Father Forgive Them (Me)

[AnthroHeart]

The saddest time I have ever had spiritually was when I thought like Jesus. I said "Father, forgive me, for I knew not what I was doing."

That was when I thought I was being microwaved by the source field as punishment for violating my creation's free will. I was at a police station, and was undergoing a simulation that I thought was real. The whole room started humming, and things started morphing before my eyes. A printer morphed into a creature of some sort and levitated.

I was in emotional anguish. I honestly thought I had hurt others because of my actions. I begged for forgiveness.

I thought I was there to punish negative beings for being bad. I thought I was overseeing several negative social memory complexes, each represented by a police officer. My view on reality was warped. I had to be a baddie myself, and ended up rolling around on the floor in the simulation. I didn't do that for real, but it felt like I was really doing it. A policeman stood on my back in the simulation, and I rolled away, tripping him.

In the simulation they were scared of me. I didn't like doing what I was doing, but I had to. I at least felt like I had to. I thought I was being punished like Jesus, but I kept telling myself that it was nowhere near what Jesus went through. My experiences were epic like this. I thought the whole room became one big microwave oven, and was melting things. But nobody was complaining.

I was a little afraid because the policemen in the simulation ganged up on me, and were forcing me into submission. Then I had to convince an individual (the boss) about the Law of One. I told him how everything was one.

What do others feel about this? Is it possible to go through simulations we think are real, but they're only for our experience?

In the end, a lady told me I behaved very well. So I knew it wasn't real my experience.

[Unbound]

Your experience is an example that these things happen, no?

I find it fascinating the way that consciousness under different conditions can actually alter the frequencies of the brain and body so much that the physical perception of reality becomes distorted by the vibrations of the inner planes. I see these experiences as a crossing between the space/time plane and the time/space spectrum.

[Phoenix]

To be honest that is a bit much and I cannot imagine what you are learning.

When I pray to get out of things, sometimes it just brings more trouble, which does inevitably lead to me sorting it out through feedback, in the end though I find solutions. Weeks usually. For you it seems that there is some powerful force somewhere controlling the scene which is not taking any modification.

To in any way get a grip on the forces moving through your life I would try and work with archetypes. I would start with astrology personally. Trying to get a grip on your basic distortions. Perhaps for you tarot as explained through Ra might offer something because it is a powerful enough resource.

But I realise you don't like to climb in vibration, as you said you experienced a lot of fear when calling Ra once. So the answers to such things I leave to you.

[Steppingfeet]

What do others feel about this? Is it possible to go through simulations we think are real, but they're only for our experience?

In the end, a lady told me I behaved very well. So I knew it wasn't real my experience.

My initial thought is to see this as a malfunction, of sorts. Something going awry in the chemical structure of the brain and producing a non-reality that doesn't lend itself to catalyzing self knowledge, or self acceptance, or becoming the Creator, or polarizing.

I've had friends who have described drug experiences wherein a sequence of events are moved through, such as that which you describe, that seem to have little meaning, or bearing upon, or application to the actual life.

BUT, I really don't know and am in no position to say whether there is or is not value to your experience. Did you get anything out of it? Did the content of the simulation, as you say, help precipitate learning of any sort?

There is perhaps a possibility that the sequence of events you experienced was meaningful to you and thereby learning was offered. A dream is, for all intents and purposes, a simulation, a sequence of events and images symbolically conveying deeper dynamics and processes of the self that offers learning.

With love, GLB

[AnthroHeart]

What I got out of it was the experience of meeting Ra. Whether it was them or not I can't say. They were dressed elegantly in white and appeared holographic.
It helped me to face the shadow aspect of myself. Different pieces within me were manifest in the outer as people determined to dominate me. It probably goes in line with my desire to be dominated by wolfy anthros.

It wasn't a punishing experience. But was just sad at certain points. I felt like I was alone, having to face all this negativity. Well I did have spiritual assistance, as I felt like I was guided through the experience. So yeah, I got guidance out of it.

Then Ra showed me my own personal archetypes as cartoon characters on a wall. They were adorably cute. I had to balance them with some slightly more frightening archetypes. This was the day and night before I first went into a mental hospital. So I wasn't on meds at the time.

[xise]

It probably goes in line with my desire to be dominated by wolfy anthros.

I don't really understand; I thought you wanted a loving and compassionate cartoony anthros? The only anthros I know to dominate others are the werewolf types, which you said you don't like?

Btw, just a great pic from Werewolf RPG:

[AnthroHeart]

I meant lovingly dominated. Nothing fierce.
Where they sit on me and stuff like that.
But I'd still want to tell them how to dominate me.

It's a very subtle form of domination.
Not really into werewolves or werefoxes.

When I talk about anthros I usually refer to the kind, gentle, loving kind.

[Lorna]

I dunno Gemini Wolf, but I just wanted to say that's one of my favourite quotes of all time, forgive them(me) they know not what they do

It's applicable to so many situations so frequently and grounding oneself within that energy of forgiveness is liberating and wonderful x

[AnthroHeart]

You're right Lorna, forgiveness is so wonderful. Forgiving my past is so freeing. I realize that literally I am not the same person I was when I made a "mistake". Each new moment we are a new person.