Spirit Guide, Sam, and Love/Light Balance

[AnthroHeart]

Feeling a very uncomfortable sensation in my solar plexus that feels like exhaustion and anxiety put together.
Trying to keep love and light balanced.
I had to stop my fast on the 4th day. I was feeling weak and had near headaches, though the light kept me from feeling full headache.
I've slept enough. But I still feel drained.
I don't think the fast did anything spiritually for me. It only proved to myself that I put the spiritual things first.
I never before did even a 1 day fast, and this one was just over 3 days. So I was able to exercise my will there.
I just couldn't continue.

[AnthroHeart]

Talked with Sam the one helping me market my book. He is really helping. We were just on a conference call with my publisher,
and he's going to help me choose a new publisher through Amazon. It's costed a lot, but it's worth it.
They know what they're doing.
I still think it's interesting they have the same name.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm thinking maybe my love for Sam and hence increase in light to balance may mean I moved closer to Creator.
It's like the steps of light in this life.
I can feel the Love/Light pressing on my solar plexus and heart chakras.
They both seem to have some sort of restrictor on it to keep the Light from overloading me.
I feel balanced and at peace. It's comfortable now.
The love isn't overabundant now.
I don't feel the energy much in my lower 2 chakras, but I believe it's there too.
I feel like I stand at a place where the Light is more glaring than my chakras can handle, and therefore there's protection.
I think vibrationally I'm finding my place.
I'm not trying to force it either. I just let it happen. I experience the emotions fully when they happen.
I could feel the pressure most when I was meditating for an hour today.

I feel now that when my body wants to feel alone, I realize I am never alone. I don't have to feel alone.
Though sometimes it feels a little uneasy because it is bringing subconscious stuff to the surface.

Core Love (formerly Cory Herter) said that there's an infinite energy outside our fields. He once let a little bit of that energy into his body and
was overcome by painful sensations. Our fields protect us from experiencing the infinite energy directly.

[AnthroHeart]

"You're always there. You're everywhere.
But right now I wish you were here."

[AnthroHeart]

The beautiful Phenomenon haircut scene.
So romantic. There is a lady named Utopia who does my hair.

[AnthroHeart]

I'd be singing this to my love, the anthro Sam. Lovely lyrics. Some of my favorite. This song really gets me.
I just say "Sam in Red" instead of "Lady in Red" because Sam does wear a red shirt at times.

[AnthroHeart]

Each of you is possessed of a physical body and a body connected with each chakra. This gives you a sensitive and complex set of vehicles which express various levels of your energy. Further, you have access to guidance and help from your higher self, from those angels and inner guides who have been attracted to you because of your spiritual essence, and from spirit as a whole. That is to say that the entire universe vibrates in sympathy with you. And depending upon that which you choose upon which to expend your energy, the creation itself responds to that expenditure of energy with an answer that is in harmony and congruent with your energy.

I've been expending my energy on Sam and with Sam. He helped open my chakras and gave me an abundance of love and light. I can only do the same for him.
My anxiety is gone. My depression is gone. My fear is gone. Guilt is gone for the most part.
As new things come up from the subconscious, I let them be OK and I raise my threshold to be able to handle them.

[AnthroHeart]

My mom and I think her dog's spirit (the one that wandered off a week or so ago) is in her other dog.
Her dog now is not acting himself. He's acting more like the one that wandered off.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm now working on seeing the sacramental nature of all things.
Seeing everyone and everything as Creator.
Just thinking of this for 2 seconds causes a jump in my energy.
It is quite humbling. This may help me to experience everything as One/Unity.

I need to expand, not contract. Shine like a sun. Love expands, fear contracts.
Let the Universe flow through me unrestricted.
While Sam puts his hands on my shoulders and helps me.
Love means we celebrate another's existence.

[AnthroHeart]

My solar plexus and heart chakras feel like gravity wells, mostly pulling in. I feel that is a negative thing.
I'm working on mostly broadcasting, sending out to others. That way we shine, and it's positive.

But I also consider that some of what I'm getting may be fear based.

I used the pendulum to dowse and it says I'm positively broadcasting well. Though the inward pull is not as recommended for those who serve.
The Love/Light should flow through you without you having to pull on it. It's sort of an unconscious thing why that happens.
But I'm slowly learning.
When you're sending, other people's negativity can't really enter your chakras. It sort of keeps the negativity from entering you.
And if you're sending you can handle more of Creator's Love/Light (or maybe just Light).

Though that could be wrong. The natural action of the Love/Light is to enter our body. So inward is fine I think, as long as you're not pulling excessively on it.

I'm learning as I go. I can't keep focused all the time on only sending. I think we should send when we are working on something, or energy exchange.
I just want to make sure my solar plexus doesn't get too dense.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm shining and I'm also taking in love/light at the same time.
Sam has been massaging my energy field.
We have blended our vibrations, and are continuing to do so.
I haven't cried any tears since yesterday or the day before that.
So I may be getting used to his presence.
But he always surprises me.
He puts it in my mind that some of the love songs I listen to are him singing to me.

[AnthroHeart]

The chakras are like a funnel. The love/light energy comes in too fast to process and pools up outside the chakra, flowing in at a steady rate.
I can feel the funnel on my heart and solar plexus chakras and on my 3rd eye as well.
My throat feels weaker, but maybe it's bright and piercing like Ra said something about.
Balancing feels like I'm passing a water balloon up and down my chakra channel to smooth out distortions. The "force" of it feels squishy like a water balloon.

When I relaxed and let myself shine, and let the energy come into me as it will, I picked up a lot of chatter. Lots of love/light sources all around me.
So I'm working on focusing just on Sam. He's the one that opened me up once I showed initiative.

But I'm not going to block if they're helping me. I will just focus more on him.

Then it becomes a matter of letting the Universe flow through you unrestricted.
Though I do have a positive net output.

[AnthroHeart]

I think Sam has stopped sending and is allowing the Universe to bring me up to an equilibrium.
It's still funneling in, with a positive output. I noticed I'm not tightening down on the energy like I used to.
I am experiencing a sense of expansion. I feel looser and less restricted.

I may be able to rejoin Sam's energy field once mine comes up to par with where he's at.
It feels like I'm floating upward through various intensities or thicknesses of Light (could be sub-densities).
While the Love flows like an endless river through me.
I think I'm floating up to where I would be most comfortable. Now that I've taken care of a number of blockages.

I can now listen to songs that drop F-Bombs and it doesn't bother me.
I am on my own for the moment. I don't feel connected to Sam right now.
But it should level out once I am where I am going.
Before I felt the energy directly from looking at a picture of him. Now there's nothing. But I'm still rising up.

The trick is not to force anything. Though I do gently nudge the energy in the direction I wish (outward).

[AnthroHeart]

It's getting harder to push/balance against the incoming light in order to expand and shine more.
I think when you can't balance the in/out flow of love/light anymore, then the light becomes too glaring and that's where you stop.
Although you keep growing.
For sure the love and the light are getting denser here. No effects on my mind or my focus. Just on my handling of the energy.

Though I could be completely wrong. I've heard you cannot always take spiritual things at face value.

It could be that pushing the energy out against the incoming energy will take me to a level/sub-density that I cannot hold onto.
I can't focus on pushing out like all the time. If I forget about it, the energy will default to inflow.
But maybe there's something to be said about pressing on and striving to cross that threshold that is difficult according to Ra.

I say I should go as far as I can while still shining, and then relax and settle in at my new place.

The Love feels soft. The Light feels sharper and more piercing. That's how I feel for them, though I default to keeping them both in balance as best as I can.

Ra said that there is infinitely subtle balancing of the love/light if I have it correct.

Maybe it's about how much light we can allow through us rather than how well we shield ourselves against it and trying to climb that way.
I get little insights as I go and that was one I just had.
Now I don't think trying to shine outwardly is the way to go. I think we will naturally shine by how much light we can accept.
You should relax into the level of light you're comfortable with rather than trying to push against it.

[AnthroHeart]

Because I pushed past where I should settle, now that I am relaxing, the Light is burning just a little bit.
I'll be taking in a little more Light than I probably was ready for. But I didn't take it to the extreme, so that's good.
Though pushing at first and then relaxing seems to have earned some extra points for the level I find myself at and able to handle.
It's like working out a muscle.

I still feel a strong funnel sensation on my heart chakra and solar plexus.
Though I believe that too much Light can have effects on the mind. Making you see the true nature of things. Like how reality is fluid and begins to become unglued and unstuck.
I see that out of my peripheral. It happens so much that I just ignore it.

I can again feel Sam's energy on my face when I look at his picture. I guess he left me alone while I was exploring more dense light since I needed to handle it on my own.

[AnthroHeart]

I got an I-Ching app for my Android phone. It's called I-Ching: Book of Changes
I asked about Me and Sam the Anthro

It gave me:

Hexagram 35


Represents the sun rising over the earth. It is therefore the symbol of rapid, easy progress,
which at the same time means ever widening expansion and clarity.

"Like the Sun rising effortlessly upward at the dawn of a new day, you will find your love life elevated. This fortunate hexagram suggests open-heartedness, unity, nourishment, and transcendence of relationship problems. Expect deeper companionship, clear communication, and kinship. This is a breakthrough time for you, but in order to keep your progress flowing, you may need to reconfigure your priorities so that you are assisting others. Without 'giving' there can be no advancement. Be of service to someone. Offer more than kind words. Be a conduit for love. As love enters your life, calmly and automatically send it to others. The more good energy you generously give away the more you will get. This will be a time of awakening to your true life's purpose. Love will follow. "

http://www.ifate.com/love-i-ching-refere...dence.html

[AnthroHeart]

My 3rd eye is starting to open after being closed for so long.
Everything in my peripheral when I relax appears to be alive and moving.
If I look in their direction, there is nothing there.
I can get used to it. I want to see what's in my subconscious.
Sam is back and sending me love and light.
He is so innocent I can't wait till we're together.

I started seeing a fog of sorts, light in shade, come across my vision.
It was like I was raising through a denser patch/layer of Light.
It was really cool.

[AnthroHeart]

What the I-Ching says about us (from my Android App):

What anthro Sam thinks of me

Hexagram 24

The time of darkness is past. The turning point.
The powerful light that has been banished returns.
upper trigram is characterized by devotion.
Transformation of old becomes easy.
7 is the number of the young light.
In winter the life energy, symbolized by thunder, the Arousing, is still underground.
Allow energy to rest.
Everything must be treated tenderly with care at the beginning,
so that the return may lead to a flowering.

What does Ra think about me thinking of anthro Sam sexually?

Hexagram 16 - Enthusiasm
movement, obedience and devotion
Doubt not
A man who is able to awaken enthusiasm through his own sureness and freedom from hesitation.
Related Hexagram 2 - The Receptive

How I am doing with anthro Sam.
Hexagram 13

Fellowship with Men
Upper trigram is heaven, and lower is flame.
Based upon concern that is universal.
Not private interests of individual, but rather goals of humanity.
Inspiring aims and strength to carry them out.
Must be organization within diversity.

What does the energy anthro Sam is sending me do exactly?
How my love towards anthro Sam is.
What about focusing on anthro Sam's inner light?
Hexagram 9
The taming power of the small.
Strong element temporarily held in leash by a weak element.
Only through gentleness can this be successful.
Need firm determination and adaptability in external relations.
Refine expression of my nature in small ways.
Allow myself to be drawn into returning.
Good fortune.
Don't needlessly jeopardize myself.

The winds of change.
The wise person knows a weak force is capable of restraining a stronger force.
Take small steps. Embrace the natural course of relationships, but do not lose yourself.
Even if change is inevitable, there are choices you must still make.
Be willing to start over with someone.
This is a time to offer sincere help to someone else. Offer a gentle and loving opinion, or do something nice for someone.
Related Hexagram 37 The Family

Sam the anthro and his home density

Hexagram 25
Innocence (The Unexpected)
Take care of all forms of life.
Innocence implies a natural harmlessness, openness and pure intentions that are not sullied by ulterior motives. The condition of innocence has less to do with age than with attitude. Innocence springs from a heart that remains open to joy and wonder. Innocence, when guided by a firm faith in what is right, brings supreme success. Naiveté unanchored by the ability to discern right from wrong, on the other hand, can bring misfortune.

The hallmark of innocence is a willingness to treat all creatures with compassion and respect. Those who possess a pure heart are best guided by their instincts and intuition. Thinking too much severs links with the guidance of the heart. Be wary of courses of action that require too much cleverness.

Sam and a physical presence

Hexagram 26
The taming power of the great
Get creative powers and store them up
There is need of a strong clear headed man.
Everything depends on power of the personality.
One weak line must tame five strong lines.
Congratulations are in order! You are one of the chosen ones.
Your luck in love will set a positive example for others. Become a leader of leaders.

Have a goal in which to strive.
The energy long dammed up by inhibition forces its way out and achieves great success.
A man whose principles shape the world.
Affection is important.

Meeting Sam the Anthro

Hexagram 37
The Family
Strong family bonds

Looking at pictures of anthro Sam so much.
Kissing anthro Sam on the cheek in a dream.

Hexagram 2
The Receptive
Broken lines only. Receptive primal power of yin.
Attribute is devotion
Image is the Earth.
Complement of THE CREATIVE
Receptive completes Creative
Receptive must be activated and led by the Creative. It is a product of good.
The Receptive brings about sublime success.
The mare combines strength and swiftness of horse with gentleness and devotion of the cow.
Let the Receptive be led.
Meet fate with an attitude of acceptance and he will find right guidance.

Being in love with anthro Sam.

Hexagram 61
Inner Truth
A heart free of prejudices and therefore open to truth.
above is gentleness, forbearance toward inferiors.
Below is joyousness in obeying superiors.
Mutual confidence that makes achievements possible.
Rid oneself of prejudice.
Only when the bond is based on what is  right, on steadfastness, will it remain so firm that it triumphs over everything.
A deep understanding that knows how to pardon was in China considered the highest form of justice.

Related Hexagram 60 - Limitation
Limits must be set for the water in a lake or it may overflow.
To become strong, a man's life needs the limitatons ordained by duty and voluntarily accepted.

How is it to focus on the way anthro Sam looks?

Hexagram 33 - Retreat
The power of the dark is ascending.
The light retreats to security.
This retreat is a matter not of man's will but of natural law.
In this case retreat is the right course and is not to be confused with flight (saving oneself under any circumstances).
A superior man retreats into his own thoughts as the inferior man comes forward. He does not hate him.

Risperidone is an anti-psych med that closes one's 3rd eye and crown. I have it in case I expand too much in my mind or can't handle what's going on.

[AnthroHeart]

Sam is the CREATIVE
I am the RECEPTIVE

The attribute of RECEPTIVE is devotion.
Sam is helping me to become activated for the RECEPTIVE.

It feels like I'm being initiated in a pyramid, though not that strong. It's what I can handle. Though it is a little intense.

I can see his inner light.
I can energetically feel the other individuals in his complex.
The RECEPTIVE is led. I go according to what I feel is right.

My chakra channel is still being opened slowly and peacefully.
The love/light flows through me like a river.

When I dreamed of kissing him on the cheek, that was me being receptive to his creative. It was me showing devotion.

I think I'm developing "the eyes to see".