Breaking out of shame with the help of the Law of One, Michael Teachings, and the Enn

[Confused]

Now I see the Enneagram as offering something different than the spiritual archetypes. I see the Enneagram as a description of ways that the human mind can get itself stuck. By being aware of these ways, the human mind can get itself unstuck and free to move again.

I think I too am getting close to your point. In other words, the archetypes are more about design 'enforcement' in terms of a matrix for evolution; while the Enneagram presents opportunities of 'empowerment' for entities within the matrix. Enforcement versus empowerment does not automatically mean dichotomy, but could mean complementarity.

Thanks for the hard work Q. You do deserve a break from these hectic write ups. But I look forward towards the next installment.

[Questioner]

I think I too am getting close to your point. In other words, the archetypes are more about design 'enforcement' in terms of a matrix for evolution; while the Enneagram presents opportunities of 'empowerment' for entities within the matrix. Enforcement versus empowerment does not automatically mean dichotomy, but could mean complementarity.

Now it's my turn to be baffled. Could you please expand or rephrase your ideas here? I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean by enforcement and empowerment in this context.

Thanks for the hard work Q. You do deserve a break from these hectic write ups. But I look forward towards the next installment.

It's fun and rewarding for me. The issue is simply one of how much available time I'll have.

[Confused]

[quote='Confused' pid='17318' dateline='1280112627']
Could you please expand or rephrase your ideas here? I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean by enforcement and empowerment in this context.

By enforcement of the design of the archetypes, I had the following quote from Ra in mind (session 92) -

Although this is correct it is not as perceptive as the notice that the Priestess, as this figure has been called, sits within a structure in which polarity, symbolized as you correctly noted by the light and dark pillars, is an integral and necessary part. The unfed mind has no polarity just as intelligent infinity has none. The nature of the sub-sub-sub-Logos which offers the third-density experience is one of polarity, not by choice but by careful design.

We perceive an unclear statement. The polarity of Potentiator is there not for the Matrix to choose. It is there for the Matrix to accept as given

.

What Ra called 'careful design', I addressed as enforcement.

By empowerment -

There are many among your social memory complex distortion who, at this time/space, engage daily, as you would put it, in the working upon the Law of One in one of its primal distortions; that is, the ways of love. However, if this same entity, being biased from the depths of its mind/body/spirit complex towards love/light, were then to accept the responsibility for each moment of the time/space accumulation of present moments available to it, such an entity can empower its progress in much the same way as we described the empowering of the call of your social complex distortion to the Confederation.

From your description of the Enneagram, I feel that it allows us to watch our minds in order to accept responsibility for each moment.

[colorado]

Just took the test and here are my results:
Type 1: 7
Type 2: 3
Type 3: 5
Type 4: 2
Type 5: 5
Type 6: 5
Type 7: 2
Type 8: 0
Type 9: 7

I was reading about the different types, and its crazy how accurate that spread is for me. Although the one weird thing is that with type 4, it says they are very intuitive. I consider my intuition to be one of my biggest gifts, but I only scored a two in that. Hmm. Although I have to admit, the rest of the description for that type doesn't really fit me. Anyway, thanks for the interesting ideas, Questioner!

[Questioner]

From your description of the Enneagram, I feel that it allows us to watch our minds in order to accept responsibility for each moment.

Right on. From your citations I think we may be talking about the same thing. Empowerment certainly does include the choice of what you can let go of. I had trouble with "enforcement" because I thought of a stern cop, ready to beat up non-conformers. To me, the archetypes are simply the ingredients that are available and compatible. A cook doesn't compel people to have to eat meals that include proteins and carbohydrates and vitamins... it's simply what we have to include, in enough levels, to maintain our physical health. And we need enough of all the archetypes in our lives for balanced spiritual health.

---

Just took the test

http://bring4th.org/forums/newreply.php?...&pid=17325
Remember that there is no one definitive test, because the Enneagram wasn't developed using the scientific method. It is based on observation, but it doesn't include theories that can be falsified based on repeatable, objective experiments. So everyone may have their own idea of what keywords or sentences indicate particular types, but it's not like there is some doctoral committee at Caltech that can switch on a computer to measure the validity of any particular test.

In a curious side note, this distinction between science and creativity actually got its earliest modern proponent, Oscar Ichazo, into legal trouble. Based on his training materials going back to 1971, he sued later Enneagram author Helen Palmer for copyright infringement in her 1988 book. The court ruled that Ichazo claimed that the Enneagram was an expression of physical facts of reality, not that he just made it all up. Since he had made this claim, the court concluded that he couldn't win a copyright case against someone else who discussed the same principles in her own words. Now if he had originally claimed that he made it all up in his own personal creative mind, he would have had the right to win against her book full of similar ideas and language. The appeals ruling is at http://floridalawfirm.com/arica.html.

I'll discuss types 1 and 4 (along with 7) in my upcoming overview of the final three types. Meanwhile, if you'd like to point out why you feel that the type 9 identification might be accurate, I'd be happy to hear it.

Spirituality of type 2 essay is ready to post once someone else puts in another post as a divider. I touch on some deep stuff with this one and will be interested in any responses.

[Lorna]

dividing post
only skim reading right now but looking forward to revisiting these when i have some time to properly absorb
might be interesting to do a poll to look at the types that are most prominent on this board - seem to be quite a few nines

[Questioner]

Thanks, Lorna.

Every type 2 implicitly shares this definition of God:

God is whatever force in the universe fills the hole in the type 2's heart, the hole that makes them wonder whether they can be and do enough to be loved by God.

The wise choice for type 2 is to believe in a God that actually can provide that filling satisfaction. Content that they don't have to be or do anything more to be loved by God, they are then free to be loving to themselves and to those around them. If other people don't respond to their love as well as might be hoped, that's still OK. It's no threat to not be loved enough by other people, because that doesn't threaten the healthy, mature type 2 person's connection with God.

The unwise choice for type 2 is to believe in a God that can't be any more loving and fulfilling than the sum total of other people's behavior, as interpreted by how that behavior inspires the type 2 to feel about themselves. This faith places the type 2 at a very unstable, risky situation, for a pair of reasons. Not only do other people have to behave properly, but the type 2 has to then interpret those behaviors correctly, in order for God's love to be present in the type 2's life.

These are generally not conscious choices made every day as an adult. They are a long since submerged subconscious sense of whether there could be a loving and caring Heavenly Father, based on extrapolation from whether there was a loving and caring earthly Daddy. This feeling about what life is all about is defined not just in young childhood. It can be influenced by other Fatherly roles throughout youth, or when the person really needed someone with that kind of protective energy. If they got that protective caring, they likely have an preconscious sense that they live in a benevolent Universe and are a good enough person to do well in that Universe.

For any person, if there is something far more destructive than our nervous system can handle, consciousness can temporarily shut down as a protective measure. Sometimes, if there is great physical pain, this truly is protective and it's just as well that we never remember the injury. Sometimes, however, if the pain is of the inner life - psychological, emotional, spiritual - the dissociation continues long past a point of protection. When there is utterly overwhelming pain, we can take leave of our senses.

When something reminds us of that past pain - whatever happened just before or after, or in the same alignment or situation as the past pain - all the warning signs are triggered. The dam bursts open, the emotional floodgates release an utterly overwhelming surge, and our awareness flees the present moment out of fear that it is about to hurt as much as the past overwhelming moment.

But here's the hell of it: if the original pain was never dealt with, then our floating awareness re-enters our body's time-stream at the experience of the original pain. It seems to me that perhaps, when the mind tries to escape the body's existence in space/time, if there's a hole in space/time from a previous escape than the mind/spirit will be sucked right back in to plug the previous hole.

This is why abuse victims, war survivors, and people dealing with other trauma related injuries can slide back into reliving the attack. Unfortunately, they then relive the experience of feeling helpless, thinking that they were certainly about to be destroyed and powerless to stop it, wishing to last out in anger against whatever threat they encounter, and so on. That unfinished business then becomes a hallucination preventing them from seeing the present moment.

Enneagram theory, at its core, points out that there is nothing more traumatic than feeling certain that God hates you or has abandoned you. Remember I'm not just talking here about the concept of a spiritual personality, but in the broader sense, whatever it is you believe, with deepest feeling, is more powerful than anything else at determining how your life turns out. If God doesn't love us, perhaps we can become more loving and then God will have to love us. If God doesn't notice us, perhaps we can become more extraordinary and then God will have to stop overlooking us. If God doesn't help us, perhaps we can become more powerful than God and not have to depend on any outside force to help us get what we need and want.

For a young child, their parents have the role of God in providing the love, help, acceptance and celebration of their own life which they can't create for themselves inside themselves. But at a time of helplessness, whether from illness, poverty, injury, or imposed circumstance such as war or calamity or abuse, any number of other people may need to play the role of God to us.

If we generally find that other people, when we need them, are good enough at providing enough help (even if imperfectly and incompletely), then we can feel safe about God's care. And if they aren't, then we wonder what more we have to be and do to meet God's needs or to surpass God's limitations. These three fundamental strategies - overcome by power, entreat by lovingness, make irrelevant by withdrawal - are the foundation of neuroses to the extent that they're the reliving of past pains when our mind flees the painful present, and re-enters the unhealed painful past.

Damaged type 2 people of either gender are trying to get certainty about Daddy's loving protective care for them, and the strategy is to be so loving that Daddy can't overlook those needs any more. The spouse, family, kid, boss, colleague, doctor or professional gatekeeper may be the Daddy to please with lovingness. The hell of the situation is that if the type 2 were to give his or her OWN loving, empathetic, truly helpful care to whoever they wish to honor and serve, throughout life, then they would receive back all the loving help and support they could ever wish for... just not necessarily from those to whom it was given, until the type 2 gains wisdom.

[Confused]

But here's the hell of it: if the original pain was never dealt with, then our floating awareness re-enters our body's time-stream at the experience of the original pain. It seems to me that perhaps, when the mind tries to escape the body's existence in space/time, if there's a hole in space/time from a previous escape than the mind/spirit will be sucked right back in to plug the previous hole.

A very powerful post Q. Much makes sense now in terms of my life itself. You are strengthening me to walk the highroad of faith and empowerment. Thank you.

But I did find the above highlighted passage slightly esoteric. Can you explain on that further?

[Phoenix]

Well, I do identify with type 2. But I think it's how I formed myself in studying Ra and making 'service to others' my calling card.

I kind of 'give' what I can and then withdraw into retreats of meditation.

[Questioner]

Well, I do identify with type 2. But I think it's how I formed myself in studying Ra and making 'service to others' my calling card.

Do you feel that you had this personality type before you began your spiritual studies? Or is it something that emerged in your life as a result of your studies and your choices?

I kind of 'give' what I can and then withdraw into retreats of meditation.

That sounds like a very healthy balance.

Just before reading your post, I discovered this message from Jennifer Hoffman. It seems that you might describe the same attitude as her message.

Those in your life who require your assistance on their healing journey are seeking your guidance and support because they see the light within you. Some believe that by being with you they can receive from you. Others want to learn from you. And there are those who want you to do their healing work for them. While you can participate in others’ healing, you do this best as an observer, guide and by shining your own light so they can learn how to find theirs. You cannot do enough to heal them because their healing is beyond your control.

---

But I did find the above highlighted passage slightly esoteric. Can you explain on that further?

I'll try. This particular point is more of an intuitive feeling about how things fit together, rather than a clear picture. So it is a bit hard to find a workable analogy but I'll try.

Imagine a river that has a pedestrian tunnel underneath it. At either side of the river there are steps connecting ground level with the tunnel. You can find a tunnel like this in London, for example, going under the Thames at Greenwich.

I'm going to compare this to a life's path through this 3D world. Our souls climb down to the tunnel for the walk across.

I'll now add some fanciful ideas and scenarios that are not realistic for this tunnel, but they serve the metaphor.

Imagine that some force pushes you through the tunnel. Maybe a strong fan at one side creates a breeze inside the tunnel. If you walk with the breeze it helps to push you along. If you try to turn and walk back, it creates resistance. This is like the force of time moving us ahead.

Now someone sneaks along side you and sets off a bomb. The bomb blasts a hole in the tunnel. The shock wave knocks you off your feet and through the hole. The jagged edges of the hole cause cuts as you are pushed through. This is like an extremely traumatic event that pushes your consciousness outside your body in dissociation. It could be physical pain of some massive injury. It could also be a shocking discovery that what you thought of as God is hateful or indifferent to you, and you're alone, ignored, condemned, helpless and friendless.

The nervous system and mind are overloaded, physically and metaphysically. You get disconnected from your own life, like a fuse melting to prevent the house from burning down.

But it is not our time to leave the tunnel. We have more walking to do. We can't stay in the water. We can't get to the top. Even if we wanted to, the weight of the water pushes us back down to the tunnel, and we are carried back in through the same hole that blasted us out.

The water starts to flow into the tunnel through the hole. You get sucked back into the tunnel. As you're pushed back into the tunnel through the hole, its jagged edges might cut you again. The fan's air pressure is strong enough to overcome the water pressure and keep further water out of the tunnel. This may not be accurate in terms of physics but I'm trying to make an analogy to how our spirit gets pushed back into our body timeline if it's not our time to leave the tunnel.

Now there are several aspects of the situation that need to be fixed.
First, whoever brought a bomb into the tunnel should be kicked out and not allowed back. Whoever brought the message of doom, that claimed we are not the object of God's love and affectionate care, needs to not be allowed to set off that bomb again.

Second, our wounds need tending.

Third, the air pressure keeps the water from flooding into the tunnel, but the hole edges are sharp with debris. The debris needs to be removed, the bricks around the hole need to be removed so the sharp debris edges aren't there, and then the hole needs to be patched.

This is like the emotional healing process of fully acknowledging the pain of the separation, the harm of the damage done, and then connecting with the true love of God to patch up the damage done to the integrity of our own boundaries and existence.

Fourth, the water that came in the hole, and the debris brought along with it, all needs to get mopped up. It can make our path slippery.

Suppose that the hole is not fixed. Normally, we can keep on going forward through the tunnel with some inconvenience from the water that spilled in. But then, farther along our route, another bomb gets set off. Again, we're blown out of the tunnel. There is already the leaky hole from back towards the start of the tunnel. We are sucked back in through that earlier hole, again getting cut up, and then blown forward back to our current spot in the timeline. In this way, when someone is cruel, harsh, unloving, unkind, we relive the original injury of separation from God.

Unfortunately, someone in an abusive childhood, abusive relationship, abusive job, abusive political dictatorship, etc. gets holes blown in their integrity on a daily basis. This area of the tunnel gets riddled with holes. Water rushes in. Even if they get past the minefield, later in life, any explosion will get them sucked right back into that mess of primal pain, bounced inside and out of the tunnel a few times amid all that previous pain and then shoved back into their present moment. As this happens, someone who's a suffer of post traumatic stress or another trauma disorder starts fighting for their life, on the basis of triggers that seem utterly harmless to others.

Another metaphor might be a steam radiator. A boiler supplies steam under pressure. The steam is forced through a pipe that winds back and forth, so the heat escapes into the surrounding air. Suppose a nail gets into the system. The pressure will blast the nail through the bend in the pipe, and the steam under pressure will escape. Now suppose the whole radiator is inside some containing box. The nail bounces around inside the box and pokes another hole going back into the radiator. Now there is another leak. Until all the holes are fixed, starting at the earliest one closest to the boiler, steam will continue to spurt out.

I realize these descriptions may be a bit unrealistic in terms of physics, but maybe they help convey what I had in mind.

[Phoenix]

Do you feel that you had this personality type before you began your spiritual studies? Or is it something that emerged in your life as a result of your studies and your choices?

Before the Law of One, if there ever really was a time before something related to those teachings. I used to get people together for football and other social events. It was always just as much for them as for me.

I use 'service to others' to justify how I want to behave anyway. When I was young I very rarely needed any discipline.

I can't relate exactly how other people see me (Jennifer Hoffman quote) . I have been referred to as someone who is able to bring other people into these deep, one- on- one, conversations. There is an intimate quality to all my encounters, but is that not natural at a higher vibration?

In accord with other systems (I study the human design chart), I think that this relates something, a profound need and sensitivity, a spiritual drive below the mechanics and individual oddities of my mind. I've had moving times in relation to this god idea from your post, which I only read today. But how much I have needed energy from people in the past, and how much I am unaware of it, is quite surprising.

[Questioner]

In case I haven't mentioned this lately, please take everything I write, whether my own ideas or words or ideas from someone else, at your own discretion. If something resonates as true and helpful for you, use it, otherwise please feel free to set it aside.

I've gone through much of the free sample material about the human design chart. From the free samples, I can tell that it's intriguing and complex. Since it's entirely one big batch of channeled inspiration from outside of L/L Research, I feel we'd be up against the rules of this forum to explore it here. In passing I'll point out one huge difference between human design, as I understand it, and the Enneagram, as I understand it: HD is supposed to show the paths that are uniquely yours to fulfill, in great detail. On the other hand, the Enneagram shows general tendencies that all people can encounter to be stuck or unstuck, dealing with patterns of life that can apply to anyone.

[Confused]

As this happens, someone who's a suffer of post traumatic stress or another trauma disorder starts fighting for their life, on the basis of triggers that seem utterly harmless to others.

Does the Enneagram make any suggestions as to how this can be patched Q? Has all this got to do with the balancing of the energy centres as well?

[fairyfarmgirl]

Many wanderers are familar with PTSD... and also culmative PTSD...
I am curious though how the ennegram can assist with this.

--fairyfarmgirl

[Questioner]

C-- and ffg, I realize that I might have left off at a somewhat baffling point. I apologize for any confusion. I'm going back and forth between this writing project, trying to start a new business, and dealing with a personal crisis, so I apologize that sometimes this project gets shortchanged. Now I've pretty much shown two cliff faces - much of the Enneagram, plus some material about trauma and healing - and implied but not yet shown that there is a bridge between them which provides safe connection across the chasm. Let me see if I can put in some missing links here.

I do believe that there is a bridge between these concepts, and that it can provide a helpful path for healing. When I've completed my introduction to all nine types, I'm going to link to a brilliant article by Riso and Hudson that ties this all together in some spiritual psychology. Meanwhile, here are some of my own interpretations of how this fits together.

Ichazo referred to the negative aspect of each type as its fixation. In navigation, a fixation is a navigator's or instrument's measurement compared to a standard that lets the vessel be located in space and time. This can include anything from noticing the location of the pole star, up to today's GPS receivers. In dance, a fixation is looking at one point while the body spins around, to avoid dizziness. These can be positive. The Enneagram can help us see positive places to focus our attention, inspire our growth, and navigate life's difficult passages.

In Ichazo's work on fixation, he was referring to the negative aspect of fixation. He was specifically referring to the psychological dysfunction a Wikipedia editor aptly defined as "the state in which an individual becomes obsessed with an attachment to another person, being or object."

The interesting thing about the Enneagram fixations is that they are an addictive psychological state which desperately, anxiously, compulsively craves another psychological state. For example, the negative type 2 craves the feeling that they're lovable for their helpfulness while the negative type 3 craves the feeling that they're admirable for their self-development.

Each of these cravings is an attempt to get into a particular psychological state, a state of feeling, a state of mind. Each of these cravings imagines that if we do something in particular, we'll get rewarded with that psychological state. Each of these cravings imagines that if we fail to do our part, we can still get that state as the payoff of being manipulative and hurtful.

Each of these cravings justifies any negative means to that end state by this theory, seldom verbalized: IF I get into that state THEN I can be sure that God loves me, cares for me, and has not abandoned me. Studying the Enneagram can help us slow down racing thoughts and submerged emotional reactions. Imagine a magician performing a track on a train that speeds past us. The Enneagram offers a way to put a near-instant train of thought into super slow motion, so we can step through it, frame by frame, until we notice where the slight of hand made the hidden switcheroo. Then we can make the subconscious drives conscious, and stop being driven by them.

All the manipulations are about getting us into the psychological state (unique to each type) that is claimed to be the proof that we're not separated from our Divine heritage of life and growth. If we are already connected with the Divine, through the Law of One, then we have no need to manipulate ourselves and others until we get a fixated state that substitutes for God's love within us.

We can then use the positive side of the fixations just as a navigator might choose to sail one direction for a while, and then sail a different direction for the next phase of the journey. All the types then become tools for self-growth, healing and love, and our own innate type becomes a unique internal compass towards our innate capacity to reach the unified white light of God's love through our vivid affinity with one particular color, drawing us closer to the Source.

The Enneagram points show fixations that may afflict our fellow human beings. Again, after I've introduced all nine types I'll present the directional theory and how I think that relates to the traumatized inner child fixating on some proof that they're loved. As we understand more about how this works, we have more ways to understand and show love to those around us who can benefit from our informed caring.

Next up for me in this series is my essays about the Gods of types 5 and 8. Then the overview and God posts for the remaining types: 7, 4, and 1. With all nine types in play we can then explore some of the juicy interactions between then, including the complex line of integration between six of the types. There's quite a bit of connection between Enneagram theory and balancing the energy centers, that hunch was right on and I want to look at that too as soon as we get there.

[fairyfarmgirl]

I wish you well as you journey forth with your business and resolving that which you must resolve.

Thank you for your wonderful posts. I look forward to the next installments.

Have you thought of writing a book on the Ennegram?

--fairyfarmgirl

[Questioner]

Thanks, I am happy to have these concerns lifted up for Heaven's help.
Yes, I have thought of offering this material in both book and seminar format in the future.

[Confused]

Thanks, I am happy to have these concerns lifted up for Heaven's help.
Yes, I have thought of offering this material in both book and seminar format in the future.

Hi Q, suddenly everything has gone dead on this thread. I was awaiting your further installments. Is everything OK?

[Questioner]

Thanks very much for asking. I haven't forgotten and I haven't lost interest! I have, however, been slammed with this past week's schedule. There have been several personal life concerns that have weighed heavily on me as well. I've had time to participate in some existing threads on the site, in some cases perhaps too much, but not to work on new essays. I hope that over the weekend and into next week, I'll be able to resume the essays and continue the series.

[Confused]

All the best Q.

[Questioner]

Thank you very much for the kind encouraging words, C--. The positive feedback on this series tremendously uplifts my spirit. I am dealing with a personal situation in which I am aggressively attacked multiple times a day, unpredictably. There is a likely path out of the situation, but it may take a few weeks or months to follow a path that's partially hidden to me now. As much as I have calm batches of time to share what I've learned about the Enneagram, it helps me reconnect with the presence of God's love in each moment. The Enneagram study makes this principle present through countless vivid examples and parables. Learning through teaching it is a joy for me. So I have high hopes of resuming the series just as soon as I can.

[Phoenix]

I hope you are responding to such attacks with the attempt to further polarise with joy and thanksgiving of the Creator.

What is it that is the problem here? (I.e. how are you attacked?)

[Questioner]

That is indeed my ambition.

I'm encountering pretty much a "perfect storm" of health, financial, relationship, social, and environmental challenges all at once. The attacks primarily occur in forms such as bitter false accusations, withholding of necessary resources that I could use well in order to survive and thrive and be of service, interference with positive plans, alienation, and deprivation.

Rather than going into details at this time... even summarizing would take far too long... I will simply make this request if you'd like to help envision a brighter future than these challenges.

Perhaps some type of prayer, meditation, visualizing another uplifted by Divine Light & Love, or just thinking well about someone, suits you.
If so, then please invite, welcome and thank all entities that express, honor, and live by the love of Christ, wisdom of Q'uo and balance of Ra, and that would like to participate,
to help me to experience all the circumstances, opportunities, and constructive relationships, outside of me,
and all the peace of heart, clarity of thought, and effectiveness of action on my part,
that will bring about all the healing, love, positivity, constructive service and so forth that could be present in my life,
now and into the future.

Breaking out of conditioned patterns of thought and emotion is a key element in my healing and growth. The Enneagram helps recognize how the limited, conditional favoritism of people has been substituted for awareness of the infinite love of God. This is a very empowering discovery I can make anew in moment after moment.

[Confused]

Dear Q, my prayers are with you. The lessons that you bring to us from your current travails will only strengthen us further as you teach/learn with more clarity on these forums. Sorry if that sounds selfish, but may be that is your service. May be you are a brother/sister of sorrow.

Love and light to you Q.

[Phoenix]

To pray and such, I would need a name or something. Do you think 'screenname Questioner' would work for internal focus?

I intuitively thought that the Edgar Cayce quote for today would be helpful and here it is:

For many an individual entity those things that are of sorrow are the greater helps for unfoldment . . .

Reading 3209-2

[Questioner]

I think that works. For a metaphor: Imagine a person sitting on top of their roof, the rest of the house covered by flood waters. Now suppose a search and rescue team approaches the area by helicopter. Do they really need the street address on the flooded mailbox? Or will the suggestion that they look in the area be enough for them to spot the person waving for assistance, hollering from next to the chimney? I have every confidence that's what true of human help is equally true of heavenly help.

I am convinced that forces of polarity (on both sides) are well aware of Ra's activity, of this forum and its members. I believe those forces are ready (on both sides) for any invitation to be involved with the lives of those who make this site a powerful tool for spiritual development.

How do I look up a Cayce reading online?

C--, I love the teach/learning work here. I may have a few more weeks of distraction where I'm not able to participate as fully as I'd like, in particular to have blocks of time to work on the essays. Even though I love to do the essays, it's great fun and satisfaction for me to see how I can compile and illustrate these concepts. There are some promising signs of how the outward situation may well open up to more positive circumstances within the coming months. By the way, I deliberately strive to have gender-neutral writing style and examples that both men and women can relate to.

[seagrass]

oh boy... I'm a 4 and a 6 when taking the mini/free test and I don't believe I need the full test to testify to the results.
Loyalist. Just the word evokes a lot of emotion for me. I read through both descriptions through tears... it is all still there.. the pain. Each trait/belief/idea is like the keys on a piano and I can hit any note at any time, good or bad.

Presently I am suffering the basic fears of the 6 (Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance) and the 4 (Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance) . Living them out.

It is very difficult to work up and out of them when they are in your face... but I also believe that poverty of any kind is not conducive to spirituality. I believe abundance is.
And it is playing out..as I am having a hard time fighting the darkness at present.

I am having twin flame issues and they have been building for some time. I am sure that it is for a reason that may turn out well in the future..but right now, knowing myself and how I deal with things on my own I am not seeing enough progress and every attempt to right myself seems to make it worse.

Reading the descriptions from a website just made it that much more "cemented" in my mind about how I deal with life. How I see myself. It enhanced my self-doubt.

Almost wish I hadn't read it and could live in a fantasy self some more, but my fantasies help me define my desires and it seems to work most of the time.. to visualize a more "true" self.
Faith in self.....I get moments of it...and then it is clouded by some force I can't always fight.
I have good days... and then right back again.
Inching my way I suppose.

[Questioner]

Hang in there, my friend. You are right about all the options being available to us at all times, to play a harmonious melody or a horrendous crash. Here is the thing about the fantasy self. The Enneagram teachings explain how each of us have a fantasy of what we have to be or do. We set up these requirements and preconditions inside our own mind, supposing they are what we must achieve in order to experience infinite love. The important thing to realize is that this demand on one's self is just a fantasy. Not only can we never reach that perfection, we don't have to, and never did. Yes, to try to win over people who were harmful or neglectful, we might have to try to be superhumanly perfect. That is the fantasy, and that is what we give up. In reality, we do not have to win over the Universe to love and support our growth. That is already happening. We are already good enough. We can become free of the delusions of our own typecasting, and then choose what key to play as each new moment arises.

We can continue the conversation here if you like, or focus on encouraging you through whatever issues you have if you'd like to start a new thread. However you want to proceed is fine.

[seagrass]

I do not wish to derail your essays. I meant to validate the 4 and 6 personally.
I went to look around at the Michael Teachings because I have not heard of them.
Found I am an Artisan with a little Service mixed in there.. dab of Knowledge.. So I have distracted myself.

[fairyfarmgirl]

I would like to hear more on this! In the past I felt I was completely unsupported by the universe. That was before I understood the Law of Attraction--- and I am still understanding its more finer points.

I have given my loyalty to people and organizations only to be discarded like yesterday's news. So I am interested to learn how to avoid such wholehearted supporting of others and instead learn to support myself. In the Micheal System I am an Old Priest. In the Ennegram one time I came up as a 2, another time an 8 and still another time a 9. Nine was what my Michealteachings Chart said I was currently working through.

fairyfarmgirl