Accepting the shadow self

[Aleksi]

How does one do the process of accepting and integrating the shadow self? Mine seems hugely powerful and terrifying and I feel lost and anxious and I'm concerned it might not even be me but a negative entity feeding off my fear. It even sloppily tried masquerading as Ra. It speaks to me as a voice in my head and seems to be activated especially when I have a hangover. Is this schizophrenia?

[MangusKhan]

How does one do the process of accepting and integrating the shadow self? Mine seems hugely powerful and terrifying and I feel lost and anxious and I'm concerned it might not even be me but a negative entity feeding off my fear. It even sloppily tried masquerading as Ra. It speaks to me as a voice in my head and seems to be activated especially when I have a hangover. Is this schizophrenia?

A fractured mind serves as a poor vessel in which to hold the spirit, luckily there is a certain golden, incorruptible substance ever on hand with which the pieces can be put back together, even more beautiful than before.



Certain practitioners of the medical institution might conclude you to be defective or insane, but that is only because the most effective solution is too simple for them to grasp.

This video might help you understand what I mean.


Remember that it is called the "Shadow Self" for a reason.

[Aleksi]

I had a conversation with a voice and it tried to lie to me all kinds of bullshit, I asked it to leave and then tried commanding it and either it didn't work or as I suspect there were many entities attached to me. I prayed angels to make them leave and help me protect myself. Now the shadow is still here but I feel love instead of fear.

[rva_jeremy]

Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle.

The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said, "Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission."

Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied, "My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power." In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.

[Aleksi]

Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle.

The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said, "Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission."

Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied, "My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power." In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.

Thank you! This is exactly what I was looking for.

[GentleWanderer]

How does one do the process of accepting and integrating the shadow self? Mine seems hugely powerful and terrifying and I feel lost and anxious and I'm concerned it might not even be me but a negative entity feeding off my fear. It even sloppily tried masquerading as Ra. It speaks to me as a voice in my head and seems to be activated especially when I have a hangover. Is this schizophrenia?

A excellent post, about what's called "the core injured self". Not sure if it's the same as the shadow self, should be helpful though.

https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=13610

[Aleksi]

Thanks also to both of you, MangusKhan and GentleWanderer. I usually try to figure everything out without asking for help but I'm starting to learn that it's an unneccessarily difficult approach to life. I'm trying to send love to everybody on this forum but am not certain it is working.

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

I'd recommend not letting your inner voices trick you too much.  Just listen to them, but without reaction to their words.  

You might find that the shadow self is a copy of you, but just inside of your head and heart, it is the crimped and censored self, the part of you rejected by you.

You may find parts of yourself here that are in no way who you feel yourself to be, yet they are there, like the tumors of darkness effecting your health.

You might find you enjoy things like murder, domination, winning, sexual fetishes, being selfish, or even lying.

Whatever parts of yourself you find, it is utmost integrally important that you do not judge them, that you hold an open mind and detach judgment, and instead find the compassion for these parts of yourself, their reason for being.

For instance, I am a very dark person myself, I have a great desire to be brutal and overpowering, this stems from a long period of feeling helplessness.  It drives my anger and the sharpness of my analyzing mind.

Yet being brutal is not what I want.  I don't want to overpower anyone.

These aspects of my darkness are survival traits of my humanity, they are not there for me to judge myself through, or to be judged individually, they are tools to help me in life, just like a saw blade, it can be used to trim a bush, or cut a person.  Go trim a bush, save cutting a person for if someone is trying to hurt you.

Often times I find the fuel of my darkness is fear and paranoia.  My inner voices speculate greatly on the intents of others.  I often think people just want to hurt me because of it.

I must remind myself they are as me, as is their darkness as mine.

If I can come to terms with this, find forgiveness for these things, and then further let go of any expectations of any kind of outcome of these aspects of the self, I can give them the space they need to be accepted back, to be welcomed to reintegrate, to unify back.

Each voice in your head is a small part of you, they can fight each other, argue, even confusingly become delusional, the point is to direct these voices like a compass needle all to the same direction.

That direction is unconditional love for your self, and through that, of your other-selves, and yet this does not mean indulge the murderous desire, it means to let it voice itself internally, but to not react to it, so that it may be, and so may you be as you wish to be.

The darkness is really light.  Please don't be afraid to let your shadow self vent at you, scream, lie, attack you.  You have after all left it chained up in darkness for so long.

[Aleksi]

I'd recommend not letting your inner voices trick you too much.  Just listen to them, but without reaction to their words.  

You might find that the shadow self is a copy of you, but just inside of your head and heart, it is the crimped and censored self, the part of you rejected by you.

You may find parts of yourself here that are in no way who you feel yourself to be, yet they are there, like the tumors of darkness effecting your health.

You might find you enjoy things like murder, domination, winning, sexual fetishes, being selfish, or even lying.

Whatever parts of yourself you find, it is utmost integrally important that you do not judge them, that you hold an open mind and detach judgment, and instead find the compassion for these parts of yourself, their reason for being.

For instance, I am a very dark person myself, I have a great desire to be brutal and overpowering, this stems from a long period of feeling helplessness.  It drives my anger and the sharpness of my analyzing mind.

Yet being brutal is not what I want.  I don't want to overpower anyone.

These aspects of my darkness are survival traits of my humanity, they are not there for me to judge myself through, or to be judged individually, they are tools to help me in life, just like a saw blade, it can be used to trim a bush, or cut a person.  Go trim a bush, save cutting a person for if someone is trying to hurt you.

Often times I find the fuel of my darkness is fear and paranoia.  My inner voices speculate greatly on the intents of others.  I often think people just want to hurt me because of it.

I must remind myself they are as me, as is their darkness as mine.

If I can come to terms with this, find forgiveness for these things, and then further let go of any expectations of any kind of outcome of these aspects of the self, I can give them the space they need to be accepted back, to be welcomed to reintegrate, to unify back.

Each voice in your head is a small part of you, they can fight each other, argue, even confusingly become delusional, the point is to direct these voices like a compass needle all to the same direction.

That direction is unconditional love for your self, and through that, of your other-selves, and yet this does not mean indulge the murderous desire, it means to let it voice itself internally, but to not react to it, so that it may be, and so may you be as you wish to be.

The darkness is really light.  Please don't be afraid to let your shadow self vent at you, scream, lie, attack you.  You have after all left it chained up in darkness for so long.

Thank you. I have a question I would like to ask. One of these voices seems to come from a tree next to my house. It is incredibly loving and positive. Could this also actually be a part of me that I am for some reason externalizing? Like an opposite shadow. (all is one, of course, so are we all not just parts of Us, so maybe the answer is irrelevant)

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Well, it probably would help to determine if the voice IS your own, or another seemingly so.

This discernment is mentioned, that one may note thoughts that do not appear to stem from the self.  Albeit in this instance thoughts are the voices we're discussing.

I might be getting a bit fantastical here, but I do believe in nature spirits, or basically what some might call nymphs and fairies.  I have experienced a water nymph in my own pool, fire wisps aka salamanders and sylphs when I was younger, and overall I now find some fields of grass, trees, and areas of trees have these types of entities associated sometimes.  Even cacti and bushes or beds of flowers.

Nature is very alive, I think if the thoughts sit well with you and provide you happiness or peace, then you can react to them without worry.  Its when things get dark and 'heavy' that you should just sit with it rather than react so as not to give in or deny it, to listen and know without doing, to be a rock and not to roll, to let yourself be transparent and let the waves of heaviness pass right through you unmoving you.

So, it may be an external voice of a spirit guide, or of a resident loving nature spirit.

It could also just be your own voice masking itself, as they do so well.  My voices mask themselves with many identities.  The victim, the offended, the oppressed, the disgusted, but also in many good ways as if to be silly and playful, the lover, the admirer, the awed, the starry eyed wondrous one, the contentful, the optimistic, the cheery, the cutesy, the happy laugher, the joker, the teaser.

So, its up to you to discover if the voice is you or not, but if you want my advice on a sort of shortcut through confusion...

All the voices are you in another style of uniqueness and various distortions and circumstances.  You should treat them how you'd want to be treated.  If you're upset and all down, try to cheer yourself up.  If you're happy and loving, bask in that joy.  If you're losing it (like I occasionally do), then sit with it until you've calmed down, try not to react, its okay if you do, but its much easier on your nervous system if you respond with stillness.  Its much easier on your mind, body, emotions.

Especially if you have despairing thoughts and such.  Don't give up, there's a way through, enjoy the good, help the down, sit with the mad, praise the fearful.

We've all got those voices inside of us, they've all got those things they think and feel, and you are made up of all of that.  You are them, they are you, work with them and they'll work with you.

Cheer up your sad voice, or offer it comfort.
Thank your happy voice.
Guide your scared voice.
Encourage your uncertain voice towards certainty.
Remind your doubt of your intended outcome.
Let your sadness flow but don't get swept away by it for too long.

Life is an amalgam of consciousness.  We're so much more than just one, we're also many.  Sometimes there's confusion with that.

I think irrelevancy can deny circumstantially relevant associations, so don't worry too much.  Just try to be the best you that you want to be, and realize there's no failure in not being able to do that, since you always get another chance.  In some new way in a different time, but it will come around.

So, I don't know lol, I just want you to not be scared.  You have your own self power, you can choose to do good and not do bad, regardless of the thoughts/voices you may hear.

You can be an observor, you can be the rock that doesn't roll.  The picturesque tree in the portrait, the focus, or the background.

When it comes to matters of working with the self, it seems important to not be worried and swept away in the vast macrocosmic being of our internal microcosmic selves.  Infinity has a lot going on, so its okay to take things one thing at a time. What's the rush? Lol

[Aleksi]

Well, it probably would help to determine if the voice IS your own, or another seemingly so.

This discernment is mentioned, that one may note thoughts that do not appear to stem from the self.  Albeit in this instance thoughts are the voices we're discussing.

I might be getting a bit fantastical here, but I do believe in nature spirits, or basically what some might call nymphs and fairies.  I have experienced a water nymph in my own pool, fire wisps aka salamanders and sylphs when I was younger, and overall I now find some fields of grass, trees, and areas of trees have these types of entities associated sometimes.  Even cacti and bushes or beds of flowers.

Nature is very alive, I think if the thoughts sit well with you and provide you happiness or peace, then you can react to them without worry.  Its when things get dark and 'heavy' that you should just sit with it rather than react so as not to give in or deny it, to listen and know without doing, to be a rock and not to roll, to let yourself be transparent and let the waves of heaviness pass right through you unmoving you.

So, it may be an external voice of a spirit guide, or of a resident loving nature spirit.

It could also just be your own voice masking itself, as they do so well.  My voices mask themselves with many identities.  The victim, the offended, the oppressed, the disgusted, but also in many good ways as if to be silly and playful, the lover, the admirer, the awed, the starry eyed wondrous one, the contentful, the optimistic, the cheery, the cutesy, the happy laugher, the joker, the teaser.

So, its up to you to discover if the voice is you or not, but if you want my advice on a sort of shortcut through confusion...

All the voices are you in another style of uniqueness and various distortions and circumstances.  You should treat them how you'd want to be treated.  If you're upset and all down, try to cheer yourself up.  If you're happy and loving, bask in that joy.  If you're losing it (like I occasionally do), then sit with it until you've calmed down, try not to react, its okay if you do, but its much easier on your nervous system if you respond with stillness.  Its much easier on your mind, body, emotions.

Especially if you have despairing thoughts and such.  Don't give up, there's a way through, enjoy the good, help the down, sit with the mad, praise the fearful.

We've all got those voices inside of us, they've all got those things they think and feel, and you are made up of all of that.  You are them, they are you, work with them and they'll work with you.

Cheer up your sad voice, or offer it comfort.
Thank your happy voice.
Guide your scared voice.
Encourage your uncertain voice towards certainty.
Remind your doubt of your intended outcome.
Let your sadness flow but don't get swept away by it for too long.

Life is an amalgam of consciousness.  We're so much more than just one, we're also many.  Sometimes there's confusion with that.

I think irrelevancy can deny circumstantially relevant associations, so don't worry too much.  Just try to be the best you that you want to be, and realize there's no failure in not being able to do that, since you always get another chance.  In some new way in a different time, but it will come around.

So, I don't know lol, I just want you to not be scared.  You have your own self power, you can choose to do good and not do bad, regardless of the thoughts/voices you may hear.

You can be an observor, you can be the rock that doesn't roll.  The picturesque tree in the portrait, the focus, or the background.

When it comes to matters of working with the self, it seems important to not be worried and swept away in the vast macrocosmic being of our internal microcosmic selves.  Infinity has a lot going on, so its okay to take things one thing at a time. What's the rush? Lol

Thank you very much for such a long reply. It has in many ways been a challenging day but quite soon it is time to sleep and I feel I've made much progress. I do have a tendency to try and run into the arms of the Creator because I feel very strongly even the smallest pains of existence, but I think one of today's biggest pains regarding an ex girlfriend was by proxy caused by my hurry, worry and perfectionism so the ending of your post resonates with me.

[xise]

As always, I'll talk about definitions before giving my 2 cents. I don't believe Ra uses the term shadow self so I'm going to define shadow self, as I use the term, before talking about the subject matter. I think the shadow self is different for a polarized person than for a nonpolarized person. 

I think the pre-polarized shadow self is perhaps everything the person rejects, denies, or suppresses from his conscious mind. I say perhaps because I'm not sure in the value of even defining or talking about the pre-polarized shadow self, but I think this is the definition that is commonly used by others when referring to the "shadow self", which I feel is imprecise. The type of shadow work a person can do without polarization is limited imo due to the vast amounts of distortions - some pure distortions, some STS distortions, and a few imbalanced but STO leaning distortions - that are unable to be reconciled without the compass of polarization. If you want to work with the pre-polarized shadow self, best advice is to discover your path of polarity or get a surface level quick fix by going to a nonspiritual 3d shrink.

However, once there is a choice of polarization, I think the shadow self becomes more defined. I define the post-polarization shadow self is the self of opposite polarity. It's the version of you that is STS if you are STO, or STO if you are STS. The mass of nonpolarizing unconscious distortions, which are still present, are what I call the imbalanced unconscious self. This distinction is useful, because the method of processing the imbalanced unconscious self requires balance and healing. The true opposite polarity shadow self isn't in need of healing as much as acknowledgement, acceptance, and a decision that you are firmly committed to your path while observing that the shadow version of you can give great insight into the understandings and thinking of the negative polarity. Once you cease to be bothered by the self of you that is the opposite polarity, and have truly chosen the other path of polarity, and you don't fear possession by the shadow self (fear of possession is noted by Ra as one the heart/green ray imbalances) I don't find the true shadow self doesn't come around often, and you have a much more understanding relationship with it. However, the imbalanced unconscious self is still seems to be an area of great work, primarily because of the conscious/unconscious split makes work in this area slower.

As an aside, it's not uncommon for the ego or other entites or thought-forms or even fears or strong beliefs, to manifest as a voice in your head, in my experience. So there are many different things that can speak inside our minds, and I think its not easy to necessarily figure out the source of such voices.

[Stranger]

I had a conversation with a voice and it tried to lie to me all kinds of bullshit, I asked it to leave and then tried commanding it and either it didn't work or as I suspect there were many entities attached to me. I prayed angels to make them leave and help me protect myself. Now the shadow is still here but I feel love instead of fear.

Aleksi, GentleWanderer's reference to my post is right on target.  What you're describing is a part of self - an autonomous sub-personality.  We all have them, but most of the time don't realize that our thoughts and feelings come from many different such parts - we're just aware of the thoughts and feelings.  But sometimes it becomes obvious that different parts speak to us, each in its own distinct "voice". 

Arguing with parts never ever achieves anything.  You can command the voice to "shut up", but it'll only obey for a very short while, then return.

The only way to heal a part is with love.  It may seem absurd to love a hateful voice -- but realize that it's only a part of you expressing its pain and distortion.  It's analogous to physical pain - if your head hurts, you don't begin hating your head for it; instead you look for ways to soothe and comfort it, because it's a part of you that's in pain.  The voice you're hearing is simply another part of you that's in pain, and love is the medicine it needs.

By Love I simply mean kindness, compassion, caring. Focus on that voice, don't be afraid of it - all it can do is yak at you, it truly cannot harm you in any way, whatsoever. It's all bark and no bite, like a loud but tiny little dog.

So you can focus on the voice inside you, without fear because there's nothing to be afraid of, and notice where you seem to feel it in your body.

If you notice any fear, anger or any other negative feelings toward the part, then simply ask those feelings to step back and relax - and notice how your feelings toward the part suddenly change.

Then treat that part of you like a screaming baby. Hold it, soothe it, comfort it, even if it hurls insults at you. Doesn't matter. That's what unconditional love is. And it heals ALL inner distortions, I promise. I've done this myself more times than I can count. It will take a few minutes of you just sitting there and listening to its nonsense, but you will begin to notice it relaxing and easing up, and if you continue, eventually it will disappear altogether as it heals and dissolves.

To understand more about this phenomenon, I recommend this website:
https://selfleadership.org/the-larger-self.html

It's by the founder of IFS Therapy, psychologist Richard Schwartz Ph.D.  He describes several examples of working with the parts of his clients.  Your best bet is to find an IFS therapist - there's a directory on that website.  It's the only model that understands where "voices" such as yours come from and how to treat them.

Please feel free to ask me any questions over direct message, and best of luck to you!

[Minyatur]

Arguing with parts never ever achieves anything. 

You do know s***, but I can't totally agree with this part.

There is usefulness to dismantle what's rooted as tangled in the mind complex. Sometimes arguing with convinction is the only way a part can be shaken in its belief and contemplate the dual counter-part of its thought which resolves the tension that part was stuck in.

Confusion is a big player here, so quite often there is the aspect of confused beliefs although it's just an aspect of the work to be done.

[Aion]

Lots of good thoughts in here, there are many ways to work with this experience I think. I have discovered a few basic ideas pertaining to the mind that may be useful to you.

First, only that which you WILL is YOUR SELF. This is an idea which relates to the origin of thoughts. Speak something in your mind like "This is my Voice." Then you have thus found your voice. If you will it, it is yours. I know the idea of 'everything is yourself' is a popular one but I think its more along the lines of 'you are yourself and everything is a reflection of that'. A subtle but significant difference in my mind.

Second, EVERYTHING ELSE is a CREATION. The mind creates an experience of the communications between intelligent energies. You are likely empathic and have opened up too many lines of communication which has crested many a disjointed conversation. Thus, with YOUR Voice you may adjust these channels. If you hear it without willing it, it is a communication.

There is a process I have found effective for myself. Anytime I hear a voice that is not my own willed voice I ask it - Who's voice is this? I ask it over and over to the voice while seeking to know its identity with my intention and will. Sometimes it merely vanishes and I know it was a voice all in my head. Other times I will discover or have some chain of thoughts that will connect it to some person or thing (such as the tree you mention) and then I assess what the state of the relationship is. More often than not we are plugged in to too many people that we don't need to be so you may need to go through each voice and connection and determine if they are healthy for your field. If you need to sever a thread you will visualize yourself and whatever you are connected to each as s field with a thread of light between you. You then 'slice' through the thread and allow each end to retract. You may need to do his several times or over a period to get it to stick, especially if the person is emotionally or energetically focused on you in some way.

However in cases of positive interaction such as with your tree friend you are experiencing one of the positive benefits of indigo interaction being telepathy with other fields. I would highly recommend speaking with the tree more, they are wise beings, but can also be limited and crafty so keep on your toes and don't believe everything you hear. Just as a word of general caution, not of fear.

[Stranger]

Arguing with parts never ever achieves anything. 

You do know s***, but I can't totally agree with this part.

There is usefulness to dismantle what's rooted as tangled in the mind complex. Sometimes arguing with convinction is the only way a part can be shaken in its belief and contemplate the dual counter-part of its thought which resolves the tension that part was stuck in.

Confusion is a big player here, so quite often there is the aspect of confused beliefs although it's just an aspect of the work to be done.

Elros, I agree that it's useful to dismantle the beliefs and attitudes that parts are stuck in.  I'd even say it's essential to do that, if we want to be free and truly ourselves, unencumbered by internal obstacles.  So we're on the same page with this.

The question is how to make that happen.  Richard Schwartz, when he first discovered parts, started out arguing with them and trying to convince the self-harming parts to stop making his patients harm themselves.  They'd eventually agree, but would produce even more horrific injuries afterwards, when out of the session.

My personal experience in arguing with parts is similar.  You can have an inner critic telling you that you're worthless, and you can very nicely talk to it about how that's not helpful or accurate and all the reasons why, but it'll come back and say "that's all well and good, but the fact is that you're worthless and it's my job to destroy you"  (which, of course, it can't do - parts cannot cause any harm and can only affect you if you listen to their nonsense - the Chodron quote rva_Jeremy posted is very accurate).

I've therefore come to see parts as being frozen into their particular attitudes and emotions.  They are like computer programs.  They are stuck in their configuration.  There's no amount of arguing with an ATM that will make it give you a soda - it's just not what it does, or is capable of doing.

On the other hand, loving the part invariably unfreezes it and makes it open to alternative modes of being.  Often a critical part will even express gratitude for being healed this way, saying that it hated what it was stuck doing, over and over.  Love works with critical parts, sad parts, fearful parts - basically, it harmonizes all internal disharmonies. 

[Minyatur]

Elros, I agree that it's useful to dismantle the beliefs and attitudes that parts are stuck in.  I'd even say it's essential to do that, if we want to be free and truly ourselves, unencumbered by internal obstacles.  So we're on the same page with this.

The question is how to make that happen.  Richard Schwartz, when he first discovered parts, started out arguing with them and trying to convince the self-harming parts to stop making his patients harm themselves.  They'd eventually agree, but would produce even more horrific injuries afterwards, when out of the session.

My personal experience in arguing with parts is similar.  You can have an inner critic telling you that you're worthless, and you can very nicely talk to it about how that's not helpful or accurate and all the reasons why, but it'll come back and say "that's all well and good, but the fact is that you're worthless and it's my job to destroy you"  (which, of course, it can't do - parts cannot cause any harm and can only affect you if you listen to their nonsense - the Chodron quote rva_Jeremy posted is very accurate).

I've therefore come to see parts as being frozen into their particular attitudes and emotions.  They are like computer programs.  They are stuck in their configuration.  There's no amount of arguing with an ATM that will make it give you a soda - it's just not what it does, or is capable of doing.

On the other hand, loving the part invariably unfreezes it and makes it open to alternative modes of being.  Often a critical part will even express gratitude for being healed this way, saying that it hated what it was stuck doing, over and over.  Love works with critical parts, sad parts, fearful parts - basically, it harmonizes all internal disharmonies. 

I really see it as two-way.

If you try to change the pattern without love then it won't work well as you are not pouring transformative energies within it.

If you appease the energy but don't seek to change the mental pattern, then the same charge will build up again.

The ways of learn/teaching as the Creator in realizing the Creator are quite profound and are hard to be put into words.

[Stranger]

I really see it as two-way.

If you try to change the pattern without love then it won't work well as you are not pouring transformative energies within it.

If you appease the energy but don't seek to change the mental pattern, then the same charge will build up again.

The ways of learn/teaching as the Creator in realizing the Creator are quite profound and are hard to be put into words.

Loving is not appeasing - that's the interesting thing about it. Focusing love on an inner critic/hateful part will make it scream like a vampire in the sunlight as it begins to break up and dissolve. Maybe that's why Q'uo talks about "terrible Love".

[Minyatur]

I really see it as two-way.

If you try to change the pattern without love then it won't work well as you are not pouring transformative energies within it.

If you appease the energy but don't seek to change the mental pattern, then the same charge will build up again.

The ways of learn/teaching as the Creator in realizing the Creator are quite profound and are hard to be put into words.

Loving is not appeasing - that's the interesting thing about it.  Focusing love on an inner critic/hateful part will make it scream like a vampire in the sunlight as it begins to break up and dissolve.  Maybe that's why Q'uo talks about "terrible Love".

I get what you mean but what you said in your initial post was closer to appeasing.

if your head hurts, you don't begin hating your head for it; instead you look for ways to soothe and comfort it, because it's a part of you that's in pain.  The voice you're hearing is simply another part of you that's in pain, and love is the medicine it needs.

By Love I simply mean kindness, compassion, caring.

Soothing it is an attempt to appease the energy in space/time, it helps to feel better momentarily but does not teach forgiveness in time/space either, and so further karma will be required to realize forgiveness in another nexus of a moment.

The time/space lesson is a bit more tricky to focus upon, but it is what attracts and manifests catalysts, and this does include traumas that may repeat over lifetimes and worlds. So what may seem to you like just a "silly" childhood trauma might very well be more like the XXXth time this soul pattern is repeated seeking the same realization. We really do incarnate way too many times sometimes just for a single angle within the strings of one's spirit.

Realizations need to come from within. Arguing, much like pouring love, is helpful only when it is sought. By pouring too much love into something you can literally break it down further, just like by arguing in wanting to share a truth you can create unconscious resistances within another to realize this truth. Love/wisdom, wisdom/love, love/wisdom, wisdom/love, love/wisdom, wisdom/love..... Do as you know and feel because that's your job within Unity! Do as you know and feel because that's already what you have ever been doing!

[Diana]

Change focus. 

I suggest you empower yourself. That sounds easy and I don't mean it to. Honor yourself and do what you can to make yourself independent, and living a life that excites you. This includes 3D-type pursuits. Taking care of your physical existence will strengthen your total being. It will also change the focus from being too much inside your head.

Do you exercise? Do you eat well? Do you work at a job you like? Are you content with your friends and associates? Do you "hang out" with intelligent and proactive people? Not all of this is easy or always possible, but striving to improve your life in these areas may help.