A Healthy Introvert?

[Plenum]

I guess before the question can be asked, one has be clear on the definition of an 'introvert'.

One version goes:

* someone who is happy to be with groups of people, but after a while, they find it draining, and need some 'me' time to recuperate.

An extrovert, on the other hand, can happily spend all their time with others, and not find it draining, but rather, on the other hand, invigorating.

- -

so I guess the question is, is there a healthy introvert?

I guess I am asking the question because I think I have always associated introversion with neuroses.

[Ashim]

I guess before the question can be asked, one has be clear on the definition of an 'introvert'.

One version goes:

* someone who is happy to be with groups of people, but after a while, they find it draining, and need some 'me' time to recuperate.

An extrovert, on the other hand, can happily spend all their time with others, and not find it draining, but rather, on the other hand, invigorating.

- -

so I guess the question is, is there a healthy introvert?

I guess I am asking the question because I think I have always associated introversion with neuroses.

When I interact with groups of people I have to shield myself now.
From the beginning of my career I have always had to make presentations or give training to groups of people, which I found enjoyable, not in the least uncomfortable. I was however playing the role of teacher, so the interaction with the group was sort of bias toward me acting as 'controller'.
In the evening I mostly wanted to be alone and found company hard going.

Now I try to stay as alone as much as possible. I find interactions with others at times very draining. Needless to say I also have a strange effect on others too. I tend to be aggressive toward other males - my neigbour looked me in the eyes a few weeks ago and said;

"You...you..are an EVIL person"

Asked what prompted this insight his answer was,

"The way you LOOK at me".

Unless I have made a conscious effort in preparation I usually find myself depolarising due to the energy fields of others. Sometimes there might be a small rise on initial contact but usually the depolarisation will set in sooner than later.

Some people make me sick. I know that sounds harsh but it is a fact.
At some stage folks just forget about you and you stop getting asked out to events, parties etc.
There was a transitional stage where I felt obliged to attend family events and stuff but it did not take long to get to the stage where I could no longer force myself. I had to tell folks that I simply did not enjoy company.

So the net result is: I think people are a draining bore; they think I am as mad as a hatter. Nature at work.

[Plenum]

cheers Ashim.

From the beginning of my career I have always had to make presentations or give training to groups of people, which I found enjoyable, not in the least uncomfortable. I was however playing the role of teacher, so the interaction with the group was sort of bias toward me acting as 'controller'.
In the evening I mostly wanted to be alone and found company hard going.

I think most introverts would feel that way. That they are comfortable in performing a well defined social role (usually part of work), but are less interested and less engaged when it comes to small-talk and interfacing with others they don't already have a strong personal bond with.

- -

Needless to say I also have a strange effect on others too. I tend to be aggressive toward other males - my neigbour looked me in the eyes a few weeks ago and said;

"You...you..are an EVIL person"

Asked what prompted this insight his answer was,

"The way you LOOK at me".

lol.

Actually, that's something I've had to address a little in myself just recently. How I view/engage with the so-called 'alpha male' type. Definitely have felt a sense of intimidation and not-being-good-enough when around those types in the past.

- -

Some people make me sick. I know that sounds harsh but it is a fact.
At some stage folks just forget about you and you stop getting asked out to events, parties etc.
There was a transitional stage where I felt obliged to attend family events and stuff but it did not take long to get to the stage where I could no longer force myself. I had to tell folks that I simply did not enjoy company.

So the net result is: I think people are a draining bore; they think I am as mad as a hatter. Nature at work.

I did the whole social isolation thing for many a year. I needed the insulation to do the inner work that I needed to do. It was also about allocation of time. I just prioritised the inner seeking above social connections.

I'm probably a bit open to family events these days.

[AnthroHeart]

I don't like giving presentations at work. We have to like 3X a year. Hard to come up with new topics. Monica from this board has said that I have kind eyes.

[Plenum]

I don't like giving presentations at work. We have to like 3X a year. Hard to come up with new topics. Monica from this board has said that I have kind eyes.

we actually had a conference (video) call with an interstate office a couple of days ago. It struck me how brightly colored I was compared to everyone else on the shift

that's the introvert shining without needing to say a word!

lol

[Bring4th_Austin]

I guess before the question can be asked, one has be clear on the definition of an 'introvert'.

One version goes:

* someone who is happy to be with groups of people, but after a while, they find it draining, and need some 'me' time to recuperate.

An extrovert, on the other hand, can happily spend all their time with others, and not find it draining, but rather, on the other hand, invigorating.

- -

so I guess the question is, is there a healthy introvert?

I guess I am asking the question because I think I have always associated introversion with neuroses.

It's interesting that you have associated introversion with neuroses...what gave you that association?

I do think that there are certain neuroses that seem to be expressed by introverts in "anti-social" or "non-social" tendencies, perhaps the same way an extrovert would express certain neuroses through elevated social interaction.

I'm a rather extreme introvert myself, needing plenty of "me time" to recharge my batteries, but I do not shy away from social interaction. At times I crave it and love to interact with groups of people. There are other times where I feel I simply do not have the energy to deal with other people, or just simply not desire to do so.

The way I have always understood the difference between introversion and extroversion is similar to what you have described, maybe using personal batteries as a metaphor. Introverts use alone time to recharge their batteries, extroverts use social interaction to recharge their batteries. In this sense, introverts have no problem being social, there is just necessary recharge time that involves lack of social interaction.

I personally feel like maybe introverts have it a bit easier as far as spiritual evolution goes. It's a pretty well established concept in the Law of One and many other spiritual philosophies that meditation and silence are key to unlocking the path of spiritual evolution. I have been good friends with some extroverts, and one common factor I have noticed is that they really don't like to be alone. They get antsy and nervous, and have a very hard time sitting still and not going about looking for some sort of social scene to rest in.

Since I haven't experienced extroversion, it's hard for me to really draw a real conclusion, but it seems to me that when one feels a compulsion to constantly be within a social setting and experiencing a constant stimulus of social interaction, finding time to process the interpersonal catalyst could be difficult, especially if one does not feel comfortable being alone.

For me, as an introvert, taking up a practice of meditation was quite easy since sitting alone in silence was already something I was prone to do in order to recharge my batteries. Then, as the idea of consciously processing catalyst entered my toolbox, I have found my introversion to be a gift. I am able to make the most out of "real life" social interaction and then take it back to contemplation and meditation to process. It's turned into a system I am rather comfortable with that I think works well.

[AnthroHeart]

I am comfortable with being an introvert as well. Although when camping, I don't like to sleep in a tent all by myself, away from everyone else. I don't like being isolated.

[Plenum]

It's interesting that you have associated introversion with neuroses...what gave you that association?

I guess for me, it's tied into a wider complex of what society considers 'normal'.

I've operated under the burden of expectation for a long time that something was wrong with me because I liked spending time alone doing my thing, and it's not that I disliked people, but rather that I had a hard time vibing with the majority of people and finding a connection. In time, I can see that this indeed was a blockage, with lacking the social skills and confidence to mix; but it was also complicated by the fact that the initial impulse to take time-out was considered as somehow being a dysfunction in itself.

So I had to untangle those two things.

As to the neuroses, and neurotic behaviour, I guess I have given extroverts a pass on that measure, a free pass. Maybe because I wanted to be like them, at some level, and then I would conform to some sense of normality.

[AnthroHeart]

I never considered my introversion a neuroses. I am quite comfortable with it.

[Billy]

I often wonder if I'm introverted because I haven't really found a community or people who I connect with on a deep level. Or maybe like you guys have said its just a matter of recharging. Like most (if not all) on this forum I spend much time by myself. I wonder how much of that is catalyst and how of that is just the way I am. Do you guys think you would be less introverted if you found a group of people who you deeply connected with? And what does that say about the people in your life currently?

---

I wonder if I'd be as introverted if there were more love on this planet.

[isis]

can some1 tell me how come when i google "healthy introvert" in quotes this thread is the 1st search result?

[Sabou]

Do you guys think you would be less introverted if you found a group of people who you deeply connected with? And what does that say about the people in your life currently?

---

I wonder if I'd be as introverted if there were more love on this planet.

I am an introverted and that is my nature, but introverted people have the tendency to have moments of amazing displays of extroversion when they are feeling spunky. I definitely believe with people who you deeply connect with you will be more inclined to be more open. Introversion might still remain your personality but once you are open and comfortable with the people around you, you probably wont want to be intoverted. especially when you can be with those who encourage and love for you to be who you are.

For me, the challenge is to feel this way even if the situation isnt as stated above. To create the love that i seek in all situations and allow myself to be who I am regardless of the outer appearance that the situation seemingly presents. I can be the alchemist of every situation. Something that I am trying to do more often when I can remember to do so, obviously a bit more tough for an introverted individual but therein lies the even greater opportunity for growth. I still struggle and stumble.

Personally, I suck at one on one conversations because I suck at idle talk

[Plenum]

can some1 tell me how come when i google "healthy introvert" in quotes this thread is the 1st search result?

lol. I guess I chose an awesome phrase.

This thread will hit 2 million pageviews one day.

- - Master Thread Maker Plenum

[isis]

first up, I'm not a big fan of the terms introversion/extroversion, but for the purposes of this thread, I'll try to use them as best I understand how they are understood popularly.

first of all, there seems to be a feeling that 'extraversion' is the more healthy state or alignment of an individual. And somehow that 'introversion' is a deficiency, and if one is an 'introvert' it needs to be defended in some way, or the benefits of introversion listed.

if we go with that understanding, that introversion (popularly understood) implies things such as shyness, withdrawal, excessive need for privacy, unwillingness to share the self, feeling threatened by others, etc etc then it would seem to fit some definition of an 'orange ray blockage', or a lack of sense of personal power in the face of others.

I also understand that this 'version' of introversion is perhaps the cliched understanding of what introverts are as perceived by extroverts. So it may be inherently unbalanced lol.

but I think most will acknowledge that the qualities listed above are inhibiting to the self if one wishes to be a broader actor on the canvas of life.

I can acknowledge these orange ray blockages in myself quite readily; and coming to acknowledge them seems to be a great first step in liberating them.

[Parsons]

can some1 tell me how come when i google "healthy introvert" in quotes this thread is the 1st search result?

lol. I guess I chose an awesome phrase.

This thread will hit 2 million pageviews one day.

- - Master Thread Maker Plenum

Lol...

We should ask Steve if there is some forum mod that tries to account for search engines and/or the same user refreshing the thread a bunch of times.

[Bring4th_Steve]

I have not found such a magic bullet yet for this forum! I'm actually trying to find a forum plugin that attracts every single LOO reader in existence. I know it's out there, people are talking about it. So until I find that, we're going to have to rely on Plenum to build such masterful thread names. And we're going to need another server to handle 2 million page views a day, so thanks for the warning!

But in terms of trying to track generic page hits versus qualified page hits, I don't think we can solve that unless we took away the public viewing rights and made it "members only", which I know a lot of people have felt repulsed by in the past. Also, closing the content to "members only" means no search engines will be able to crawl the content, either, making it difficult for seekers to find us.

It's an interesting question why some threads get nailed, while others do not. If the title is catchy or trendy, we may be getting a lot of guest users that are simply trying to see if they are hitting a relevant result. I mean, who's NOT searching the net every day for "healthy introvert"??? So I can see why this thread is headed for millions of views.

I will confirm, however, that web crawlers and GoogleBots do "not" add to the page view count! They are filtered, according to the MyBB forums. Guests and member views *are* added to the count, so it's more than likely that humans have hit our pages before deciding whether Bring4th matched their search or not.

http://community.mybb.com/post-882217.html

Hope that helps!
Steve

can some1 tell me how come when i google "healthy introvert" in quotes this thread is the 1st search result?

lol. I guess I chose an awesome phrase.

This thread will hit 2 million pageviews one day.

- - Master Thread Maker Plenum

Lol...

We should ask Steve if there is some forum mod that tries to account for search engines and/or the same user refreshing the thread a bunch of times.

[ScottK]

I think there's kind of a degenerating cycle that can happen with introverts and I was caught in that earlier in my life. Introverts would tend to have a lack of social confidence because it's not their primary motivator. Others who are more extroverted pick up on that lack of confidence, and avoid the introvert, which then leads to the introvert being more self conscious and isolated. And from there, the cycle continues downward.. It's of course complicated by the way that many feel the need to put others down to seemingly make them feel better about themselves.

Through a sequence of trial and error attempts, I learned how to break out of that cycle. I had, for some crazy reason, taken a job as a salesman, so at that point, I was kind of forced to learn to relate to others.

The most important things I learned in doing that were the power of a smile and simply getting into the habit of saying positive things to others about themselves or what they have created. When you do that, it makes most interactions more pleasant and enjoyable and puts the other person at ease - it sends the message that you respect them.. When you respect them, they respect you. It's really simple.

Learning how to do this didn't happen overnight, but I've really enjoyed the process of figuring this out, and it has made me understand the Law of One better in the process, surprisingly.. Being an introvert is not a death sentence to poor social interactions with others - it just means that if you want to have solid interactions, you simply have to work on it because it doesn't come naturally to you..

[AnthroHeart]

Is there introversion in 4D positive?

[Diana]

There is also the concept of simply being reclusive.

I am gregarious and extraverted when around others. But I always need to recuperate afterwards. I need to re-center in my own space. I spend a LOT of time alone and love it. I do not think of myself as introverted, rather, I am reclusive for many reasons. Some of those reasons are the erratic and dramatic and negative energies of others and other places; the cruelty in the world; the ubiquitous (brainwashing) media; etc.

Screw the labels. Just do what feels right for you. It's empowering. If you have a twinge that being reclusive isn't serving you in some way, deal with it then, with courage and self-honesty.

[AnthroHeart]

When I pull into work, I can sometimes feel the thick draining energy of everyone's tiredness from the parking lot.

[isis]

here's an example of an unhealthy introvert

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/member.ph...e&uid=5448

[Billy]

Is there introversion in 4D positive?

I was thinking the same. I imagine there probably isn't. Why would there be?

[Unbound]

Why wouldn't there be? Why would higher density mean suddenly everybody is extraverted and sociable? That doesn't make much sense to me. Going up the densities means embracing more of what one is, not the end of aspects of self. Not to mention, these Jungian terms are often given a much more expansive and vague definition than was the case for Jung.

Everybody is both introverted and extraverted in different degrees.

[Bluebell]

I am healtiest alone but connected (wifi)

Don't confuse being sensitive w illness! I am way more extroverted w people who have gentle souls/energy. As I sense energies this is the crucial thing.

[Billy]

Why wouldn't there be? Why would higher density mean suddenly everybody is extraverted and sociable? That doesn't make much sense to me. Going up the densities means embracing more of what one is, not the end of aspects of self. Not to mention, these Jungian terms are often given a much more expansive and vague definition than was the case for Jung.

Everybody is both introverted and extraverted in different degrees.

Haha I admit to throwing around many words which I only have a very vague understanding of, if any at all.