Different Kinds of Love

[Unbound]

This one has been kind of baffling. I have encountered this idea of love being either conditional or unconditional.

I have also seen this idea that there is 'general love' and 'true love' which is supposed to happen only with one or a few individuals.

I have in multiple situations made girls very upset because they believe I do not love them because I do not perform the actions that they believe indicates my 'deeper' love for them.

What is the deciding factor that distinguishes these apparently different forms of love?

[Adonai One]

Most human relationships based on sexual attraction function on a primal or 2nd density basis. That kind of love is based on strong attachment, financial support, sex and things centered around the raising of children. It works well from a evolutionary perspective. Spiritually it sucks.

The insecurity is just a primal engine keeping the species reproducing. Primal desires will fuel what is considered attractive and what is not. I think it's easy to differentiate between a spiritual love and this.

[Spaced]

Hehe that's a tough one . . . and a situation in which I find myself sometimes . I think that some people confuse love with attachment and want others to feel an attachment to them in order to feed their sense of self worth. I would be lying if I said I had never found myself in that position.

[Ruth]

Variances in language often make it somewhat difficult to really discuss a concept like this. What comes to mind for me are the variations on "hot". In English there is just HOT. In Spanish we have caliente, and picante - or fire hot vs spicy hot.

There are certainly different types of love, or different definitions of love. I was remembering earlier today my childhood bible studies discussions about the difference between agape, eros and philia. Loosely defined as philosophical/God love, passionate (or erotic) love, and fondness.

In addition to "types" of love, I have found that there are also varying degrees of love, or intensities, if you will. Just as there are varying degrees of "picante."

[BrownEye]

Chemical expression?

[Adonai One]

Also, you're an attractive guy, Eternal. I just saw your pics. A lot of girls are going to try to hook up with you just for your looks. That's probably the core of your dilemna. The problem isn't you.

[Parsons]

It almost sounds as though those girls had specific expectations of what a 'lover' should be vs who you are as human being/citizen of eternity.

Also, I am almost sure there are extreme difficulties with language/understanding/semantics of the word 'love' vs the concept of romantic love on this planet.

Just a few months ago I realized how difficult it is to having a meaningful romantic relationship with someone unless you truly incarnated together with the intention of being in such a relationship. I was separated with my wife at the time pending a divorce and had absolutely no expectation of ever being with her again. I accepted it was likely I would spend this incarnation without a significant romantic other. It was at this time my wife finally (after 7 years of unhappy marriage) saw and accepted me for who I am and our relationship has been blissful since then. It came as a complete surprise as I made the proclamation that either my soul mate would manifest herself or I would spend this incarnation 'stag'.

[Ashim]

I see it like this:
Love has 2 poles - Positive and Negative.
In our experience this translates into STO and STS.
Beyond this we have emotions that express this love at levels of distortion.

@Parsons - I'm really happy for you that your relationship is working well. I hope the same happens to me and mine.

[Oldern]

Also, you're an attractive guy, Eternal. I just saw your pics. A lot of girls are going to try to hook up with you just for your looks. That's probably the core of your dilemna. The problem isn't you.

Please, do not take this the wrong way, but this is not as simple as that. A statement like this flies in the face of ALL spiritual teachings. I am not indicating that there is a problem with anyone, or if there is a problem, but if we say that there is a problem, and it is NOT WITH US, but with others, that is OUR problem indeed!

That is my take on it, anyway.

TheEternal: I think that when men/women talk about love in that context, they do not mean love. They mean a lot of things bundled together - acceptance, devotion, loyality, sustainability, charm, mystery, and call it love. That is pretty much shaped into every one of us, and we are all feeling at some point in our lives that we are not "loved" or we are not "loving".

Yet, what is defined as unconditional love is to place no conditions and just give that energy that allows life. Sun loves its planets unconditionally. It gives the energy to everyone, it allows the murderers, the abusers, the liars, the cheaters, the soldiers to live equally. It does not ask questions. If you love someone, you love him, and that is it. Whether you live in a relationship or not is a completely unrelated matter, imho

[Meerie]

Did you talk to the girls Eternal? and ask what they want out of a relationship and what they expect from you?
and tell them about your views of love and relationships?
Communication is so important.
Re the "didn't do the things that they believe indicate deeper love for them" I can only say.. there is a general difference between men and women in relationships that stems from the fact that the first person of the other sex that one encounters in life is either absent (in the case of women, the dad is usually at work and not "available" most of the time) or present (in the case of men, since mums still mostly do the childraising).
In many cases that leads men in relationships to take their partner for granted, and women to be clingy, because it sort of relates back to that first experience in childhood that they had.
I am of course speaking generally, this is not always so, and we all know the traditional family model is not as prevalent anymore but I observed that in myself and others quite a few times.
Therefore women might react in a sensitive way if they think their needs are not being met or that the man does not love them enough.

[Ankh]

What is the deciding factor that distinguishes these apparently different forms of love?

Free will.

As the result of veiling it is possible to ignore the green ray activation completely, from this point until mid 6D. This is the choice we are here to make in 3D. If you do choose to activate it, the "true love", the unconditional one, the universal is the goal.

So, in regards to the romantic relationships, I thought of a quote where Ra said that the harvest of previous experiences in increasing polarization is not an indiscriminate mating, but a mated relationship:

The harvest from the previous creation was that which included the male and female mind/body/spirit. It was the intention of the original Logoi that entities mate with one another in any fashion which caused a greater polarization. It was determined, after observation of the process of many Logoi, that polarization increased many fold if the mating were not indiscriminate. Consequent Logoi thusly preserved a bias towards the mated relationship which is more characteristic of more disciplined personalities and of what you may call higher densities. The free will of each entity, however, was always paramount and a bias only could be offered.

It is only a bias though. Ra also said this:

The first is the extreme potential for polarization in the relationship of two polarized entities which have embarked upon the service-to-others path or, in some few cases, the service-to-self path. Secondly, we would note that effect which we have learned to call the doubling effect. Those of like mind which together seek shall far more surely find.

And that the original desire of beings is to become one:

The original desire is that entities seek and become one. If entities can do this in a moment, they may go forward in a moment, and, thus, were this to occur in a major cycle, indeed, the third-density planet would be vacated at the end of that cycle.

So my belief is that yes, even though this planet might be distorted and have a difficult harvest, entities here are still seek to become one. Those entities who seek positive polarization, seek perhaps that "true love", that unconditional and universal love, which is the goal of that polarization, and they might also sometimes perceive this bias towards a mated relationship. In order to not enter an indiscriminate mating, some entities might sometimes "test" a partner, to see if it is the one they want to embark on that journey with. I was specifically thinking about what you said here: "I have in multiple situations made girls very upset because they believe I do not love them because I do not perform the actions that they believe indicates my 'deeper' love for them." To my memory Ra didn't mention this, but Q'uo did, and that is that males are more prone to that indiscriminate mating, while females tend to respond to that in their own way(Q'uo on "pigs" and "b******").

What I guess it is all about is about choosing a mate, one mate. And I believe if both have a desire to work through their issues in three lower rays, and approach each other, evaluating each experience, seeking the jewel (Ra, 84.20), then indeed, a lot of work can be done much faster, and that unconditional, universal love be found.

[Hototo]

It almost sounds as though those girls had specific expectations of what a 'lover' should be vs who you are as human being/citizen of eternity.

Also, I am almost sure there are extreme difficulties with language/understanding/semantics of the word 'love' vs the concept of romantic love on this planet.

Just a few months ago I realized how difficult it is to having a meaningful romantic relationship with someone unless you truly incarnated together with the intention of being in such a relationship. I was separated with my wife at the time pending a divorce and had absolutely no expectation of ever being with her again. I accepted it was likely I would spend this incarnation without a significant romantic other. It was at this time my wife finally (after 7 years of unhappy marriage) saw and accepted me for who I am and our relationship has been blissful since then. It came as a complete surprise as I made the proclamation that either my soul mate would manifest herself or I would spend this incarnation 'stag'.

I am currently in this state. I simply can not see a way that I would find a girl/woman besides my ex to be physically and mentally and spiritually attractive. I touched the void together with her on more than one occasion going both on this side and on that side of the void together and if I get another girl I will eventually have to cross the void with her as well and as such I would come across into the very same situation with the very same intent as I was before. Since essentially I would simply feel like I changed the skin of my girl, and nothing more, and it would feel cheap. I hope that makes sense.

I feel like "I played my games and I had my chances" and now that the jig is up, in a way, I am settling to a life of... Gandalfesque lonelyness and helping of otherselves until I fade away. I have a hope somewhere deep in my heart that it can still work but *shrug*.

[BrownEye]

The concept of love is a very complicated one, whereas the essence of it is not. Many cultures have multiple words for all the different kinds of love that there are.

In the English language, the word “love” can refer to such a plethora of experiences it is almost dizzying. It can be the word used to represent feeling states, attitudes, pleasures, or strong affections felt for any number of things from romantic attachments to sexual attachments to platonic attachments. This practice of using one term to cover a wide variety of definitions, as well as complex emotional states, is partly responsible for the confusion most people alive today have with regards to the idea of love.

It is perhaps then a beneficial thing to introduce you to the way the universe at large sees love. Yet again, it is a feeling space rather than a cerebral concept, therefore it is an experience rather than an intellectualization, so using words to explain it is difficult.

To Source and therefore your transcendental, eternal self, love is not just an emotion or a virtue. It is the basis for all physical and non physical being. It is the profound feeling space of total and complete oneness. Because Source is constantly in the reality of oneness, it is in the state of constant, unconditional love. It would therefore be accurate to say that love is the exact energetic vibration of Source itself.

Because we are in the space in this three dimensional reality of separateness, unconditional love is a feeling space, it is a mental attitude, it is a decision we make and most importantly it is a skill to be developed.

Love is not something that either exists in us towards ourselves and others, or it doesn’t. Loving is something we learn to do. Loving unconditionally is a lifelong practice. All things created, were created from love to love.

http://www.thespiritualcatalyst.com/ques...at-is-love

[Unbound]

Wow, a lot of deep and dynamic answers in here.

I would say that my major revelation has been this:

Love is NEVER lost, only denied, only rejected or separated from, but it is never lost.

Love goes beyond identification, and in truth, it never ceases to flow towards something, no matter how narrow its direction may be. It always leads to unification.

Love is hardest when you must love what you hate, and when love becomes wrapped up in an identity or form which denies its true natural freedom. We hate those things which do not lie in the direction of our desires, which we draw to us with our love.

Thus, Love is that which attracts in to manifestation the substance of the desires, which are all collectively part of the projection of the Mind, and are the functional constructor which substantiates the ideological imprints from, within and as the Universal Mind, embodied in a Unique Mind.

[reeay]

What I guess it is all about is about choosing a mate, one mate. And I believe if both have a desire to work through their issues in three lower rays, and approach each other, evaluating each experience, seeking the jewel (Ra, 84.20), then indeed, a lot of work can be done much faster, and that unconditional, universal love be found.

Do you mean one mate at a time, but could be several over a lifetime?

[Aaron]

What is the deciding factor that distinguishes these apparently different forms of love?

Free will.

As the result of veiling it is possible to ignore the green ray activation completely, from this point until mid 6D. This is the choice we are here to make in 3D. If you do choose to activate it, the "true love", the unconditional one, the universal is the goal.

Don't forget this!

(85.16) To the student of the balancing process we may suggest that the most stringent honesty be applied. As compassion is perceived it is suggested that, in balancing, this perception be analyzed. It may take many, many essays into compassion before true universal love is the product of the attempted opening and crystallization of this all-important springboard energy center. Thus the student may discover many other components to what may seem to be all-embracing love. Each of these components may be balanced and accepted as part of the self and as transitional material as the entity’s seat of learn/teaching moves ever more fairly into the green ray.

[Ankh]

What I guess it is all about is about choosing a mate, one mate. And I believe if both have a desire to work through their issues in three lower rays, and approach each other, evaluating each experience, seeking the jewel (Ra, 84.20), then indeed, a lot of work can be done much faster, and that unconditional, universal love be found.

Do you mean one mate at a time, but could be several over a lifetime?

Good question! To be honest, I don't know... What do you think?

What is the deciding factor that distinguishes these apparently different forms of love?

Free will.

As the result of veiling it is possible to ignore the green ray activation completely, from this point until mid 6D. This is the choice we are here to make in 3D. If you do choose to activate it, the "true love", the unconditional one, the universal is the goal.

Don't forget this!

(85.16) To the student of the balancing process we may suggest that the most stringent honesty be applied. As compassion is perceived it is suggested that, in balancing, this perception be analyzed. It may take many, many essays into compassion before true universal love is the product of the attempted opening and crystallization of this all-important springboard energy center. Thus the student may discover many other components to what may seem to be all-embracing love. Each of these components may be balanced and accepted as part of the self and as transitional material as the entity’s seat of learn/teaching moves ever more fairly into the green ray.

Not forgotten.