The difficulties of being a lightworker.

[aWanderer91]

Hi everyone,

Ever since I came to this planet I've noticed a pattern of beings trying to latch onto me and/or deter me from my path. They have a habit of not being able to work me out so they either try and find fault and project all of there judgements onto me, end up being mean and try to crush me with sly comments or at other times being outright brutal or they become hypnotised by the light and will do everything to try and latch onto me and keep me as "theirs" (energy vampire behaviour).

I've been crushed by the energies of this planet, quite literally, it's like a constant pressure on my mind, body and spirit and it's left me quite energetically twisted up.

I value being the age I am, where I'm now 31 years old and no one can force themselves onto me or call any of the shots in my life, it's all down to me and I have no problem being stern and assertive of my space.

But my question is, is the only solution to keep distance and create boundaries? 

Have any other lightworker's experienced this problem and how did you go about it?

I just crave to be on my own these days, with no ties or dependant relationships which most relationships are these days. I want to be on my own and write books, discover my dreams and live a solely independent life unless I can find an energetic match in a partner. Any solutions offered to my questions would be deeply appreciated, thank you for reading

[IndigoSalvia]

But my question is, is the only solution to keep distance and create boundaries? 

I hadn't thought of myself as a lightworker, but I think the question applies to many of us. 

For me, I have noticed at times, I create boundaries; and at other times, I might find a stone (placed in the wall or boundary) that I no longer have need of. 

My boundaries, over time, have evolved so much. I suspect it is a unique process to each of us: where we feel like a boundary can serve, and where we feel like one is not needed. 

I can only speak for myself here, but I find that I need more boundaries when I feel fearful, or when I need to preserve self. And, when I feel more trusting (in a broad sense, like faith), I need them less. 

It may all boil down to what resonates for us in a given moment, or a series of moments. 

[aWanderer91]

Hi Quincunx,

I believe not to challenge could be extremely deleterious on your part. I completely understand your curiosity with the dark, maybe I wouldn't of been able to at one time but to understand the dark brings great wisdom. After all, the creator is both light and dark. But to not challenge and to allow what could be a very powerful negative entity to enter your aura is almost borderline insanity, I'm not judging you here but it's just my thoughts on the subject and my hope is to maybe inform your judgment more. A negative entity that goes unchallenged could swifty remove you from the body and place you in negative time/space, force you to do their bidding in the current lifetime and disarrange you as a mind/body/spirit complex (just to name a few unthinkable things).

I didn't go into detail as most people don't want to hear such things or they don't believe they happen, so I feel to talk very borderline whenever I mention the black magic attack. I have recalled it all from what I gather and the insights about it have stopped.

I wouldn't say I showed resistance by not responding, quite the opposite, I simply allowed whatever you had to say to pass through me. No response arose from inside of me so I simply never gave one

[aWanderer91]

Great thoughts IndigoSalvia and your perspective makes a lot of sense

I understand your views and it does seem like it's what set of circumstances we find ourselves in to find what sort of action (or inaction) is needed in terms of boundaries etc.

Sometimes I feel I just haven't met the right group of beings yet, where I could feel fully trusting and at other times I feel I'd be better off alone altogether.

I like what you say about it boiling down to the moment/moments.

[zedro]

Hi everyone,

Ever since I came to this planet I've noticed a pattern of beings trying to latch onto me and/or deter me from my path. They have a habit of not being able to work me out so they either try and find fault and project all of there judgements onto me, end up being mean and try to crush me with sly comments or at other times being outright brutal or they become hypnotised by the light and will do everything to try and latch onto me and keep me as "theirs" (energy vampire behaviour).

I've been crushed by the energies of this planet, quite literally, it's like a constant pressure on my mind, body and spirit and it's left me quite energetically twisted up.

I value being the age I am, where I'm now 31 years old and no one can force themselves onto me or call any of the shots in my life, it's all down to me and I have no problem being stern and assertive of my space.

But my question is, is the only solution to keep distance and create boundaries? 

Have any other lightworker's experienced this problem and how did you go about it?

I just crave to be on my own these days, with no ties or dependant relationships which most relationships are these days. I want to be on my own and write books, discover my dreams and live a solely independent life unless I can find an energetic match in a partner. Any solutions offered to my questions would be deeply appreciated, thank you for reading

I believe some (myself included) are karmically clamped down until we are "allowed" to do full working. Being an outside player has its responsibilities towards maintaining others free will during this period of learning and self judgement (harvest), and so we are throttled in our relationships and circumstances. We can only help those who are ready for it, and our full true nature is still locked up behind the rules set for this planet and the ensuing spiritual battles and evolution.

So knowing the framework and limitations of our present incarnational situation is pretty important, and certainly boundaries are a way of managing it. It sucks but that's why managing expectations and attachments is so crucial for our discernment. Our time will come however.

[aWanderer91]

The truth and resonance felt towards your message Zedro is quite astonishing. I believe we are karmically clamped down too, I've contemplated this a lot. Almost like there's a price to pay before we are allowed to offer our full service, I've heard spiritual teachers refer to these kind of things before too.

I also feel that when the time comes we will be activated, know what to do and be allowed to serve in full capacity.

However we won't know the clarity and full truth to why we feel this way until the time comes and if the time comes.

Let's hope we're right

[zedro]

The truth and resonance felt towards your message Zedro is quite astonishing. I believe we are karmically clamped down too, I've contemplated this a lot. Almost like there's a price to pay before we are allowed to offer our full service, I've heard spiritual teachers refer to these kind of things before too.

I also feel that when the time comes we will be activated, know what to do and be allowed to serve in full capacity.

However we won't know the clarity and full truth to why we feel this way until the time comes and if the time comes.

Let's hope we're right

I have come to this conclusion with alot of first hand experience with myself and some around me. My friend calls it back-pressure, I call it the double edged sword. For example, if I do one of my plant medicine meditations, there are 2 phases, the positive one where I connect to the divine for the wisdom I seek (this can be thru claireaudio psychic connection or intuitive truth), and the negative one where I get psychically harassed, almost like the punishment for seeking. Certain things come with a price, like a battle card game where I pick and 'they' pick in response. The intensity of this comeback seems to be dependent the impact of the connection, on cyclic energies (cosmological? ), and my frame of mind/energy state. They exploit chinks in the light armor (distortions), including those of other people around me if possible in the rare case (my guess is vulnerable individuals who's polarity is leaning negative get easily temporarily exploited). So I walk the line, with my practice and with others, and have over time developed the ability (somehow) to energetically sense when I'm about to step into dog doo with someone and avoid the interaction. And when I don't get that pre-cognitive warning, it's usually because there was something to learn.

[aWanderer91]

Very insightful, Zedro, I'll certainly ponder over the things you have said.

I have definitely noticed that others around me can get triggered against me, as you mention it's usually the vulnerable and as Ra describes the "weaker minded" entities that it happens to. But it can happen quite randomly and out of nowhere, like they suddenly turn one day or just come for me out of the blue.

Being attacked by negative entities personally has also revealed lots of chinks in my armour, and I feel at this point that I'm naturally drawn to living a more pure life and feel myself returning to my authentic innocence and purity.

Living in a pure way seems to be a kind of defence, this can't be forced but it seems that while I'm not in alignment, dabbling with substances or over indulging in anything that I open myself up to all kinds of havoc.

More to point, becoming balanced seems to be our greatest ally as wanderers

[zedro]

Exactly, and we cannot forget that our higher selves are part of this 'karmic negotiation', so we have accepted (at least to a certain degree) the nature of those attacks because it helps harden/crystallize us into that balance, and so there is a solution to be had which will serve us and others in the end. It was quite the revelation when it occurred to me that I was at least a co-author to my traumas, that I had chosen and agreed to these circumstances and the destructive potentials to be here, and that I am capable of handling the situation. But it's a weird pill to swallow for sure, and not necessarily unique to the wanderer in general, but certainly our dealings with other players in the spiritual conflict is most certainly different from earthseeds for example.

[aWanderer91]

Where Q'uo mentions that life is like coming into the furnace to be crystallised, and I believe Ra mentions how life will mould us in a certain way, really stands out for me the older I get.

It seems we did choose the circumstances that would chip away at us, swerve our perspective in different directions and as you mention, to eventually be hardened and crystallised to the extent that we can serve in full capacity and with balance.