First, was when I was having lunch with my family. Everyone was so beautiful and happy. Then, second a few hours later when I saw my uncle snacking.
While he ate I saw much beauty too. Lastly, it was when I was about to sleep. My body and mind are... well, in a disarray of sorts right now, and to get better sleep I decided to listen to a little song and imagine something.
What I imagined was me and my family running towards the sun as that is one of my favorite thoughts. I cried there again. The most important thing to me though is that I felt a very intense burst of love, but it was only a burst.
Every time, passing just some seconds or minutes, the love is gone. I'm not necessarily sad after, but that freedom, peace, and sense of infinite wellness just vanishes and what I have left are only remnants.
That is, until the next burst comes, as it did briefly while I wrote this. I know I'm the sole creator of the state and that nothing can create it for me, but I was wondering if there were something to help solidify, make it easier to mantain.
I find myself loving the creation/creator often, but often also not and in these instances, it's not always an easy thing to love, especially uninterruptedly and for a great length of time. In other words, I fluctuate very greatly.
To give you a more accurate idea, yesterday I cried about three times. First, was when I was having lunch with my family. Everyone was so beautiful and happy. Then, second a few hours later when I saw my uncle snacking.
While he ate I saw much beauty too. Lastly, it was when I was about to sleep. My body and mind are... well, in a disarray of sorts right now, and to get better sleep I decided to listen to a little song and imagine something.
What I imagined was me and my family running towards the sun as that is one of my favorite thoughts. I cried there again. The most important thing to me though is that I felt a very intense burst of love, but it was only a burst.
Every time, passing just some seconds or minutes, the love is gone. I'm not necessarily sad after, but that freedom, peace, and sense of infinite wellness just vanishes and what I have left are only remnants.
That is, until the next burst comes, as it did briefly while I wrote this. I know I'm the sole creator of the state and that nothing can create it for me, but I was wondering if there were something to help solidify, make it easier to mantain.