Compromise

[AnthroHeart]

In my home I like walking around with bare feet. My mom lives with me, and when I go into the kitchen, she gets upset that I don't wear shoes on the dirty floor. But for me, I'm perfectly happy not wearing shoes. I'd walk outdoors barefoot too if we didn't have sticker burrs. She thinks I'm a slob. She says it makes her upset and angry and that it's my fault she's upset.

But I choose to walk barefoot, even if our kitchen floor is dirty. Thing is, is it better to go with your own opinion and live by your own choice, or to compromise and think of the other person and go by their will? I do a lot of little things for her, but she thinks I do nothing for her and that I'm going to be alone all my life.

I think it's better to have pride in myself and do what I wish. She tells me I have no pride in myself, and generally is negative because she can't control me. Anyone else experience things like this? Giving in would throw me off balance.

In a relationship, how much compromise is there? Right now I can't see myself being sexually attracted to another human as I've balanced myself more to anthros. But I am fine not having a sexual partner or mate in this life, if it means that I can be balanced.

[Charles]

So far as I'm concerned, good for you. You have the right to define your own life.

If you were doing something that affected her, like constantly leaving the windows open on cold days, or like never locking the front door, or like blowing cigar smoke in her face . . . then I would suggest compromise or move out.

But I think you know what this is about, you say she is "generally negative because she can't control me." I had a mother like that. You also say "In my home . . . . my mom lives with me." That sounds like she's in your home. If you're in her home, then move out.

Many years ago my mother was yelling about something, and I let her go on. When she finished I told her that I forgive her. That shocked her into silence.

"What are you forgiving me for?"
"Think about it."
Got a day of peace out of that.

Another way to go, if possible, would be to sit down and seriously talk. Love me as I am or leave me be.

But, FYI, my mother was an evil lying b**** enemy. So maybe I'm not thinking straight. And also, FYI, at this point in my life (she died about 20 years ago), I understand her, and I forgive her, and I wish her well. I believe she was fulfilling a soul contract that we had agreed upon.

Everything is for our soul growth, yours and hers.
Maybe respond to her upset with humor and a kiss (?), but keep your feet naked.

[Lycen]

Do what you feel is right

I could project more of my own thoughts on this. But they would be just that.. "my thoughts". You have you're own that arise when a situation happens. How to react in each moment is you're choice.

You're heart speaks to you always, listen to it and act accordingly. This is my advice then as a follower of light .)

[Oceania]

does it really hurt her you're doing it? or is it about her trying to control you? it's hard to know what another feels.

[AnthroHeart]

My intuition tells me that it doesn't really hurt her.
She's just trying to find reason to complain.
I wouldn't hurt her on purpose, at least not anymore.

[Oceania]

maybe it's time to live apart. if it causes you both bother. would that be possible?

[AnthroHeart]

She lives with me so I support her.
She's on disability so I wouldn't kick her out on her own.

[Meerie]

Why not clean the kitchen floor?

[AnthroHeart]

We do clean it often. It's not really that dirty. But our dogs go outside and then drag in dirt. Sometimes they pee in places and that dries, but we mop it up as well.
My home is not slobbish. My mom makes it out worse than I feel it is.

[BuddhistJedi]

You need to do your thing. It was either in one of the Q'uo books I am reading, or the Jeshua Channelings. You are set here to live your own life in your way, setting examples as you do to those around you. There is obviously no big reason for you to not be in bare feet, and in fact its healthier for your feet anyways to not wear shoes. She is uncomfortable by it for some reason but it is your job to do what you feel is right and let your parents make their own decisions about what you are doing. People see those that act differently and have the choice of free will as to what they are going to do about it. (of course, I know, this is just the illusion of free will since we already made all of our decisions about life, we just cant remember our future right now)

[AnthroHeart]

I call the illusion of free will, apparent free will. When I was more open vibrationally, I could feel how we're like puppets, following a vibrational pattern. We only think we have free will. Every movement is sort of orchestrated at a higher density.