Spiritual Depression

[blackwanderer]

So I was on YouTube a few days ago and I found this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBKm3SYJUI8

It's about what happens when you go through a spiritual awakening, and a process called the Dark Night of the Soul (at the 10:10 mark *synchronicityyyyyy*) and about how when one becomes "awakened", they go through a period of existential crisis, confusion, identity lost, etc...

Does anyone have more information? Or maybe you have gone through something like this? I'd like to learn more because I feel like I'm starting to go through my own dark night >_>. I was excited for college, first semester was easy peasy, now a month and a half into second semester things are going awry and I don't know why. It's left me mentally drained and confused, I don't know what I want or where I want to go or who I want to be. I want to just get lost somewhere and be free...

And this is all so sudden, I mean I was feeling it a little bit before but now it's like I've been punched in the face. Things in this world don't seem the way they use to, in a way I cannot describe with words. As shitty as this feels, deep down there's this innate feeling of peace... it's odd.


Edit: Went away for a snack, came back to finish this post and it's 11:44

[Foha]

I can't watch the video tonight, but I wanted to give my support relating to the dark night you are experiencing.

I worked retail for 8 years after dropping out of college the first time.

I remember feeling extremely alone when I experienced what I refer to as my Awakening, and it was tough
Like a cold,I didn't really notice when the uncomfortable feeling went away. I just eventually realized at one point i remembered feeling that way and I no longer do.

I hope you find your way through your night.

[1109]

I know exactly what you’re talking about. Things of the world simply don’t interest me anymore. I’ve suffered from actual depression when younger but this is different. I just don’t see the deeper meaning of things like career, travels, dates, and so on. I feel like I’m faking being human and failing miserably. The only time I’m really happy is when I’m able to focus on spiritual matters wholeheartedly, which unfortunately is very seldom these days.

[Sacred Fool]

Here's a thought.  This might be the beginning of polarization, of the process of determining--for your "self"--what you really care about and would dedicate yourself to.  Another way of saying it: this is the place of choice.  To answer honestly, one needs to go through a process of deep inquiry.  Likely, there are many impulses within which are unaligned with each other or with anything else.  These energies need to be gathered, organized and aligned.

Ha ha.  I'm NOT trying to make this sound easy!  I'm just trying to sum it up.  The process is quite clumsy and painful for many of us, indeed, but the payoff is some degree of mastery of your own "instrument."  And that's worth more than riches, some would aver.

 

[Nía]

Hi blackwanderer,

Q'uo have said quite a bit about the Black Night of the Soul, too much actually to paste it in here, but if you search for "q'uo" "dark night of the soul" (just click on the link) you get a number of results, and another thread here in the forum comes up as well on the first page.

It is to the person who is able to gaze upon the Dark Night of the Soul, which this instrument spoke of, with an indifferent eye but a full and willing heart, that this process may begin to come easier. By releasing and yielding to your suffering, by welcoming that which must be suffered as a brother and as a sister, by offering the hospitality of your life, your body, your mind, your strength, and your will to this process, the heart is opened as if by magic, and you find that no matter how intensely you hurt, it does not kill but, rather, cleanses, empties, renews and readies that instrument to be an ever clearer, purer and brighter channel for the light that must come through into the world or the love that must come through into the world, not from you but through you.

As you embrace this process those emotions of release and humility, humbleness and nothingness, become an offering to be lifted up unto the Creator as “all that I have.” “This is all that I have and this I give to you. Do with me what you will. I am a boat. Life is the ocean. Toss me somewhere. I shall attempt to sail.” This kind of abandon, this action of the Fool is powerful. And as you become ridiculous, as you embrace this darkness, you embrace also the light that follows. For truly in the Dark Night of the Soul there is a moon setting and a sun rising. And that sun is a glory beyond all space and time signifying a Love that created all that there is. We would encourage that moment of abandon within each of you where you not only say but feel, “Not my will, but Thine.” For, you see, there is a cyclic nature to manifestation of any kind. As the Creator’s heart beats, creations are born and die. The one thing that remains, whether it is perceived or not, is that intelligent infinity that we can only call Love in your language, this vibration which is the one great original Thought or Logos is what you are, with no past or future but simply a moment of being that is infinite.

Move back into this awareness when you have done your work with the mind, with the emotions, always you are the branches reaching down to the roots of the vine, for your roots are those of perfect Love. And as you spiral ever upward, you shall be light and dark and light again and again and again. And that which has become a burden will be sloughed off again and again and again, for you shall mature, not by adding things unto your self, but by allowing them to fall away from the self. In fear, you see, you collect and armor and harden. As love is able to touch those difficulties that have crystallized within, they are subtracted from the already whole, already perfect being that is your reality.

We realize that what we have offered may be slim comfort to those to whom this present moment is a vale of tears, and we would remind each of you that the Creator’s love can only be expressed, that support can only be given, by the hands that are of flesh. You are the Creator to those about you. Your support is the only way the Creator can support within the incarnation, within the illusion. Your hands. Your voice. Your smile. Your eyes. These things are your gifts to your brothers and sisters. Sorrow is essential to this experience that you call third-density life. But your attitude towards this sorrowing, grieving and changing process can create for you a peace that surpasses all understanding. We encourage each of you to see that heaven, even if it is from afar, to know that the angels and ministers that have always loved you, love you now and are here to help you, though unseen they hover, waiting to comfort, looking for ways to confirm any glimmer of hope within. You are never alone in this process. This is a guarded and protected process, and the haven does abide. May each of you help each other to find your way home.

-`ღ´-

[blackwanderer]

I can't watch the video tonight, but I wanted to give my support relating to the dark night you are experiencing.

I worked retail for 8 years after dropping out of college the first time.

I remember feeling extremely alone when I experienced what I refer to as my Awakening, and it was tough
Like a cold,I didn't really notice when the uncomfortable feeling went away. I just eventually realized at one point i remembered feeling that way and I no longer do.

I hope you find your way through your night.

Thank you, my night was fine haha.

If you don't mind me asking, what have you been doing more recently after working retail? Has life gotten better for you?

[Foha]

Thank you, my night was fine haha.

If you don't mind me asking, what have you been doing more recently after working retail? Has life gotten better for you?

It has!

I went back to college about 4 years ago and I'm graduating soon.

I am happy and have a plan with what to do in the near future.

Thanks for asking

[Nía]

This was just re-posted on another website from which I got an alert - I haven't read it, but due to the synchronicity I thought there might be something in it that is relevant for you.

7 Omens That Herald The Dark Night Of The Soul

[Diana]

Being asleep is cozy, but limited. Being awake to the bigger picture, where all is possibilities and not certainties, is not cozy, but unlimited. (The Tool song, Sober, is about wanting to stay asleep.) It also parallels the wave/particle duality, where, in the wave function all outcomes are possible, and in the particle function possibilities have collapsed to one.

A dark night of the soul, in my experience and observation, is not a one-time happening. The best way I have found to mitigate the despair/uneasiness/hopelessness/etc. is to stay open to possibilities in every sense. To not have "beliefs." And when I do spiral down, the way I crawl back up is to imagine and open back up to possibilities, in my "mundane" life, my worldview, and my cosmological and spiritual perspectives. 

[GentleReckoning]

So I was on YouTube a few days ago and I found this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBKm3SYJUI8

It's about what happens when you go through a spiritual awakening, and a process called the Dark Night of the Soul (at the 10:10 mark *synchronicityyyyyy*) and about how when one becomes "awakened", they go through a period of existential crisis, confusion, identity lost, etc...

Does anyone have more information? Or maybe you have gone through something like this? I'd like to learn more because I feel like I'm starting to go through my own dark night >_>. I was excited for college, first semester was easy peasy, now a month and a half into second semester things are going awry and I don't know why. It's left me mentally drained and confused, I don't know what I want or where I want to go or who I want to be. I want to just get lost somewhere and be free...

And this is all so sudden, I mean I was feeling it a little bit before but now it's like I've been punched in the face. Things in this world don't seem the way they use to, in a way I cannot describe with words. As shitty as this feels, deep down there's this innate feeling of peace... it's odd.


Edit: Went away for a snack, came back to finish this post and it's 11:44

As your vibration rises, you begin manifesting your negative distortions to be cleared. For a lot of people from families where the baby is idolized and entertained 24/7, the first distortion manifested is laziness and the desire to be entertained and validated by others. Especially in college as it's happening on a group level as individuals leave their parents for the first time.

[blackwanderer]

As your vibration rises, you begin manifesting your negative distortions to be cleared. For a lot of people from families where the baby is idolized and entertained 24/7, the first distortion manifested is laziness and the desire to be entertained and validated by others. Especially in college as it's happening on a group level as individuals leave their parents for the first time.

Also, I'm actually still living with my mother. I go to a community college.

What do you mean by "manifesting your negative distortions to be cleared"?

[GentleReckoning]

As you raise your abundance, you create your abundance blocks. I don't really know how else to explain it. Confusions of the deep mind that manifest as suffering. Negative distortions.

[jacrob]

Deleted - too much information.