04-07-2010, 05:16 PM
Hi Everyone,
I have just newly registered but feel compelled to tell you my story as to how i have got here, however, the answer as to why i have got here alludes me.
I think it would be best if i could descride to you a brief description of my life, which hopefully will be able to shed some light on how i have reached the stage i am at in my spirituality. Am i a wanderer??? I have no idea, one thing i can honestly say though is that i do not feel at home here, i have always questioned everything about why people do the things they do and why everything here is so different to how i expect them to be.
I'm a 26 yr old father of 1. I grew up in a small fishing port in Scotland with a mother, father and 3 siblings. My parents seperated when i was 4, my father worked offshore and was a heavy drinker and abusive father when he returned home, my mother was becoming an alcoholic/drug addicter. At 4 years old i was run over by a drink driver and was left pretty hurt and unconcious for a while. i finally recovered to find i was now living with my alcoholic grandmother. My siblings were also living with us. My mother then took us away to a city quite far from our home town to live with a stranger that we had never met. This stranger would turn out to be my abuser of 2 years between the ages of 7-9. He was a drug addict. We eventually moved back up to our own home town after the social services became involved. My siblings and i were eventually moved in foster care where i have been since the age of 9. I have lived with 4 different families, have not been in contact with my mother and father except for very rarely. I was advertised in a newspaper until the family i now call my real family fostered my in 1995. I now regard my foster parents as my real mother and father. I then settled down and have lived a pretty stable life since then.
I believe that these events have happened for a reason and that i had to live through those events to have the personality that i have today and have the ability to question my existance and the purpose of existence alltogether.
Since i can remember i have always looked at the stars and begged to be amongst them, why i have done this i dont know and i have never really questioned why i have done this until about 1 year ago. I feel like i can connect with the stars to a certain degree, almost like i already know what is there but cant really remember what it is but there is also a greaer part of me that is telling me to stay here and help people. i have been a support worker since i was 17, i gave up the opportunity of university, then later a £30,000 per year job, still to e a support worker. I get a sense of belonging from making people less fortunate than myself feel better, no matter how difficult their situation. I get a sense of completeness from making people smile.
Until about 2 years ago i was quite a settled person but almost over night i awoke to being a very anxious person, always on edge about something that is impending, its not something i can tell what it is. Until i found the LOO material, i still felt uneasy about everything. Now though i feel so much more content, almost like it is comforting me in ways i dont know of.
The LOO and its writing make 100% sense to me and such are my beliefs that i feel i have no choice but to meditate on it as much as possible, and i have developed and addiction to it that i cannot shake, i feel uneasy at shaking it, almost like i have to know it all.
Whether i am a wanderer or not i have no idea but one thing is for sure, the more people that believe in the LOO the better and the more people who are beginning to awake or are awaiting to be awakened should read it. I hope i am on the way to complete awkening, if there is such a thing as completely awake.
Many Thanks,
Jamie
I have just newly registered but feel compelled to tell you my story as to how i have got here, however, the answer as to why i have got here alludes me.
I think it would be best if i could descride to you a brief description of my life, which hopefully will be able to shed some light on how i have reached the stage i am at in my spirituality. Am i a wanderer??? I have no idea, one thing i can honestly say though is that i do not feel at home here, i have always questioned everything about why people do the things they do and why everything here is so different to how i expect them to be.
I'm a 26 yr old father of 1. I grew up in a small fishing port in Scotland with a mother, father and 3 siblings. My parents seperated when i was 4, my father worked offshore and was a heavy drinker and abusive father when he returned home, my mother was becoming an alcoholic/drug addicter. At 4 years old i was run over by a drink driver and was left pretty hurt and unconcious for a while. i finally recovered to find i was now living with my alcoholic grandmother. My siblings were also living with us. My mother then took us away to a city quite far from our home town to live with a stranger that we had never met. This stranger would turn out to be my abuser of 2 years between the ages of 7-9. He was a drug addict. We eventually moved back up to our own home town after the social services became involved. My siblings and i were eventually moved in foster care where i have been since the age of 9. I have lived with 4 different families, have not been in contact with my mother and father except for very rarely. I was advertised in a newspaper until the family i now call my real family fostered my in 1995. I now regard my foster parents as my real mother and father. I then settled down and have lived a pretty stable life since then.
I believe that these events have happened for a reason and that i had to live through those events to have the personality that i have today and have the ability to question my existance and the purpose of existence alltogether.
Since i can remember i have always looked at the stars and begged to be amongst them, why i have done this i dont know and i have never really questioned why i have done this until about 1 year ago. I feel like i can connect with the stars to a certain degree, almost like i already know what is there but cant really remember what it is but there is also a greaer part of me that is telling me to stay here and help people. i have been a support worker since i was 17, i gave up the opportunity of university, then later a £30,000 per year job, still to e a support worker. I get a sense of belonging from making people less fortunate than myself feel better, no matter how difficult their situation. I get a sense of completeness from making people smile.
Until about 2 years ago i was quite a settled person but almost over night i awoke to being a very anxious person, always on edge about something that is impending, its not something i can tell what it is. Until i found the LOO material, i still felt uneasy about everything. Now though i feel so much more content, almost like it is comforting me in ways i dont know of.
The LOO and its writing make 100% sense to me and such are my beliefs that i feel i have no choice but to meditate on it as much as possible, and i have developed and addiction to it that i cannot shake, i feel uneasy at shaking it, almost like i have to know it all.
Whether i am a wanderer or not i have no idea but one thing is for sure, the more people that believe in the LOO the better and the more people who are beginning to awake or are awaiting to be awakened should read it. I hope i am on the way to complete awkening, if there is such a thing as completely awake.
Many Thanks,
Jamie
We're all striving for the same goals. 
