An epiphany

[Adonai One]

Many had attempted to warn me about this in their different subtle ways and they have been proven correctly:

I have been operating from the left-side of my brain from the majority of my concious life and thus I operated exclusively on my chosen directives, purposes, restricted by them. I had forged an ideal self, an ideal goal and in the name of it had enslaved the majority of my heart, my true desires. And thus my life had become one of pure drudgery but of course there is much more work to be done...

Anyways, I'm having to burn everything I wish to strive for; Cast into a fire. For with these desires still chaining me, I am left without a true life to live and choose within.

There is still much to be burned but in my efforts my heart is crystallizing, my true desires are being unveiled. I would hope much of it is the same but at the very least I will be truly free from my rational mind -- as much as that disgusts me to say.

Faith... this concept of faith of trusting the self to do what you intend. Oh it was so foreign to me only a night ago and ironically I took the leap of faith and embraced it and I surrendered myself to the light, to infinity and now my soul is gradually being reformed from the years of damage I've cast upon it.

And the greatest irony is the fact I set a grand intention a week ago about attaining great true power within this life... And it seems the only way I could do it is through this. The daily q'uote is certainly applicable.

"Wisdom has a tendency to create within an entity the feeling that he or she is powerful and self-sufficient. In truth, when power has been wedded to peace and light has been wedded to love, true power emerges. And in that power is rest. In that compassion is wisdom. But the ground upon which you stand in order to do this work of reconciling and harmonizing those factors that blend into who you are is love."

So to the many of you that have tried to teach me this: I concede. The heart is integral else we become slaves to our minds. Slavery really exists on both sides of the heart and mind. Only in the middle is there true freedom. I cannot even pretend to truly know this at this moment but at least I have found the catalyst that will bring me towards that knowledge. It seems all one has to do is set the intention and it all comes forward.

[Rake]

Balancing wisdom with love is one of my core reasons for incarnating. I'v started to understand this by simply being and loving every unexpected experience for what it is. Take a step back from all the learning and enjoy yourself mate.

[Ludi]

edited

[Adonai One]

A summary of how my mind was operating:

Catalyst: A beautiful flower.

Response: You will love this flower. If not you will experience pain.

Catalyst: A friend.

Response: You will enjoy this friend and treat them well. If not you will experience pain.

It sounds ridiculous but that's literally how my mind has been programmed for years, haha. I lived under the threat of force.

[Ludi]

edited

[Unbound]

You were always on the path, I am happy for you because you seem genuinely happy for yourself for once.

[AnthroHeart]

My pain was when I was convinced I was lucifer and I was going to be punished for all the evil I had done by those who I had wronged. Also when I thought I was going to be burned by the sun, and get crushed by a black hole in the middle of Earth that I had somehow created.

Amazing what the mind creates when you're not grounded and higher chakras start opening.

[Unbound]

http://www.berzinarchives.com/web/en/arc...mm_02.html

[Bring4th_Austin]

Since you framed the idea as a "left-brain" thing, you might enjoy this program from NPR on The People's Pharmacy. They interview a neurosurgeon, the former chief of neurosurgery and chairman of the department of surgery at the University of Arizona Health Sciences Center, who describes his own thoughts on the dichotomy of left and right brain, how we as people are mostly functioning from our left-brain already, and his own ways of getting past this left-brain dominated experience by working with horses. It helped me gain an understanding of what we call left-brain and right-brain and inspired me in finding ways to engage the right brain more.

There is still much to be burned but in my efforts my heart is crystallizing, my true desires are being unveiled. I would hope much of it is the same but at the very least I will be truly free from my rational mind -- as much as that disgusts me to say.

I have sometimes struggled with my rational or analytical mind usurping my intuitive mind, overriding the experience of right-mind engagement with over-analysis and rational explanation. However, I personally wouldn't consider completely dismissing the rational mind an effective step for working in our realm and consciousness. This type of rational analysis can help us understand our experiences and inevitably grow. For instance, if someone who is completely ruled by impulse becomes enraged by something, they will express this rage fully and completely without rational analysis of what is good or healthy for the individual or others. Once this rage passes, since there is no longer impulse, there is no rational analysis of why this rage was conjured from our mind. The person will continually and always be enraged by the same catalyst without rational analysis, never understanding the part of the self that became angry, and never growing from that station.

Ra has this to say:

49.4 ...The entity ruled by intuition and impulse is equal to the entity governed by rational analysis when polarity is considered. The lobes may both be used for service to self or service to others. It may seem that the rational or analytical mind might have more of a possibility of successfully pursuing the negative orientation due to the fact that, in our understanding, too much order is by its essence negative. However, this same ability to structure abstract concepts and to analyze experiential data may be the key to rapid positive polarization. It may be said that those whose analytical capacities are predominant have somewhat more to work with in polarizing.

Edited for clarification.

[BrownEye]

My pain was when I was convinced I was lucifer and I was going to be punished for all the evil I had done by those who I had wronged. Also when I thought I was going to be microwaved by the sun, and get crushed by a black hole in the middle of Earth that I had somehow created.

Amazing what the mind creates when you're not grounded and higher chakras start opening.

You should learn how to remove dark energy. Removing it from the brow area will tend to keep your head out of negative or 'dark' imagination.

[reeay]

I have sometimes struggled with my rational or analytical mind usurping my intuitive mind, overriding the experience of right-mind engagement with over-analysis and rational explanation. However, I personally wouldn't consider completely dismissing the rational mind an effective step for working in our realm and consciousness. This type of rational analysis can help us understand our experiences and inevitably grow. For instance, if someone who is completely ruled by impulse becomes enraged by something, they will express this rage fully and completely without rational analysis of what is good or healthy for the individual or others. Once this rage passes, since there is no longer impulse, there is no rational analysis of why this rage was conjured from our mind. The person will continually and always be enraged by the same catalyst without rational analysis, never understanding the part of the self that became angry, and never growing from that station.

Ra has this to say:

49.4 ...The entity ruled by intuition and impulse is equal to the entity governed by rational analysis when polarity is considered. The lobes may both be used for service to self or service to others. It may seem that the rational or analytical mind might have more of a possibility of successfully pursuing the negative orientation due to the fact that, in our understanding, too much order is by its essence negative. However, this same ability to structure abstract concepts and to analyze experiential data may be the key to rapid positive polarization. It may be said that those whose analytical capacities are predominant have somewhat more to work with in polarizing.

Edited for clarification.

Emotions aren't necessarily 'right brain' function it's part of the limbic system in the amygdala which is the older part of the brain below the neocortex where the rational 'center', the frontal lobe is located. Information is processed much faster in the limbic system than it is in the frontal lobe, thus emotions are much more likely to 'spill' (i.e., have emotional reactions) rather than be able to moderate that with one's rational functions. I believe this is so to ensure our survival. When emotions and rational functions do not work in balance the possibility of not being able to process emotional information rationally occurs. Add: works the other way too - some people will attend to rational information rather than to emotional information thus they appear 'unemotional'.

In 52.2, Don asks Ra about the sling-shot effect and if that is a left-brain type understanding and Ra responds, 'We prefer not to utilize the terminology of right and left brain due to the inaccuracies of this terminology. Some functions are repetitive or redundant in both lobes, and further, to some entities the functions of the right and left are reversed. However, the heart of the query is worth some consideration.'

But this right/left brain myth stems from understanding the brain in terms of personality traits instead of neurological functional characteristics. As a personality train, 'right' and 'left' brain does occur and altho there is dominance in one type of action, the other side is also at play at any time, I think. Intuition also involves the use of past experiences to come to conclusions. These past experiences have become so second nature that the processing does not quite involve rational functions. Kind of like being able to see patterns rather than to reducing it logically to few details.

Too much indulgence in 'right brain' functions (which is not quite non-rational functions either) such as use of intuition would probably have the same effect of a hyper-active limbic function.

The one interesting info is that the corpus callosum is highly important to bridge the right and left brain functions, and it's thicker in women, meaning women are more able to integrate information using both hemispheres of the brain. However, if your limbic system (emotional center) is highly active this function gets drowned out so you become emotionally reactive.

Added: Dr. Siegel talks about emotions, right/left brain integration

[Bring4th_Austin]

It seems there's not really any hard-line agreed upon terminology for these types of functions in the brain and in consciousness. Intuition, rationality, impulse...they're hard to grasp conceptually and they do seem to get arbitrarily placed in this right/left dichotomy. The doctor in the NPR program I linked even uses the terms right brain/left brain to describe these things, and he has a wealth of experience in the field of neuroscience and brain function. I would only use the terminology as a way to relate ideas, perhaps that is what the doctor was doing as well, though he does make some correlations to literal brain function in describing left-brain/right-brain.

In connecting emotions to right brain, what I meant was impulsiveness, action taken without rational thought, similarly to an action based upon intuition. The doctor in the NPR program describes right brain function partially as existing "in the moment." When I personally succumb completely to emotion, I would describe this as yielding completely to the moment. To know precisely how I feel at that moment, to experience that feeling fully and to allow this feeling, instead of thought, to guide my action. I think this may be inevitable as a human to experience and could offer a lot of growth if the experience is able to later be called upon in "left-brain" function to analyze and apply rational thought to the experience, revealing ourselves to ourselves in ways we normally wouldn't be aware of if we were to only function in one "side" of the brain or the other.

[reeay]

Yeah even Dan Siegel uses those terms, too. I added the video above.

Here's another one