Post-Awakening Relationships

[Immortalis Vigil]

Greetings, brothers and sisters. Perhaps you can share your insights about the dynamics of a romantic relationship with someone post-awakening, when the partner remains stubbornly asleep. We were both in a rather dense place when we got together, but the process of loving her and being loved helped me to open my green ray and awaken. Since that time five years ago I have become a devoted and active seeker, and while she has made some progress she is having a hard time. The more I grow in light, the more evident her self-destructive/self-sabotaging patterns become. I still love her, but my love has taken on a much more universal quality. She seems to love me as well, but she is obviously having a difficult time coping with the changes in me. She respects them, but is at the same time frightened and not quite able to understand. We rarely share a bed anymore because she says sleeping next to me gives her weird dreams. I suspect the dreams involve unprocessed karma, which she seems to have a lot of.

I love her and enjoy her companionship, and wish to be of service to her. But I sense her pulling away, and I accept that. I cast the runes and the results affirmed much of what I knew, and warded against deeper commitment to the relationship (i.e. marriage). The runes seemed to suggest the best coarse is to simply stay the course, and let matters play out however they will. For me that means taking no proactive action to end the relationship or deepen the commitment, but to continue loving her unconditionally and seeking to be of service to her...and to honor her free will if a time comes when she wishes to leave.

I appreciate whatever thoughts and experiences you care to share.

Namaste

[Minyatur]

Don't overthink and follow your heart, wherever that leads you.

[earth_spirit]

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[Immortalis Vigil]

Frightened? Pulling away?

Interesting that sleeping next to you gives her "weird dreams", implying that sleeping apart from her partner does not.

Based on what you've written, her behavior comes off as subtly manipulative / passive aggressive.

partner remains stubbornly asleep...
...seeking to be of service to her...

To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping. Service is only possible to the extent it is requested.

That said, I am happy for you. Remain centered within yourself.

She seems to be allergic to spiritual matters. In part because she was raised a Jehovah's Witness, which was a very negative experience that created a lot of fear, resentment, and aversion to all things religious and/or spiritual. She also seems to have recurring dreams about having been abused/mistreated by Egyptian priests.

I have no doubt she is manipulating me to some extent. I know for certain she maintains several layers of ego driven illusions about her personal biography, intellect, and abilities. But overall she is a kind, tender-hearted, and thoughtful person.  Neither her little manipulations or illusions offend me. I am somewhat saddened that she feels the need to engage in such things, but I figure she will only play those games as long as she needs them.

I am happy and centered in myself. I strive to embody love that transcends condition and circumstance. I strive to remain present in the eternal now, and not engage dramas, manipulations, or other ego driven activity. Perhaps that is its own ego driven game that creates separation and detachment...

Also, I have no illusions that I can awaken her unilaterally. I hope to provide her opportunities, but I recognize I can only provide as much assistance as she is willing to accept. That being said, all beings awaken this life or the next. All beings eventually return home. I am as patient as eternity.

[Glow]

Frightened? Pulling away?

Interesting that sleeping next to you gives her "weird dreams", implying that sleeping apart from her partner does not.

Based on what you've written, her behavior comes off as subtly manipulative / passive aggressive.

partner remains stubbornly asleep...
...seeking to be of service to her...

To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping. Service is only possible to the extent it is requested.

That said, I am happy for you. Remain centered within yourself.

It's egoic to assume she is trying to manipulate.

Most people will pull away when they see a partner changing in ways they do not wish to.
As to the sleeping apart because of the weird dreams, I personally never remember my dreams when my husband sleeps beside me. So I ensure I sleep on my own some nights. There is guidance in dreams as we know and it's possible she just isn't ready to explore that spiritual side. A negative reoccurring dream might make us all look for a new sleep situation that brings relief.

[Glow]

Frightened? Pulling away?

Interesting that sleeping next to you gives her "weird dreams", implying that sleeping apart from her partner does not.

Based on what you've written, her behavior comes off as subtly manipulative / passive aggressive.

partner remains stubbornly asleep...
...seeking to be of service to her...

To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping. Service is only possible to the extent it is requested.

That said, I am happy for you. Remain centered within yourself.

She seems to be allergic to spiritual matters. In part because she was raised a Jehovah's Witness, which was a very negative experience that created a lot of fear, resentment, and aversion to all things religious and/or spiritual. She also seems to have recurring dreams about having been abused/mistreated by Egyptian priests.

I have no doubt she is manipulating me to some extent. I know for certain she maintains several layers of ego driven illusions about her personal biography, intellect, and abilities. But overall she is a kind, tender-hearted, and thoughtful person.  Neither her little manipulations or illusions offend me. I am somewhat saddened that she feels the need to engage in such things, but I figure she will only play those games as long as she needs them.

I am happy and centered in myself. I strive to embody love that transcends condition and circumstance. I strive to remain present in the eternal now, and not engage dramas, manipulations, or other ego driven activity. Perhaps that is its own ego driven game that creates separation and detachment...

Also, I have no illusions that I can awaken her unilaterally. I hope to provide her opportunities, but I recognize I can only provide as much assistance as she is willing to accept. That being said, all beings awaken this life or the next. All beings eventually return home. I am as patient as eternity.

It's interesting she had negative religious experiences in both this life and the Egyptian one. I have seen certain cycles of abuse repeated over and over. It might be quite scary for her to seek spirituality at this point. Your patience is all you can offer in this situation I think. That and possitive exposure to noncontroling version of God/creator. That may be your purpose in her life.

Sounds like the runes were leading you quite accurately.

[Diana]

Don't overthink and follow your heart, wherever that leads you.

I would like to add to Minyatur's wise statement: be willing to be hurt. Have as much courage as possible to allow the relationship to go where it will, without trying to control it.

[Immortalis Vigil]

It's interesting she had negative religious experiences in both this life and the Egyptian one. I have seen certain cycles of abuse repeated over and over. It might be quite scary for her to seek spirituality at this point. Your patience is all you can offer in this situation I think. That and possitive exposure to noncontroling version of God/creator. That may be your purpose in her life.

Sounds like the runes were leading you quite accurately.

The runes have proven to be a very effective permission slip for communicating with my higher self.

I've come to think that may be a big part of our soul contract as well.

[earth_spirit]

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[Immortalis Vigil]

Don't overthink and follow your heart, wherever that leads you.

I would like to add to Minyatur's wise statement: be willing to be hurt. Have as much courage as possible to allow the relationship to go where it will, without trying to control it.

Hurting just means your heart is too little, your ego is too big, and/or your attachments are too many. haha I offer myself in service to the people of Earth for the evolution of mankind. I will do my best to live up to my brave words and noble sentiments!

[Immortalis Vigil]

I figure she will only play those games as long as she needs them.

People will play those games for as long as those around them give their silent consent, implicitly validating and fueling such behavior.

I am happy and centered in myself. I strive to embody love that transcends condition and circumstance. I strive to remain present in the eternal now, and not engage dramas, manipulations, or other ego driven activity. Perhaps that is its own ego driven game that creates separation and detachment...

I think the word "ego" gets far too much negative attention.

I would say there is nothing wrong with the ego itself. Dramas and manipulative games attempted by those with needy, reduced Selves. There is abundance in Infinity, and those who love themselves have no need of such. Illusory shortages are created to suit the needs of negative polarization, which is then used as a pretext for manipulation.

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It's egoic to assume she is trying to manipulate.

Not sure what egoic means but it is most reasonable to be aware of the potential and act accordingly.

I refer to ego in the Buddhist/Hindu sense as popularized by spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle. For Tolle ego is our perception of self as separate from the creation, and all the little stories we use to define that self and set it apart. Tolle also notes that the ego isn't necessarily bad, it is just an illusion, and therefore extremely insecure and always trying to establish itself as separate from and better than the rest of the creation. The goal for Tolle and Buddhists is to transcend personal ego, and come to greater awareness as self as the creation.

It resonates with me, and I find the lingo useful. It may or may not resonate with you.

[Manjushri]

Why put labels on yourself and partner? You awake and partner asleep? Stubbornly so?

You will never know all of what's going on in another's mind. My partner and I rarely speak of spiritual matters, and we don't judge one another for not wanting to do so. We are still very much in love for nearly a decade.

[Immortalis Vigil]

Why put labels on yourself and partner? You awake and partner asleep? Stubbornly so?

You will never know all of what's going on in another's mind. My partner and I rarely speak of spiritual matters, and we don't judge one another for not wanting to do so. We are still very much in love for nearly a decade.

Very wise counsel, Manjushri. Labels create needlless separation and duality.

[BlatzAdict]

Greetings, brothers and sisters. Perhaps you can share your insights about the dynamics of a romantic relationship with someone post-awakening, when the partner remains stubbornly asleep. We were both in a rather dense place when we got together, but the process of loving her and being loved helped me to open my green ray and awaken. Since that time five years ago I have become a devoted and active seeker, and while she has made some progress she is having a hard time. The more I grow in light, the more evident her self-destructive/self-sabotaging patterns become. I still love her, but my love has taken on a much more universal quality. She seems to love me as well, but she is obviously having a difficult time coping with the changes in me. She respects them, but is at the same time frightened and not quite able to understand. We rarely share a bed anymore because she says sleeping next to me gives her weird dreams. I suspect the dreams involve unprocessed karma, which she seems to have a lot of.

I love her and enjoy her companionship, and wish to be of service to her. But I sense her pulling away, and I accept that. I cast the runes and the results affirmed much of what I knew, and warded against deeper commitment to the relationship (i.e. marriage). The runes seemed to suggest the best coarse is to simply stay the course, and let matters play out however they will. For me that means taking no proactive action to end the relationship or deepen the commitment, but to continue loving her unconditionally and seeking to be of service to her...and to honor her free will if a time comes when she wishes to leave.

I appreciate whatever thoughts and experiences you care to share.

Namaste

when you met you were at the same vibration, now you are raising yours and it is too much for your mate who was happy at the vibration she was at when the two of you met.

no longer are you compatible with this person because the pretense at which you meet now it's too different, there is no more intimacy, and there is no more of a relationship. it has become an uneasy amalgam of love blindly making one attached to another and yet the two of you are no longer equals. 

this is never the easy part of spirituality. facing stuff like that. I'll say, if you try to ignore it, it will bite you in the ass like it did for me. =̴̶̷̤̄ .̫ =̴̶̷̤̄

[April Wu]

I had similar experience, well i love my ex-boyfriend but we're not at the same vibration. He is a workaholic and wants to share the same goal with me in life, to be successful in society or something like that. He can't accept the new me and expected me to change back to the young girl someday...All I can do is to love him and respect him. Finally i let it go, and it does feel good. Keep our heart open, we'll find our love.

[Kaaron]

Not only have I been through a similar experience, I was raised JW lol.
I feel like ex-JW's are stuck. They're taught that they have the truth and all people that don't subscribe to their faith will be destroyed at Armageddon. It breeds a feeling of humoring people, like you care, but really you just want to know if they're members or possible converts otherwise they're in the "bad association" category.
When you're raised like this, you put people in categories, sometimes without noticing.
Then, you want to be in the category you've convinced yourself is the "winning" category. Which is probably the most powerful, even darkest (if that's the competition) place.
Another thing that shapes her viewpoint, is the fact that JW are expressly against any form of mediumship or spirit contact. They believe that all influence from spirit realms, are demons trying to trick you into believing in an afterlife, which they say doesn't exist. They believe that you die and are held in some sort of nothing, where you know nothing, until "judgement day" when you will be either resurrected (seemingly in the blink of an eye to you, the ignorant one) to a paradise on a perfected planet if you've been good, or just die and know nothing ever again.
This is where the majority of her hangups spring from, well that's what messed with my head for a long time, when moving along the path of new age thought in general.
Maybe try something like "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsh. It was something my JW brain could kind of process back in 2000 lol

[Kaaron]

There is nothing you can do to get her to look at the issues she's facing though. You are doing everything right by trying to be understanding and recognizing the behaviors...the hardest part is not getting caught up when it's obvious they're being controlled. It gets tiring and disheartening.
Forgive...forgive and forgive again. Then your higher self can use the loving energy to build.

[Immortalis Vigil]

There is nothing you can do to get her to look at the issues she's facing though. You are doing everything right by trying to be understanding and recognizing the behaviors...the hardest part is not getting caught up when it's obvious they're being controlled. It gets tiring and disheartening.
Forgive...forgive and forgive again. Then your higher self can use the loving energy to build.

Thank you for the insight, Kaaron! The pattern I've noticed with her is that she has a PTSD sort of aversion to all forms of spirituality. She rebelled against the JW religion when she was a teenager, and became an atheist. She distrusts all forms of spirituality and religion, fearing they are an attempt to control and brain wash her.

The only thing that keeps the door open to spirituality are her recurrent dreams of traumas in past lives, and her psychic sensitivity. But most of the time those phenomena are just willfully ignored, since they don't fit into the reductionist materialist paradigm.

I get a little frustrated watching her repeat harmful catalysts and self-inflicting harm. But then I remember what a service she is providing by processing such dense catalysts, and remember to love and not judge.

[Minyatur]

Seems like her aversion comes from the amount of things that needs to be healed. Seems like it his still part of her path to deal with them, perhaps in a less awakened manner.

It is much more pleasant and easy to open and awake to a positively polarized and balanced time/space self than to an unbalanced one that requires tons of work.

[Infinite Unity]

I honestly think your handling it rather well. I would love her, and try to give her as much love as I could. She seems very delicate and seems to need you very much so. However like others have stated you can only help in so far as they allow or cooperate.