Always been here before

[sillypumpkins]

hello everybuddy,

ive been here a couple months so ill share a bit of my story now

background on my growing up: i have an identical twin brother. we are each others best friends. neither of us had close friends for most of our time in school because we always had each other. we used to think/pretend we had magical elemental powers, we were super into dragons, wizards, ghosts, the paranormal in general, aliens, bigfoot.... for some reason we both just love(d) the "unknown"

ive always felt sort of different from people which has made me feel lonely at times in the past. its not something i can really explain. im not sure if im a wanderer and dont really care to think about it really. anyways....

im a 21 year old male living in the united states. about 4 years ago, after i graduated high school, i moved back to my home country of the UK with my twin brother and my dad. the goal was to go to school. i ended up working at a bar for about 6 months then decided to head home to the US

anyways, the summer leading up to this i was starting to open up a lot. public school was always felt pretty constraining for me. so i think once i was done it kind of set some things in motion. i began to get into mindfulness practice and that kind of thing. the seeker in me really began to come out. living in the UK for that time was a really great way for me to exercise this newfound enthusiasm and drive

i began practicing mindfulness most days by going out on walks and being present. i began to notice subtle changes in my physiology, like my eyes getting wider when i was mindful. sitting meditation i practiced very infrequently

while i was in the UK, i tried LSD for the first time with my brother. i had smoked marijuana and drank cough syrup (DXM) before so i wasnt unfamiliar with the psychedelic experience, but i mean, it was acid. it was great

i began experimenting with lsd quite a lot. high doses and low doses. it wasn't healthy at times but it was a part of my path. i dont seek it out anymore

in september 2017, 6 months after moving back from the UK, i moved out on my own into an apartment. i was alone a lot. i wasn't on very good terms with my brother at all which was hard for both of us. overall a tough time for its own reasons. i started looking into shadow work and that kind of thing. this is when i started reading occult texts like the urantia book and the Law of One. im pretty sure i got the Law of One in early 2018.

well, in February 2018, a friend of mine hit me up and asked if i wanted to try dmt. i had been wanting to. i said i was home and he came over. he helped me vaporize it. i didn't "break through" but i saw what i needed to see....

this triggered a pretty rapid and premature kundalini awakening. the difference between before that trip and after were substantial, in terms of my awareness at least. i was really unprepared and subsequently had a pretty hard time integrating the experience. i went through a dark night of the soul, smoothed out a good bit of karma, went through lots of changes since then.... ultimately it's been a total blessing... and im still going through changes :-)

only a couple months ago i picked up book 2 of the LOO. im not sure why.... i just felt a calling to it once again. its been wonderful


thanks for reading!

fave hun!

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you for posting your story. I'm 42 so twice your age.
I did DMT about 8 times. I did breakthrough, and learned not to give into astonishment.
Never did LSD.

I can work with energy enough that I can tune into Peyote or any substance and feel that to an extent.
I helped a friend feel the best weed on earth at about 3/10 intensity, and he lives in another country.

[sillypumpkins]

sun, for me the catalyst was the astonishment! lol