08-23-2012, 03:56 PM
I'm not sure how well this story will be received. I'll keep it relatively brief considering the vast amount I could elaborate on. I've been "lurking" :p on Bring4th since 2011, only recently posting. I fear I may open a can of worms for which there is no lid, and for which I may later wish there was one.
I only discovered Zaxon's posts in the Bringth4th forum yesterday. Alas, he had already ceased contact. I likely wouldn't have participated in the discussions anyway, as I seem to view the information he put forth differently than most here. Eons ago (as the concept of time is concerned), I was STS. I am a Wanderer, but prior to this incarnation I was not polarized at all. During this incarnation, I found it necessary to again choose & polarize.
That is the thing about this incarnation, & about 3rd density environment. 3rd density is the density of choice. It is the density in which self is most fully & harshly perceived as separate. When faced with that, in combination with the veil of forgetting I agreed to inherit as part of incarnation, my higher density energies went haywire. It has been most uncomfortable & dispicable for me to choose anything at all. I am used to & familiar with unity of ALL. This business of separation & the idea of self has seemed like a real ambush.
Zaxon seemed enamored with the idea of self, as well as with the Creator. I have a deep appreciation for that. However, I go beyond that. (As I'm sure he is capable, but seems to choose not to, which is perfectly fine & well.) I go to no self or other selves, clear to the All That Is, where the Creator IS self/other selves/creation...where there is no duality, only Oneness.
Choosing, separating, & disintegrating within the energy of this planetary sphere has been quite the experience. I have found it impossible to have a quality interface as a 3rd density human on this plane at this "now" time without perceiving self. Polarizing toward either STO or STS is also vital in optimizing the teaching/learning, learning/teaching opportunities presented in this incarnation. Additionally, immersion into this 3rd density illusion is necessary. Each of these tasks has proven most painful, angering, foreign, isolating & difficult.
I have no desire to live in the illusion of "one way or the other". There is no more than ONE way, only perceptions of It. Yet here, on Earth, I must. Duality, self, other selves, separation...it is all very difficult for me. But I have awakened &, although begrudgingly, chosen. I have chosen STO for this incarnation. I will attempt to explain the point of view that resonates with me, my idea of home.
Imagine a light beam directed from a laser onto a wall. At the point it touches the wall, it "splits", turning into a horizontal line. (Or vertical, doesn't matter. I just picture it as horizontal.) Think of the Creator as All That Is. As the One, the ONLY. (When I say ONLY I do mean that in a literal sense.) Now, think of ONLY as shooting forth a beam of light. Contained within that beam of light is "self". The emergence of that light burst is as an entity being shot forth from Source, as the beam of light shoots forth from a laser. The entity is projected, born, created, and contains within it the Light of the Creator.
The beam of light "hits" something (the wall/awareness), & "splits". (The split is merely awareness, and we begin to perceive (linearly).) The line, like any line, does not go forward or backward (past or present), it just exists...in totality. The line in this analogy is endless in either "direction", stretching to and from Infinity. It IS, in a sense, Infinity. It is Creator, it is self, it is other selves, it is creation. (We, however, perceive it to be fragmented. We perceive past, present, & future.)
But a laser shown onto a wall does not, in fact, transform into a line or reflect such "splitting". It is seen as a singular point upon the wall, & rightly so. The shooting forth itself...that burst of Light from the Creator (which we might call manifestation), "creates". It creates illusion and perception...of creation, self, other selves...of all. All "beyond" the Creator is illusion. Perception is illusion. There is but ONE. One singular point.
The Creator is that singular point, not creation (the bursts of light projected on the wall). All "else" is by, through, from, and of the Creator...wholly. However, it is perceived, and because it is perceived, it is "separate". When the ONLY "creates", things that we do not understand SEEM to occur due to the introduction of perception and illusion arising from awareness.
Nothing is "here", nor is it "there". It just IS. We "live" in many illusions and perceptions. For the sake of simplicity, I refer to All. However, there is no All...only One. One having the perceived experiences of many, many having the perceived experiences of One.
That "splitting", that line, although it is not actual, is All that we perceive. It "becomes" linear time, when it is actually a singular point. Realistically, there is no fragmentation...no past, present, or furture. There is no self, other selves, or creation. These are illusions and perceptions. There is the ONLY.
Our lives and realities, everything in existence, are simply illusions and perceptions. However, they are extremely real, both to us and in "ultimate reality". "It"..."All" of It...will work out perfectly. It IS perfect already. "It" is the Creator. We are the Creator. Every bit of everything is the Creator. That is my understanding and perception.
This third density environment is very, very difficult for me. Everything is 100% paradoxical, as nothing is at all familiar, yet everything is wholly familiar. I admit, one moment I'm as lost as a duck in the desert and the next I'm resonating in blissful harmony. Until I lose the shackles of awareness as it is experienced in densities lower than whence I came, I will not be wholly comfortable.
I very genuinely value the beauty in what is perceived as light and dark in a profound way that I fear would be almost obscene to others. Therefore, I do not let it be known. Today, I'm allowing it to be known. My place of "home" is acceptence of totality...absorption. That cannot be constructed with much stability or longevity here. Yet it remains, & I will utilize this incarnation to regain it.
I only discovered Zaxon's posts in the Bringth4th forum yesterday. Alas, he had already ceased contact. I likely wouldn't have participated in the discussions anyway, as I seem to view the information he put forth differently than most here. Eons ago (as the concept of time is concerned), I was STS. I am a Wanderer, but prior to this incarnation I was not polarized at all. During this incarnation, I found it necessary to again choose & polarize.
That is the thing about this incarnation, & about 3rd density environment. 3rd density is the density of choice. It is the density in which self is most fully & harshly perceived as separate. When faced with that, in combination with the veil of forgetting I agreed to inherit as part of incarnation, my higher density energies went haywire. It has been most uncomfortable & dispicable for me to choose anything at all. I am used to & familiar with unity of ALL. This business of separation & the idea of self has seemed like a real ambush.
Zaxon seemed enamored with the idea of self, as well as with the Creator. I have a deep appreciation for that. However, I go beyond that. (As I'm sure he is capable, but seems to choose not to, which is perfectly fine & well.) I go to no self or other selves, clear to the All That Is, where the Creator IS self/other selves/creation...where there is no duality, only Oneness.
Choosing, separating, & disintegrating within the energy of this planetary sphere has been quite the experience. I have found it impossible to have a quality interface as a 3rd density human on this plane at this "now" time without perceiving self. Polarizing toward either STO or STS is also vital in optimizing the teaching/learning, learning/teaching opportunities presented in this incarnation. Additionally, immersion into this 3rd density illusion is necessary. Each of these tasks has proven most painful, angering, foreign, isolating & difficult.
I have no desire to live in the illusion of "one way or the other". There is no more than ONE way, only perceptions of It. Yet here, on Earth, I must. Duality, self, other selves, separation...it is all very difficult for me. But I have awakened &, although begrudgingly, chosen. I have chosen STO for this incarnation. I will attempt to explain the point of view that resonates with me, my idea of home.
Imagine a light beam directed from a laser onto a wall. At the point it touches the wall, it "splits", turning into a horizontal line. (Or vertical, doesn't matter. I just picture it as horizontal.) Think of the Creator as All That Is. As the One, the ONLY. (When I say ONLY I do mean that in a literal sense.) Now, think of ONLY as shooting forth a beam of light. Contained within that beam of light is "self". The emergence of that light burst is as an entity being shot forth from Source, as the beam of light shoots forth from a laser. The entity is projected, born, created, and contains within it the Light of the Creator.
The beam of light "hits" something (the wall/awareness), & "splits". (The split is merely awareness, and we begin to perceive (linearly).) The line, like any line, does not go forward or backward (past or present), it just exists...in totality. The line in this analogy is endless in either "direction", stretching to and from Infinity. It IS, in a sense, Infinity. It is Creator, it is self, it is other selves, it is creation. (We, however, perceive it to be fragmented. We perceive past, present, & future.)
But a laser shown onto a wall does not, in fact, transform into a line or reflect such "splitting". It is seen as a singular point upon the wall, & rightly so. The shooting forth itself...that burst of Light from the Creator (which we might call manifestation), "creates". It creates illusion and perception...of creation, self, other selves...of all. All "beyond" the Creator is illusion. Perception is illusion. There is but ONE. One singular point.
The Creator is that singular point, not creation (the bursts of light projected on the wall). All "else" is by, through, from, and of the Creator...wholly. However, it is perceived, and because it is perceived, it is "separate". When the ONLY "creates", things that we do not understand SEEM to occur due to the introduction of perception and illusion arising from awareness.
Nothing is "here", nor is it "there". It just IS. We "live" in many illusions and perceptions. For the sake of simplicity, I refer to All. However, there is no All...only One. One having the perceived experiences of many, many having the perceived experiences of One.
That "splitting", that line, although it is not actual, is All that we perceive. It "becomes" linear time, when it is actually a singular point. Realistically, there is no fragmentation...no past, present, or furture. There is no self, other selves, or creation. These are illusions and perceptions. There is the ONLY.
Our lives and realities, everything in existence, are simply illusions and perceptions. However, they are extremely real, both to us and in "ultimate reality". "It"..."All" of It...will work out perfectly. It IS perfect already. "It" is the Creator. We are the Creator. Every bit of everything is the Creator. That is my understanding and perception.
This third density environment is very, very difficult for me. Everything is 100% paradoxical, as nothing is at all familiar, yet everything is wholly familiar. I admit, one moment I'm as lost as a duck in the desert and the next I'm resonating in blissful harmony. Until I lose the shackles of awareness as it is experienced in densities lower than whence I came, I will not be wholly comfortable.
I very genuinely value the beauty in what is perceived as light and dark in a profound way that I fear would be almost obscene to others. Therefore, I do not let it be known. Today, I'm allowing it to be known. My place of "home" is acceptence of totality...absorption. That cannot be constructed with much stability or longevity here. Yet it remains, & I will utilize this incarnation to regain it.
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You see the Light before the Prism, there is only One. Deepest blessings to you, one child of the light and dark, united. 
![[Image: eqwcj7.jpg]](http://i50.tinypic.com/eqwcj7.jpg)
